Walker
by sakurademonalchemist
Summary: Harry, son of Gabriel the Arch Angel, is stranded out of place and time after the attack from Micheal. In order to return back to his alternate reality, he must put an end to the Apocalypse and figure out how he's supposed to stop Lucifer in his own time. The only question is whether or not this Angelic version of the infamous Doctor will survive 134 alternates!
1. Hunter Recap

_**The story so far on Hunter**_

_**OR**_

_**That really annoying recap that you can skip on the DVDs...**_

Harry goes on a random camping trip with his 'family' and encounters a Wendigo, setting him on the path to become a hunter. Eight years later, Harry summons Loki, AKA Gabriel the arch angel, in order to learn Enochian symbols and instead starts off a chain-reaction.

A few months after dealing with the Toad via bringing Loki to Hogwarts, Harry meets the Winchesters for the first time. At the end of fifth year, Harry brings in his Hunter contacts to deal with Voldemort so he can live his own life and begins traveling with either Gabriel or the Winchester brothers and begins a company to provide internet and cell phone service to hunters which he called the Monkey Magic Corporation. The company is a major hit and quickly rises in the business world, not that he pays attention to it.

When Dean is sent to hell, Harry steps in to keep Sam from killing himself with depression, and to keep Ruby from getting her claws into him. When Dean came back, Harry fills them in on things that no one bothered to tell either brother...that they are the chosen vessels for Lucifer and Micheal in the war to come, and that Lilith was going to be breaking seals now that Dean had come back. In order to keep the angels out of the loop, Harry helps Dean contact Castiel, the angel of Thursday who saved Dean from hell's grasp.

Shortly after the rising of the Witnesses, Gabriel tells Harry that the Winchester brothers aren't the only ones dealing with fate...Harry has two prophecies hanging over his head, one of which has never been completed before in all the 'resets' that happen when the world is about to end. It is then that Harry finds out that God and Fate have been essentially turning back the clock, and that it's Fate's fault that he had gone on that ill-fated camping trip and encountered the Wendigo.

Shortly after the Weasly twins flee to America, Harry learns that Dumbledore isn't as Light as he claims and makes plans to deal with him after the war.

Harry, as a joke, creates a website he calls the "Hunter Kill Count" which ranks every hunter in the world and the site takes off.

Sometime later, Harry learns of a stranded angel by the name of Anna, and takes her to Gabriel for sanctuary. This leads to the question of why Harry can pick up on angel chatter, as they have no idea who his angelic half belongs to, leading to a short trip to the past where Harry finally takes his NEWTs. It is there that he finds out that Gabriel had been at Hogwarts before...as James Potter, his father. With this new information, Harry realizes that the killing curse threw Gabriel out of his vessel and gave him partial amnesia, while explaining why the two had gotten along so easily.

When the angels take note of the increased activity, Harry returns to his own time and very little changes between the recently discovered Father/Son duo, even though cambions are usually killed on sight by angels.

Harry also discovers his animagus form, which is a bi-winged alicorn with a golden pelt.

When Harry goes to help Dean with Sam's addiction to demon's blood, he is captured and ends up fulfilling both prophecies at the same time by killing Lilith and dragging Voldemort to hell with him, where his father's grace protects him from the demons awaiting him.

In Hell, Harry finds six Grace Vials, all that remains of an angel's grace when an angel falls into Lucifer's domain...including Lucifer's grace, which was lost when he fell into hell.

Upon his return, Harry notes that the relationship between the Winchester brothers has frayed and is stuck rescuing Dean from Zachariah's scheme to make him say yes to Micheal when he is trapped in an alternate future that had happened a while ago. When they return from that future, Gabriel comes clean to Castiel and the Winchester brothers about what was really going on and what would happen. Because of the fact he dragged Voldemort to hell when he had the other two Hallows, Harry is the unofficial Master of Death until Death rises from the pit and they are able to complete his ring to send Lucifer back down to his cage.

Harry has achieved what Gabriel calls a 'partial ascension' due to his rise from the pit of hell without falling, meaning he is more angel than human, despite being Death's current master. Another side effect is that Harry now resembles Gabriel's current vessel more strongly than he does a green-eyed James Potter with a lightning scar, as this scar had been erased upon Voldemort's destruction.

During his first official hunt, Harry stumbles upon a young cambion named Jesse and rescues him before either side finds him and offers the boy sanctuary and training, as well as a new job for his parents and essentially claims Jesse as his own younger brother, having wanted one since he was younger.

In order to deal with Dumbledore once and for all, Harry returns to England and systematically destroys everything tying him to England and 'kills' his Potter identity, no longer wanting anything to do with the sheep that had tried to destroy him from the inside out. He also frees his godfather from an illegal arrest, which had been a trap for 'Harry Potter'. At this point he takes the name Gabriel Winchester Evans as his main identity, and leaves his Harry Potter one behind for good.

Harry has offered to teach the Winchester brothers magic, since their natural cores had been freed from both angelic (Dean) and demonic (Sam) influences. The brothers are currently going through all seven years of magical education.

A few months in, Sam and Dean are called by a former hunter to a psychiatric hospital for a hunt...only Bree forces them to get out some long seated issues before they go as a precaution, leading to open counseling sessions for every hunter where they can safely vent.

Bree is confronted by Zachariah and with the assistance of Gabriel banishes the angel to heaven until he learns his lesson. He is later confronted by Lucifer but leaves before anything really happens.

Bree and Sam, tired of the unspoken tension between Castiel and Dean, lock them in an angel proof room for a week.

After Dean and Castiel finally resolve their unspoken tension, Zachariah tries to kill both brothers by murdering their parents in the past, sparking a race to get to Mary and John first...there was one catch though. Bree finally learns the identity of the hunter who saved his life during the incident with the Wendigo that set him on the path of a hunter...it was himself!

Upon his return to the present, Bree comes down with a mysterious illness caused by close proximity to Death using Necromancy. While the situation is resolved easily enough by the brothers, his condition forces Gabriel to smash one of the Grace Vials which sends Bree straight to Heaven...where Zachariah is waiting for him.

It is in Heaven that they get confirmation that God cannot act until after this spat between Micheal and Lucifer is over, and that Bree's status as Gabriel's son is actually the doing of Fate. Bree is also surprised to learn that while he is allowed into Heaven, he will never find peace until his task is completed. In this case, putting an end to Lucifer so that he is either dead or sealed away forever as the incomplete seal had forced both God and Fate to 'reset' the world multiple times already.

In Heaven, Bree also comes face-to-face with his dead mother, Lily Evans. She is less than happy to learn the real reason why she had yet to see James since they died together.

Soon after his return from Heaven, they encounter the Whore of Babylon, which lead to Castiel telling them that there had been countless Walkers in history, though Bree was the first one who was only half angel and half human. Bree also settles on a name to go by when disguised as an angel and decided to call himself Kibeth after the character from one of his favorite series. Castiel is less than happy that he has to seal Bree's grace temporarily, as such a thing is normally against the rules because Bree is a higher class of angel compared to Castiel.

A few weeks later Adam Winchester, Sam and Dean's younger half brother, is resurrected by the angels as a stand-in since Dean refuses to agree to be Micheal's vessel. Bree takes Dean's place using polyjuice and attempts to help rescue Adam, only to nearly be captured by Micheal who takes Adam by force.

Bree's power as the Walker kicks into full gear, sending him back to the initial try at sealing Lucifer back in the Pit permanently and he must now make his way through the various alternates until he finds his own time line once more.

And now, back to our story...


	2. Canon Alternate, Changing Channels

_**Canon Universe, set during 'Changing Channels'**_

Bree woke up in a familiar warehouse...it was the one his dad had used to make Dean and Sam go through all those old shows. Then again he had been watching reruns all week, so it wasn't that odd.

Bree popped his head in and noticed something odd.

Sam and Dean were way too tense around Loki, like they expected him to attack them or something. He listened to what they were saying and realized that this wasn't his reality, but that of one long past...one where Gabriel hadn't revealed himself early. Seeing Sam there gave Bree an idea, and a few snaps later he was ready.

This was going to be good!

Everyone paused in the 'interrogation' of the rogue arch angel when they heard a strange wheezing sound. Sammy looked around in confusion...and recognition. No matter how he denied it, he was a nerd enough to recognize the sound of a T.A.R.D.I.S. coming in when he heard it.

Near where the door was, a familiar blue telephone box from Britain appeared.

"No way," said Sam in shock. When the door opened another thing popped out at them. He looked _exactly_ like David Tennant, the guy who played the 10th Doctor in the series, right down to his wardrobe. Sam looked past him inside the box and it was exact down to the last detail from the show. He could even see the sonic screwdriver lying on the console.

"Sammy, who is that?" asked Dean in confusion.

"I can't be! _Doctor Who_ is just a show!" said Sam almost in denial.

"Sorry about that! Fell asleep while the ship was on random!" said Bree cheerfully, his British accent genuine enough to give Sam and Dean flashbacks of a certain thief.

"Do you mind buddy? We're in the middle of something!" said Dean, not trusting him one bit.

"Don't mind me, it's not as if the end of the world relies on two muttonheads riding a puke green Impala," said Bree.

"It's black," said Dean automatically.

"Not from what my screen told me," said Bree. Neither brother noticed the snap from inside his coat.

Dean paled and raced outside.

"MY BABY!"

Sam caught a glimpse of puke green before the door closed.

"You know he's going to kill you right?" said Sam to the Trickster. Gabriel hadn't told them his real name, but he was enjoying the show either way.

"Wasn't my doing," said Gabriel far too cheerfully. Dean's reaction had been hilarious.

"I don't care if you are an angel! You're a deep-fried one as far as I'm concerned!" shouted Dean when he came back in.

Bree cackled openly.

"It wasn't him!" he said, unable to maintain his transformation. Everyone blinked at the sudden appearance of a much younger Trickster.

"There's _TWO _of you?" said Dean in horror.

"Name's Bree. Sorry, couldn't resist pranking you. Talk about uptight about your precious car!" snickered Bree.

"What are you?" demanded Dean, his gun aimed at Bree. He was going to shoot him either way, but he wanted to know if Bree would live through it.

"Can't tell ya. But I do have one question for you Loki...why are you so dead-set on the idjit brothers to play their parts when they just have to get three more rings and a stone in order to seal Lucy back in the pit permanently?" asked Bree.

"What?" said Sam.

"Well the only way to stop this is to either A, say yes to the two stubborn brothers, or B, find all four rings of the horsemen and the stone Death hid in human hands and seal Lucifer back into the pit forever."

"There's a way to stop them without saying yes? Why the hell haven't we heard about this?!" said Dean.

"Because it requires someone stupid enough to face all four horsemen and who isn't afraid of flying," said Bree with a grin.

"Why flying?" asked Sam.

"The stone is in Britain, though you would have to disguise yourself as a witch in order to find it," said Bree.

Gabriel snorted.

"What's so funny?" asked Dean.

"The reason no one mentioned it is because it's unlikely anyone would be able to find the stone. Death set it loose among mortals long before he had been sealed, and not even the angels know where it is," he said.

"Don't play the idiot Gabriel. Every angel knows about the Hallows, but no one bothered to make the connection," said Bree.

"Gabriel. As in the arch angel?" said Sam.

"This idjit got tired of seeing Micheal and Lucy fight all the time and bailed. The only reason he even bothers with you two is because you're the vessels, and he wants the fighting to be over with already. It never even occurred to him that all you would have to do is go to Britain and ask for the Master of Death to get the stone that Death took from his ring," said Bree.

"Oh please, like they could possibly find Potter with Dean here terrified of planes," said Gabriel.

"Who said they had to fly?" asked Bree.

"Only an angel or a magical could teleport them that far without a plane, and I don't see Castiel being stupid enough to take them that far," said Gabriel.

Bree rolled his eyes. Then he looked at Dean.

"I assume you remember the trip that ass Zachariah put you through where the Croatoan virus was set loose? That becomes fact without the stone, even if you neither of you say yes. If you continue on as you have been, Adam will be revived and Sam will throw himself and your half brother into the pit to seal Lucifer, but without Death's ring being completed, the seal will be incomplete and he will break free and set the virus loose. Micheal will be sealed in the pit, which was why your future self was never able to agree to be his vessel...he couldn't escape from the pit as easily as Lucifer had," said Bree.

"Wait, you're saying that unless we get this stone, we can't stop Lucifer?

"Death took it off his ring, which was the central key to sealing Lucifer back in the pit. The stone itself is in the hands of a wizard, but not one you can just walk up and kill. If you were to explain why you need the stone and what is going on, he will help you. He's got this little issue that has gotten him into more trouble than it's worth for years," said Bree dismissively.

"This is insane! There's no way these two muttonheads will find the other horsemen and Death's Stone without getting killed or accepting either of my brothers!" said Gabriel

"They won't find the horsemen, the horsemen will find them. All they have to do is follow the signs, and it will lead them to a general area. Remember, Lucifer_ wants_ Sam to say yes, and by extension so do most of the Horsemen. They'll be drawn to the idjits like you to sugar," said Bree. He then remembered something.

"Oh, and bring Castiel back. He's not as annoying as the rest of your brothers, even if his quest to find god was doomed to fail."

"What?" said Dean.

"His quest to find god was doomed to fail. Because this is about free will, God can't interfere, so he quit caring. Even if you _did_ find him, and that's a massive if, he can't help you. Luckily Fate it seems wants the humans to have their own ace against the two idiot arch angels, so they sent an equalizer."

"And who would that be?" said Gabriel crossly. Bree tossed him a chocolate bar to calm him down.

"Me."

"What can a Trickster do?" said Dean dismissively.

"Why don't you ask Castiel who the Walking Man is, and watch his reaction," countered Bree. Suddenly Gabriel choked on his chocolate.

Sam and Dean looked at Gabriel, beating his chest to clear out the errant candy.

"What's up with him?" asked Dean. Gabriel brought Castiel back, if only to have someone to share his shock with.

"Gabriel," said Cas.

"Cas, who's the Walking man?" asked Sam.

"He's out too?" said Castiel is horror.

"Who's the Walking Man?"

"God and Fate's greatest equalizer. If something is badly out of control, such as Lucifer going rampant or a demon who the hunters haven't killed, then the Walker is chosen to reset the scales. The last time he was out, Germany burned," said Castiel with a shudder.

"Oi. I am not that evil. Britain might burn, but that's only out of spite," said Bree annoyed.

Castiel looked at Bree and winced.

"You are the newest Walker aren't you?" he said.

"Fate's avatar in the world of the mortals, at your service. I'm here to correct a few things and hopefully find my way home."

"What do you mean 'your way home'?" asked Gabriel, having cleared the chocolate out of his throat.

"I'm not from this time line. Because the seal was incomplete, Lucifer ran rampant and fate became pissed off so they 'reset' the clock as it were with a few minor corrections. Basically the world was destroyed and brought back 134 times after this and you never really beat Lucifer because no one gave you the right information," shrugged Bree.

"So what, we should just sit up and die?" asked Dean.

"I never said that. I said the world ended repeatedly because no one told you everything that you needed to know. I'm fairly sure Fate sent me back this far to correct that and all the other bad endings...at least that's the only thing I can think of to explain why you two don't even know who the Master of Death is."

That seemed to relax Dean and Sam a bit. They were tired of not getting all the facts from the people around them.

"For instance, no one explained to you two idjits that the Colt has a bad habit of not working on arch angels, even former ones."

"What?" said Dean.

"The Colt won't work on Lucifer," said Bree patiently.

"Why?"

"Partly because he's a former arch angel, but mostly because he would overpower it. It can kill any demon, but angels are a hit and miss depending on their power levels. Oh and next time you see that douche Zachariah, do me a favor and kick him in the balls. I have a score to settle with that arrogant prick," said Bree with far too much enthusiasm. Dean looked equally eager to fulfill that request.

Bree snapped his fingers, releasing Gabriel from the circle before he remade the T.A.R.D.I.S. and prepared to leave.

"If you can do that much, can't you just poof off and vanish like Cas?" asked Dean.

"Well yeah, but this is way more fun. Besides, aren't you tired of people popping in without a warning?" asked Bree at the door.

Sam gave him a thumbs up. Dean saw that and said "Nerds."

Bree couldn't help his shot back at him "Grease monkey."

Sam snorted.

The fake T.A.R.D.I.S. wheezed into life and slowly vanished to the confusion of Cas and amusement of Gabriel.

_**Okay, there is the first one-shot of Walker and the initial work of Bree. I will write out which alternate Bree is in as the chapter title until he gets back home.**_


	3. Canon Alternate, My Bloody Valentine

_**Canon Universe, "My Bloody Valentine"**_

Sam and Dean were on the road into town, as they found two people who literally ate themselves to death. Ever since the warehouse they had been keeping an eye out for the Walker, as Cas called him. He seemed to be the only being willing to give them a straight up answer without dragging it out.

About the only thing they'd found was the mysterious "Monkey Magic Hotline", which had appeared shortly after their father's death. According to the grapevine it was the best place to find answers to problems, demonic or not.

They had only heard good things about it from Bobby, who had called it once and gotten some genuine info on how to kill hellhounds.

Rumor had it that the research monkey (what hunters called those too cowardly to actually take up hunting as a profession) was a closet shut-in who had an encounter with a demon.

Another rumor said that the one who ran the service could read and speak angel glyphs, but that was unconfirmed.

It was after the second double suicide that Dean decided to put that rumor to the test.

"_Welcome to the Monkey Magic Hotline, your source for all Hunter info on how to kill things demonic and supernatural! How may I help you?"_ came the cheerful voice over the phone. It was the pre-recorded message that somewhat annoyed hunters. Next came a list of options, which somewhat made sense considering it helped the guy figure out what they needed so he could send it to them fast. Dean quickly pressed five for 'other' and got something most hunters didn't get. The voice of the operator.

"_Hello, Monkey Magic to the rescue~! What info do you need?"_

Dean somewhat recognized the voice, but couldn't place it.

"We have possible angel sigils on a heart we need translating."

Then something happened that nearly gave him a heart attack of his own.

"_Hello Dean! I was wondering if you would ever call!"_

"How do you know my name?"Dean demanded.

"_Hold on...it's easier to explain if I come to you first."_

Sam looked up from the organs he was looking at when he heard the sound of the T.A.R.D.I.S. appearing. To his minor disappointment the famous blue box didn't appear, but a familiar face did, even if they had only seen it once.

"You have got to be kidding me. _You're_ Monkey Magic?" said Dean.

It was the Walker.

"Bree at your service. My nickname before I was called Bree is Monkey Magic, because I'm a research monkey who happens to be magical. So what do you two need?"

"Uh, we found some angel sigils on these hearts and wanted to test if you could really read them," said Sam after he got over his shock.

"Let's see... the angel sigil for 'union' commonly associated with cupids. What were the circumstances for their deaths?" he asked Sam.

"Double suicide. One couple ate each other, the other shot themselves," said Dean.

"You're dealing with Famine, which is a bad thing because one of the hungers he can awaken is addiction," said Bree looking at Sam pointedly.

"Wait, you mean a horsemen caused this?"

"Yeah, and while I doubt he can affect you Dean, Sam might find his addiction to demon's blood come back too strongly to ignore. The only way to keep your brother from hunting down demons in town is to have someone with him at all times," said Bree flatly.

"Shit."

"Don't worry Dean, I can handle any demons sent to capture Sam...but you will need back-up," said Bree.

"What makes you think I would trust you with my brother?" said Dean.

"One, the only addiction I've ever had is to research, which considering what I do to earn cash is a good thing. Two, I don't have any demon's blood in me which means Sam won't be inclined to go all Dracula on me. And three, do you really think Bobby would be able to handle demons better than the Walker can?" asked Bree.

"You're not a demon?" said Sam.

"I'm a cambion like Jesse, only unlike him I didn't have any demon parents."

"Well if you're not a demon-blood what the hell are you?"

"Something one-of-a-kind. An angelic cambion. Rarely happens cause the angels tend to kill the mother, but I got off lucky because Fate already had me under a prophecy. They can't kill prophecy children until after it's been completed, and by that time it was too late."

"That's it, I'm calling Cas," said Dean.

Dean swore when Castiel appeared, cell phone still in hand.

"You have got to quit doing that! A little warning would be appreciated!" said Dean.

"Why do you think I always play the T.A.R.D.I.S. sound when I show up?" cackled Bree.

"What is he doing here?" asked Cas.

"They called to see if I could really read and speak Enochian. Famine is using a cherub's work to kill people," said Bree.

"How do you know the cupid hasn't gone rogue?"

"Well it has all the handiwork of Famine, but if you want to be sure..." said Bree, inwardly handled his evil laughter.

He knew it was Famine, but the blackmail he could get from a cupid's "handshake" was too funny to resist.

Thank god for video phones.

* * *

><p>"You knew, didn't you?" said Dean with a scowl at Bree.<p>

"Hell yes I knew! You think I would pass up seeing the look on your face when Cupid hugged you without any clothes on?" said Bree, unconcerned about the fact he had been hugged first from behind.

"I hate you," said Dean flatly.

"Not as much as you will when I tell you who you're fate-bonded to!" snickered Bree.

"I can't believe you thought you could break an angel's nose!" laughed Bree.

"What the hell is this about a fate-bond? What is that anyway?" asked Dean.

"A fate-bond means that you were doomed to fall for each other from the start. Fate, unlike heaven, doesn't bother to interfere directly but rather sets up the circumstances for a bond to happen naturally. Cupids tend to avoid people with a fate bond because interference from heaven might cause a war," answered Castiel.

"Or it might just make you more attracted to each other than normal," said Bree.

"And you're saying I have one of those?" said Dean.

"Yup. It's one that has been repeated each reset from what I understand, but half the time you're too stubborn to admit to it," said Bree.

"Who is it?" asked Sam.

"I'll tell you later, trust me, it will make you laugh," said Bree.

* * *

><p>Bree changed into Dean to walk with Sam, who was going to investigate another weird death.<p>

"So who is Dean fate-bound to?" asked Sam in the car.

"Castiel," said Bree. Sam stumbled.

"_Cas_ is his fate-bond?" said Sam.

"Like I said, he was too stubborn to see it himself. Castiel found Dean in fifteen minutes after he tortured his sixty-sixth soul in hell. The only way he could have done that is if they had a fate-bond and heaven noticed it, or if the angels had been in hell looking for him. Why don't you ask Castiel why he had been the one to bring Dean up from hell and not someone else," said Bree.

"But Dean isn't gay!" said Sam.

"Who said you had to be gay? Fate-bonds don't care about gender, only about compatibility. Besides, I'm fairly sure Dean is bi considering he was checking out Loki's ass on the way out of that warehouse anyway," said Bree.

"Dean was checking out..." said Sam in disbelief.

"Try watching him when Cas is around and not hiding under the trench coat."

"But Cas never takes off that coat!" said Sam.

"I plan to swipe it later," said Bree grinning.

"You've set them up before haven't you?" said Sam suspiciously when they exited the building.

"Hell yes I did! Locked their asses in a panic room for a week with food and shower! I even doused Dean through the turkey with low-level lust potions just so he could claim that it was the potion that made him jump Cas!" said Bree.

"Low-level lust potions?" said Sam.

"Low-levels are more of a pick-me-up for guys and the occasional girl. They're easy to ignore but they're like alcohol in that they lower certain inhibitions to the point where you just don't care about the consequences anymore. Much less dangerous than love potions to be honest."

"How are lust potions less dangerous than love?" asked Sam.

"Love potions create fake love and are the equivalent of date rape drugs if you use a strong enough potency. Lust potions can be ignored easily if you have enough control, like say if you were locked in a room with a guy and you happened to be straight, or a girl if you happened to be gay. If Dean really were straight, he wouldn't be effected when locked in the room with Cas. Considering the smell that room had when we let them out, it was pretty damn obvious that Dean had jumped Cas," said Bree.

"And if you're bi?" asked Sam.

"Then it's a toss-up on whether or not you find the other person to your liking. If you dislike them as a person strongly enough then the potions won't be nearly as effective."

They stopped long enough to hear the cause of death, which only confirmed it for Bree, not that he had any doubts.

Sam noticed a demon leaving the building and Bree did a rather interesting maneuver that landed his blade in the demon's gut, killing him instantly. Sam stared at the blood before Bree snapped his fingers, removing it from sight.

"Why aren't you a hunter?" Sam asked, once his breathing was back to normal.

"Who said I'm not? The Monkey Magic Hotline is on a special cell phone and all the information I find relevant or good lands on a file in my computer. I'm always on the move, hunting things out of boredom. How did you think my service landed on the hunter's list of people to call for help so quickly?" asked Bree.

"But the date said right after our dad died!" said Sam.

Bree snorted.

"Time travel is possible for angels, and I'm enough of one to pull it off. That was just to catch your attention," said Bree.

"Let's head back to the hotel," said Sam. Bree teleported them there, without the noise.

* * *

><p>"What's in the briefcase?" asked Dean.<p>

"Human soul, probably," said Bree.

Cas appeared after they opened it, burgers in hand. Bree was almost tempted to dose them with lust potions so he and Dean could get that tension out of the way once and for all.

Dean looked at Cas oddly for a moment.

"Where's your coat?" asked Dean.

"It went missing without warning while I procured some red meat," said Cas calmly.

Dean noticed Sam looking at him funny and said "What?"

"Not telling," said Sam. Seemed Bree wasn't joking about his brother being bi after all.

"I'll stay with Sam while you go with Cas," said Bree.

"If anything happens to my brother, you're a dead man," said Dean.

"Yeah, yeah...go be with your pretty boy angel while I hold down the fort," snorted Bree.

* * *

><p>Sam was almost to the point of begging when the demons came to grab him. Bree snarled and killed them before he vanished the bodies. He didn't want to tempt Sam any further.<p>

"You know you could have learned how to control that damn power of yours without resorting to demon's blood, idjit!" said Bree.

"What?"

"You could have learned to exorcise demons without demon's blood a long time ago if you hadn't been so damn mopey without Dean for a few months! Ruby never bothered to give you the real method of learning because she wanted you hopped up on demon's blood," said Bree.

"Can you show me?" asked Sam. He felt useless without that power.

"I can travel with you two for a while and give you the proper method to do it, but right now we need to help Dean. I can keep your addiction at bay long enough to defeat Famine, but I really hate doing this," said Bree.

"What are you..." said Sam before Bree cut his arm and put it in a plastic cup.

"Don't bitch about it, just drink it. Angel's blood, even if it's only partial, is more than enough to negate the effects of demon's blood and it's not as addicting. Plus it will prove to your idjit brother that I'm not a demon," said Bree as an afterthought.

Sam looked at the cup dubiously, before he downed it in a single gulp. His eyes widened in shock when he realized that Bree wasn't joking. If he really were a demon he would have felt a power boost by now.

"I can't feel my addiction," said Sam.

"Because you just sated it, even temporarily. All that bitch did was give you 'blood addiction'. She made you a partial vampire, only you were set to demon's blood instead of human. Angel blood is the perfect counter to it," said Bree.

"Is there any way to cure it?" asked Sam.

"I might have a temporary method, but I don't know about a permanent. Let's go save Dean," said Bree.

* * *

><p>"Sam!" cried Dean.<p>

Bree snuck behind Famine and cut off his hand. The ring clattered to the floor and Famine vanished.

"Sam, are you...is that blood I smell?" asked Dean.

"I gave him some of mine. Angel's blood, even if it is diluted, can counter 'blood addiction', which is what Sam has. And it's not as addicting as demon's blood. I might have a trick to keeping Sam from falling off the wagon, though it will take a bit to get ready," said Bree.

"Is he telling the truth?" asked Dean to Cas.

"I have no idea. No human has ever taken angel's blood as a cure to demons," said Castiel.

"We used it in my time line. It seemed to keep Sam from falling off the wagon," said Bree.

* * *

><p>A week later Bree appeared and dropped off a box of what appeared to be suckers.<p>

"What are these?" asked Dean, reaching for one.

"Blood pops, filled with angel's blood instead of humans. It's considered a joke treat to humans and candy to vampires who don't feel like hunting. The next time Sam comes near demon's blood, all he has to do is pop one of these into his mouth and wait for the sugar to fade and he'll have angel's blood in him. Think of it like nicotine gums for smokers."

"What?" said Dean.

"Here Sam try one," said Bree as he pulled out a jar.

"Is that..." said Sam cautiously.

"Demon's blood, yes. It's to show your brother this actually works," said Bree.

"I'm calling Cas to confirm it," said Dean.

"Go for it."

"Dean what... Why do you have a jar of demon's blood near Sam?" asked Castiel looking at Bree.

"Proving that the blood pops work," said Bree.

Castiel picked on up, and his eyebrows nearly shot to his hair.

"Where did you get this?" he asked.

"I made them. The trick is getting the blood to stay without mingling with the candy," said Bree.

"What's wrong with it?" asked Dean.

"This blood is in the class of an arch angel at the very least. Getting a hold of this should be nearly impossible," said Castiel.

"Not impossible, just a little painful," said Bree, showing his cut.

"Dude, you're in the same class as an arch angel?"

"No, but I have the _blood_ of one in me."

"Which one?" asked Sam.

"Gabriel. And before you ask, this was because of Fate's meddling in _my_ time line and not this one. So pop in a pop and let's test it out!" said Bree impatiently.

Sam took one of the suckers out and popped it in his mouth. A few minutes later Bree undid the seal on the jar of blood and Sam didn't even look at it once. To further prove his point, Bree even handed it to Sam, who's breathing didn't even change.

"It appears that we've found a solution to your brother's addiction," said Castiel.

Dean couldn't help the look of relief he had on his face.

"How much do we owe for this?"

"Nothing. You'll understand why when I finally tell you my full name," said Bree before he vanished, taking the demon's blood with him.


	4. Canon Alternate, No Episode

_**Canon Universe, no episode**_

Sam dialed Bree, wondering when he had the chance to add his number to the contact list of his phone.

"_What's up Sammy?"_

"Were you serious about those lessons?" he asked, wondering how Bree knew it was him without looking up.

"_You want to get started now? How does Dean feel about this?"_

"I told him I could deal with demons without demon's blood and he agreed reluctantly. Castiel seemed surprised I could do that without the amplifier," admitted Sam.

"_And the blood pops?"_

"Still sober. I think Dean trusts you because of it," said Sam.

"_Just to warn you, if I do come over I might just get into a verbal sparring match with your brother."_

"As long as it doesn't come to blows I'm fine with that."

"_...You want me to come by T.A.R.D.I.S. or just come over?"_

"Dude, T.A.R.D.I.S.! How often do you get to see one that actually _works_?"

Bree laughed, and a few minutes later there was a replica of the T.A.R.D.I.S. in the room where no one would bump into it.

Bree popped out with a grin on his face.

"Took me ages, but I was finally able to duplicate the Doctor's ship. Want to come have a look?" grinned Bree.

Sam was off the bed and in the box before the phone dropped on the bed.

* * *

><p>"Sammy? What in the hell?" said Dean, seeing the giant blue box in the room.<p>

He tentatively knocked on the door, and out popped Sam. He could see light from past his brother.

"Hey Dean."

"Sammy, what the hell?" asked Dean.

"Bring him in Sammy! We need another for poker anyway!" came Bree's voice. Sam stepped aside and Dean looked in and blinked.

"What in the hell?"

"Welcome to the T.A.R.D.I.S. or Time And Relative Dimensions In Space. Also called Bree's crib of love~" said Bree smirking.

"Why?" asked Dean, pinching his nose.

"Why not? It's not like there weren't any spells to make my own, plus now I never have to pay for a room. I just park it and I can stroll about town," smirked Bree.

There was a ringing sound from the console, and Bree picked it up.

"Yo, Monkey here! Hellhounds? Ouch. Here's the exorcism I've found works like a charm to dispel them," said Bree. He gave it off a list on his computer, and hung up.

"Wait, this is your house?"

"It was a bitch to hook this all up, but now I never have to worry about angels, demons or ghosts. My own little clubhouse. Plus it has this beer room that never runs out next to a room with all sorts of DVDs," said Bree.

"Lead on," said Dean. He needed a drink anyway. He took one look at the collection of DVDs and locked the door. Sam rolled his eyes knowingly.

"And that takes care of Dean," said Bree with a smirk.

"So back to our lessons then?" asked Sam.

Bree grinned and they sat down in the zen garden Bree had in there. Sam would be the first to admit it put him at peace with himself.

"Okay Sam, remember, in and out."

Sam sat in a comfortable position and began the breathing exercises Bree had taught him. He found it easier to 'see' his power when he did this.

As Bree's voice faded away, Sam didn't even notice Cas appearing since he could no longer sense Dean.

"Hello Cas. If you want to find Dean he's on the hall to the left," said Bree.

Cas gave him a look.

"I know you two are fate-bonded, so don't be ashamed. I mean it's not like a child would come of the pairing," said Bree.

"It's against Heaven's law," said Cas.

"It's frowned upon, but not forbidden. No one would fault you if you acted on your urges to ravish Dean. And if push came to shove, you can tell Micheal the Walker drugged you."

Castiel looked longingly at the door where Dean's familiar presence came from.

"Go on Cas. The lust potion I doused half those beers with should have kicked in, and don't think we didn't see Dean staring at your ass when you didn't have that coat hiding it."

Cas was gone before he finished that sentence, and Bree shot a silencing charm at the area where Dean was. He checked on Sam and found he was a bit too deep into his meditation.

"Sam, when I count to ten, you are going to open your eyes and look at me."

"One...two...three...four...five...six...seven...eight...nine...ten... Sam, open your eyes."

Sam's eyes opened to reveal an expanse of white. It seemed the angel's blood was doing the other thing Bree had experienced with his Sam. It was slowly pushing his natural psychic powers back to where they were supposed to be instead of the channels that Ruby had forced them to go down.

"Can you hear me Sammy?"

"_I can hear you. What's going on?"_ asked Sam. His voice sounded odd.

"One of the side effects of angel's blood is that it erases any presence of demons in the body. Right now your powers are being put where they were supposed to go and not where Ruby forced them to go. I want you to feel your power, can you?"

"_I feel warm. Like a blanket on a cold day,"_ said Sam.

"That would be your natural powers. Memorize the feeling. Can you do that for me?"

Sam closed his eyes and concentrated on the feeling he was in. he needed to be able to remember it when he needed to.

When his breathing evened out, Bree looked in on him again.

"Sam, listen to the sound of my voice. The true way to use your powers isn't focus, but will. When you exorcise demons, you are _willing_ them out of the body. You are matching your will against that of the demon, and telling them that _they do not belong here._ Since angels are stronger than most demons, you will be unable to pull the same stunt with them. Do you understand me?"

"Yes."

"Now, when you awake, we'll be training your powers the correct way, instead of jumping into demon exorcisms. It will be slow and you may have to invest in a lot of tissues and a few blood replenishers, but it will be worth it."

"I understand."

"And if you ever feel the need to jump past our lessons back into your old behavior I want you to call me immediately. Is that clear? You and Dean are stronger as a team than you will ever be apart," said Bree.

Sam slowly woke up from his trance and looked at Bree.

"How do you feel?"

"Better. More at peace."

"Good. Demon's blood has a nasty side effect of increasing testosterone to the point where you become more violent than normal. Angel's blood is a good counter agent, but near impossible to get your hands on."

"You mean all my rage is because of demon's blood?" asked Sam.

"Think of it this way. Every time you take demon's blood, it increases the adrenaline and testosterone in your brain, making you like some biker in a bar fight. You get stronger because of the adrenaline but the testosterone stays present until you can get it out."

"Adrenaline would cause my focus to shoot up, allowing me to use my powers," said Sam.

"Exactly. What I am going to do in order to reverse that rather dangerous trigger is teach you to meditate and give you counseling sessions where you can vent. That should finish off what the angel blood has started, which was take the edge off the addiction."

"Did this help your Sam?"

"Yes it did. He had a great deal to vent, and he said it helped to get it out without having to worry about being locked up or hurting someone. When you have trouble sitting still, we'll move on to movement meditation, where you practice stances while you focus inward. It's a great way to learn how to meditate without having to worry about being jittery," said Bree.

"Sounds like you have experience."

"Learned five martial arts that way, and it helps to learn languages when you're really bored," replied Bree instantly.

"How many do you know?"

"I know fifteen martial arts, and I lost count on the language front. I started learning Latin when I was seven and a half and didn't stop learning new languages because I grew bored easily. I'm a natural linguist."

It was how he picked up Enochian so damn fast. He was used to translating languages.

"Have you seen Dean? I thought I heard someone come in."

"Cas showed up because he couldn't feel Dean and I silenced the room hours ago. Last time I tried to get Dean to open up, he had to get drunk off his ass to do it," said Bree flatly.

"You mean Castiel and Dean are..."

"Dean probably jumped him once those potions took effect, and if anyone asks Cas, I'm to blame. He's the only angel other than Gabriel allowed in here."

* * *

><p>A few hours, long after Sam took Bree on his offer for his own room to design (where he quickly mastered picking things up with his mind) Dean came out looking exhausted.<p>

"Better?" asked Bree innocently.

"You sent Cas in there and I know you did something to the beer," said Dean.

"Lust potions. Just lowered your inhibitions to jump your pretty boy angel," said Bree.

"And Sammy?"

"Fine...probably sleeping off lesson one, but he'll live. By the way, next time Sammy uses his powers and blood starts seeping from his nose, just ignore it. That just means his brain is learning to handle the strain of his natural ability. Eventually it will stop altogether."

Dean looked tired.

"Believe me about fate-bonds now?"

"I need food."

"Shower first, food after. I'll make you something to eat, so get clean. By the way, I'm making that your room. This whole place was based off the concept of a panic room, so demons will never get in, and only the angels keyed to the place would be able to find it, let alone break in."

"And the box?"

"Even if it were destroyed, it was just a partial anchor. It would reappear to the primary anchor."

"Where's the primary anchor?"

Bree innocently pointed at the trunk sitting in the corner.

"The T.A.R.D.I.S. gets destroyed, I find the nearest ley line and kick that out of the door. One charm and the thing pops open, allowing us to escape. Essentially we're in a pocket dimension that's inside the trunk...that box was just a door that leads outside without drawing suspicion. It's actually a doppelganger of the real one."

It had been a real bitch to work this out, but totally worth it as it meant he wouldn't have to keep buying a new house each reset as long as the trunk was around his wrist.

He deserved his own place dammit!

Once Dean came out of the shower (a water rune tied to a heat rune that activated upon contact with skin and a vanishing charm that got rid of the water and whatever else was in there as long as it touched the underside of the plate Dean stood on) and ate, he went to snuggle up to Cas, as the room was set to clean up after them once one of them left it.

Bree didn't like messy rooms. Let alone cleaning up after Dean and Cas after they had been together.


	5. Canon Alternate, Dead Men Don't Wear

_**Canon Universe, "Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid"**_

Dean, Sam and Bree (who was traveling with them out of boredom with his little 'house' on his bracelet) were heading to Bobby's town in Sioux Falls to check on a story where the dead killed the living.

Bree took one step out of the Impala and reared back as if struck by something, or had smelled something foul.

"What's up?" asked Dean.

"This town reeks of Necromancy. Someone's been raising the dead," said Bree coldly. Dean and Sam looked at him oddly...usually he was a cheerful, if insane person. Now he looked rather like an angel or Castiel when he was pissed.

"How do you know it was necromancy?"

"My angel side might be dominant, but what's left of my human heritage is known as the Master of Death. Trust me, I can sense death magic in a heartbeat. And right now there's a shit load of it in the air over the town. Not of human origin, and it has the taint of demon without it actually being demonic."

Dean and Sam were about to go in posing as FBI, but Bree stopped them.

"Hold on while I trick Bobby into answering," said Bree.

"What?"

"He's not answering either of you, but he'll pick up those phones with labels on them. If he won't answer you the normal way we'll just trick him."

"And since he's never actually _heard_ your voice enough to recognize it..." said Sam, getting the idea.

Bree patiently called Bobby's "FBI" phone and waited. Sure enough, Bobby was there.

"Bobby Singer, are you aware that this town reeks of Death? Or that your wife will turn on you in less than a week?" said Bree flatly.

"_Who is this?"_ demanded Bobby.

"You'll find out out soon enough idjit!" said Bree angrily. Last time he had spent days sick to his stomach from this shit and had ended up in heaven because Gabriel had been forced to break a Grace Vial. He had developed a tolerance but his patience dropped like a stone.

* * *

><p>"Dammit Bobby, why didn't you call us?" demanded Dean.<p>

"Because he wanted to believe it was her. Her body will begin to turn in four more days at least, and by that time the rest will have started. I won't force you to kill your wife early Bobby, but at least allow me to insure she is never used like this again," said Bree.

"Why should I trust you?" demanded Bobby, though he was highly tempted to agree to it.

Bree did something neither Winchester had seen before. He unleashed his wings.

"Because I can make sure that demons will never be able to force your wife Karen from her place in heaven, even if I have to sacrifice a Grace Vial to do it. It's cruel to her and to you to keep bringing her shadow back, and I plan to shoot Lucifer in the balls for forcing Death to do it. He hates necromancy even more than I do," said Bree.

"Death was forced by Lucifer?" asked Sam.

"Death is the oldest being in existence, and he exists to keep a balance. He would never use necromancy unless he was forced to do by someone else, in this case Lucifer who controls the horsemen. None of them want to be told what to do, but they put up with it because they didn't like being stuck in the pit all the time. Your wife and all the others were brought back because they wanted to kill you Bobby," said Bree.

Bobby looked old, older than the brothers had ever seen at this announcement.

"You swear she'll never be used like this again?"

"Her soul will be at peace in heaven, and if she ever does show up it will be a fake," promised Bree.

Karen had been listening the whole time.

"What do I need to do?" she asked.

"When the turning starts, I'll be with Bobby and take your soul directly to heaven. I'll place a lock on it there so demons can't use you to kill Bobby ever again, and this time your passing will be more peaceful instead of a bullet to the head," promised Bree.

"You remembered?" said Bobby.

"I remember everything, including the last time I was raised. I didn't want you to know," she admitted.

"She can stay until the turning. Then I have to take her to heaven," said Bree.

"Thank you. Who the hell are you anyway?"

Bree grinned and did a perfect recreation of his hotline voice.

"You're Monkey Magic?"

"I'm a research monkey who uses magic. Do I really need to explain more?"

"What's your real name?" asked Bobby.

"Everyone calls me Bree for short. You sure you want to know my full name since I 'killed' my original?"

Every hunter nodded.

"It's Gabriel. Gabriel Winchester. Just to be clear though, you two idjits adopted me into the family, unlike Adam."

* * *

><p>Bree was by Bobby's side the entire time Karen was turning. When she was about to attack Bobby, Bree placed his hand on her soul and pulled it out. He said something in Enochian and vanished.<p>

Bobby cried at the loss of his wife, though at least this time he knew she would be safe in heaven.

He managed to get to the panic room where he bolted the door before the other undead came after him, as Bree had warned him earlier that they would seek him out. It took Dean and Sam an hour to put down the lot.

Bree came back shortly after with good news at least.

"I put Karen with my birth parents from this world. She'll be safer there than anywhere near her own slice of heaven until Bobby comes to her. The only way they would be able to find her now is if they looked for the 'parents of Gabriel Winchester', and since neither John or Mary are mine they'll have no idea where to look."

"Is she happy?"

"My parents were good people in life, and like Sam my mother died to protect me from a madman. She'll be fine until you pass on and join her and by that time she won't need protecting because you'll be there with her," said Bree.

Bobby looked relieved at that news.

"Now, I do believe we all need a very strong drink...unless you would like to visit Castiel for a while Dean?" said Bree with an evil smirk.

Bobby looked at Sam who was trying not to laugh.

"Drink first, then I'll consider your suggestion," said Dean flatly. He had long since come to terms with the fate-bond.

Dean was horrified when Bree started singing an Irish song while dead drunk. He _hated_ folk music!

Sam and Bobby just looked like they wanted to laugh.

Eventually they went to bed, Bree claiming the panic room out of habit.

"Why do I get the feeling I'll be seeing that idjit angel-kid a lot more from know on?" asked Bobby to Sam.

"Because he's been around you enough before to have picked up your way of saying idiot," said Sam.

* * *

><p>Bree woke up to hear the ironic parody of the song "Hero" to answer his phone.<p>

"What do you want demon?"

"_Tell the Winchester morons I have the Colt and I'll melt it down unless they agree to unload it in Lucifer's face,"_ said Crowley. The only reason he knew Crowley was because the demon had introduced himself while he was out getting some proper British tea in this time line. Unlike the rest of the demons Bree had encountered, he was more interested in _helping_ the Walker kill Lucifer.

That was the only reason he had given Bree his phone number. He seemed to find Bree's choice in ringtones rather amusing.

"Crowley, I have a hang over and that Colt isn't even worth shit against Lucifer. The damn thing isn't strong enough...besides all it has is a bunch of spells to let you aim straight and actually _hit_ the thing you're shooting at!"

"_What?"_

"I looked at the Colt once the see what the big deal about it and found that someone's been making a bunch of hype about the gun and not the bullets. Try looking at what each bullet was made with and call me back!" said Bree flatly, wincing.

Crowley hung up and Bree went to find a hangover remedy. Bobby was already up, and his eyebrow raised when heard the song "Villain" playing from Bree's pocket.

"I told you dammit, the Colt wouldn't be worth shit against Lucifer! Yes I checked before, and all it did was piss him off! ...I already know about the horsemen's rings, who did you think tipped off the idiot brothers? You owe me chocolate for this Crowley!"

Bree covered his eyes to shut out the light, and accepted the coffee...spiked with Holy Water of course after Bobby heard that last bit.

"Gah! Hot, hot, hot!" he cried before rummaging for pain reliever.

"How do you know Crowley?"

"He ran into me and said point blank he was interested in a deal to get rid of Lucifer. I told him to fuck off, and then he told me why he didn't plan on killing me for that comment. So long as he isn't exposed helping us and we off Lucifer or seal him away in a cage he can never break free from, he gets to be King of Hell. In exchange he'll owe us one...which would be more than enough to free John Winchester from hell's influence and send him to heaven."

"John's in hell?" said Bobby.

"He made a demon deal, and they hate him with a passion. About the only thing that would free him is angelic influence or whoever rules Hell letting him out."

Bree downed the rest of the coffee and then headed off. He had established a place at Bobby's by freeing his wife from any new demonic influence and keeping her safe in heaven. Now he needed to expand his own knowledge since he had long since read any books Bobby had in his house.


	6. Canon Alternate No Episode

_**Canon Universe, no episode...but it does have a lot of pranks**_

"DAMMIT BREE, KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY PHONE!" yelled Dean after his phone went off after Sammy called him. Sam was asking what was wrong.

Bree cackled from inside his little box, which Dean had placed a sign over saying "Bree's Lair" as a joke yesterday which Bree had either not noticed or didn't care about.

He still had trouble believing that Bree had an entire house inside a giant blue box with a little light thing on top of it. At the very least they never had to rent another room on the highway again.

Sam came back five minutes later looking very confused...until someone rang Dean (Bobby) and he heard the song 'Macho Man' playing on Dean's phone. Suddenly the yell made sense.

Someone called Sam's and his eyebrows went up in shock as the song 'Barbie Girl' started playing.

"I am going to kill him!" said Dean.

"Why?"

"Did you _hear_ that ringtone? He's done it with everyone on speed dial!"

"Which one is mine?" asked Sam.

Dean refused to speak of it but Sam called Dean. The song that played was the _Doctor Who_ theme song.

Sam blinked.

"What's so bad about that?"

"I'm not a damn nerd like you!" said Dean.

"Speaking of nerds, Sam could you come in here for a minute?" said Bree with a mischievous wink.

Sam went in, and five seconds later Dean was cursing after Bree tossed a scroll at his head and the box in the room vanished.

He unwrapped it to find:

"_Dean,_

_Figured Sam could use some cheering up after his nightmare last night so I'm kidnapping him for the day. Have fun with your free time, we'll be back by morning and I'll kidnap you next._

_Bree._

_P.S. I only changed ten of your contacts, have fun searching which ones!"_

"DAMN YOU BREE!"

While he was glad Bree was doing something to cheer Sam up, he just wished that Bree hadn't pranked him before he did it. Then he saw the state of the Impala's interior.

It looked like some horror from the sixties, complete with disco ball! Dean growled.

* * *

><p>"Bree, is this what I think it is?" said Sam, his eyes alight.<p>

"If you're asking did I just kidnap you and drag you to _Who Con,_ then the answer is a most definite yes, yes I did. I have David Tennant's outfit and everything you would need to cosplay at him. Now, if you excuse me I'm going to change into a Weeping Angel."

Sam was gone and into his costume within five minutes. He loved Doctor Who!

"Dude, nice costume!" said another fan who looked like the tenth Doctor.

Another dressed as Matt Smith grinned and gave Sam a thumbs up.

"_Exterminate, Exterminate!" _said Bree walking up in his weeping angel costume. The two convention guys looked at him and gave him two thumbs up for his flawless Dalek impersonation.

Sam and Bree cruised around the stalls, picking up a few items, particularly every season of the Doctor Who series for Sam since he was still on season four of the current one. Bree was happy to pay for it since Sam agreed to a movie marathon once they had a chance.

They had a blast and Sam got to have one night in which the girls weren't falling over him and Dean because of their looks. Though he did have to deal with Bree laughing at him because a girl who was dressed as Rose tried to pick him up.

People kept asking him where he got the realistic sonic screwdriver, to his amusement and he quickly got back at Bree by diverting them to the cambion. Surprisingly Bree had a steady business selling the sonic screwdrivers (the ones intended for muggle distribution anyway) to the fans, since it meant he could make back what he spent on the DVD sets.

Besides, _Who Con_ lasted for a week, and he had paid for all the good stuff anyway for both him and Sam.

"Hey Bree?"

"Yeah Sam?"

"Thanks. I needed something to distract me from this Apocalypse business," said Sam. Spending a week at _Who Con_ with Bree had been relaxing, and he got to unwind for the first time since Jessica died.

"I plan to dump Dean and his baby at a classic muscle car convention and leave him there until it's over. Think he'll forgive me for the prank?"

"Probably. You know Dean loves cars."

"And he needs a few days off every once and a while too. ...Hey look, a wizard! I've got to go say hi!" said Bree grinning. He went up to the obvious magical and wasn't surprised that the man was there to keep an eye out for magical sonic screwdrivers. The American Ministry both hated and loved sci-fi conventions, especially popular ones.

They loved them because they tended to help magicals create new spells and ideas, but they hated them because it was damn near impossible to catch muggle abuse.

"So how do you think Dean is doing?" asked Sam after Bree came back.

"He's with Castiel who's disguised as you. Said he'll meet us at Bobby's...I didn't bother to ask what he planned to do with five states between here and Bobby's house," said Bree. Sam took the hint and grinned.

"It's about damn time Dean found someone who wouldn't hurt him."

"More like it's about time he came out of the damn closet," said Bree. Sam snickered.

* * *

><p>Bree and Sam had great pleasure dumping water on both Castiel and Dean when they returned, since Bree had come in silently. Dean woke up with a shout and Cas didn't look too happy either.<p>

"What the hell?"

"Wakey wakey princess!" cackled Bree while Sam laughed beside him.

"Screw you."

"Sorry, looks like you'll have to ask Cas for that! Besides, I have never screwed someone, but I have been screwed over plenty of times," said Bree.

Dean looked at him suspiciously.

"You can't mean to tell me you've never been laid _once_ in your entire life."

"Not even a hint of it, aside from hugs or kissing," said Bree.

"We are getting you laid. You too Sammy, since you went to a nerd convention for a week."

Sam looked away.

"Sammy here managed to pick up _four_ different nerd hotties, and only one left without doing anything."

He neglected to add most of them were dressed as either Rose, Amy Pond, or a very credible Martha Jones. The first girl declined to do anything because she found someone more interesting.

"Sammy, you dog!" said Dean pleased.

"So how was traveling with your boy-toy?" asked Bree.

"Shaddup virgin!" said Dean.

"Grease Monkey!"

"Nerd!"

"Man-whore!"

"Wimp!"

"Adrenaline junkie!"

"Geek!"

"Ass!"

"Bitch!"

"Jerk!"

Sammy couldn't help his comment next.

"Girls, you're both pretty, now shut your traps."

Dean and Bree both stuck their tongue out at Sam, which sparked this...

"Dean, put that tongue away because I really don't want to think of where _that_ thing has been."

Bree snickered.

A few days later he kidnapped Dean and his car and dropped them at the annual muscle cars convention that lasted for five days and enough cash that Dean could get some things for the Impala. He drove back to Bobby's looking much happier than he had been in a long time, because he got to see some very cool cars and have people gush over his baby.

Of course he immediately got into a prank war with Bree for grabbing him like that.

* * *

><p>Dean's first act was to unscrew the lid off the salt shaker. Bree handed it to Bobby who promptly cussed Dean out for ruining his eggs.<p>

And with that, chaos reigned among the Winchesters.

Bree retaliated by having a few non-poisonous snakes slither into Dean's bed. Sam promptly taped his brother screaming bloody murder while Bree rescued the 'poor snakes that were corrupted by Dean's dirty mind', to Sam's amusement.

Dean retaliated by stealing Bree's holly wand, which he thought was the source of his magic.

Bree decides to remind him that yes, he is the Trickster's son, no matter _how_ that one happened, and promptly puts Dean in an oh-so-familiar illusion of _Dr. Sexy, M.D._, only this time he puts it in Dean's mind making him look like a lunatic in the town they were in. Sam narrowly manages to keep Dean out of the nuthouse by claiming he had been doing a bet.

Things escalate from there.

Dean manages to paint Bree's T.A.R.D.I.S. bright pink, to his disgust.

Bree puts beef bullion cubes in the hotel shower a few minutes before Dean goes in.

Dean forces Bree into a dress, only to find out that Bree isn't that embarrassed because of the British magical's idea of fashion, I/E robes.

Bree promptly forces Dean to speak nothing but Latin for a full day...and dyes his hair green while he slept. Sam still didn't know how Bree managed that one, because he used Kool-Aid that lasted for a week.

It quickly gets worse as Dean enlists Castiel's help to leave Bree stranded for three days...only to get a card in the mail from Japan sent to Bobby's house.

It wasn't until Bree brought in a very familiar trickster that Dean realizes painfully that he wouldn't win against Bree...because they tag teamed against both Dean, Sam and Castiel for an entire week.

It finally ends when Dean unknowingly sits on a whoopie cushion disillusioned to match the Impala's interior that is filled with stink pellets.

It takes three days before that smell leaves the Impala. By which time Dean has declared a truce grudgingly to Bree.


	7. Canon Alternate, 99 Problems

_**Canon Universe, **_**end of ****_Dark Side of the Moon _and _99 Problems_**

Castiel looked devastated to have what Bree told them confirmed. Dean just looked pissed that god didn't care enough to help.

"I told you. God can't help because it would interfere with his own rules. As I recall, one of heaven's rules is _no direct intervention_ right Cas?"

"It is," Castiel reluctantly admitted.

"Interfering with the apocalypse would be a direct interference...it's why the world was destroyed repeatedly until Fate got pissed off and decided to send me here. There's _direct_ interference, which is what you want Castiel, then there's _indirect_ interference which is what I'm classed as."

"What's the difference?" asked Sam.

"Direct interference...in other words God, Fate or an unchained Death kills Lucifer and Micheal. However that goes against God's mandate that neither heaven nor hell would interfere with human matters, which is what the end of the world is classed as since it happens on Earth and it is possible for humans to stop it themselves."

Castiel looked a bit upset at the reminder.

"Then there's indirect interference, in which one of the big three sends someone in their place to do their work for them. In other words, they get someone with powers to 'fix' things and restore the balance between heaven and hell. Usually it's god or fate that does the calling. Generally those chosen are given extra powers and are called the Walking Man. Walking Men can act without worry of heaven or hell getting in the way, at least until their task is complete...then they're generally screwed because they pissed people off."

"So why haven't you been helping then?" asked Dean.

"I am. I'm helping the epicenter of this mess to clean up after themselves by allying myself with you. Think about it. I'm an angel cambion who hasn't even mastered how to use their Grace yet or even stopped this in my own time. How the hell am I supposed to stop this mess if I don't learn on my own? I have one hundred and thirty-four more repeats until I get back to my alternate universe."

"A hundred thirty-four? The worlds been ruined 134 times?" said Dean in shock.

"After you two didn't get all the information you needed? Yes. This time around you're getting that damn info and setting things right. Then I'll figure out how to go through the next one and the next until I get home. I'm going to be cleaning up this mess for a while."

That was the feeling he got anyway. 134 repeats...134 different messes to clean up. It was the only explanation for why he had been thrown back so far.

Dean looked irritable at having Bree's warning confirmed. He was so annoyed he didn't even want his amulet anymore. Instead he looked at Bree and handed it to him.

"Keep it," he said.

"This is really familiar," said Bree dryly.

"Why?"

Bree pulled out a thin cord and on it was the exact same amulet.

"Same damn scenario. Last time you got a hold of God and he told you to quit looking for him, you give me the amulet saying that you don't care anymore. From what I recall after this we go to a town where demons are running amok and find the Whore of Babylon. It was after that Castiel told me about the Walkers that have appeared over the years. That was the first time I revealed what Cas called my 'angel name' which the humans will go by."

Castiel finally took an interest in what Bree was saying.

"What?"

"Well I couldn't control my Grace and you asked why I called myself Kibeth..."

"Kibeth, the bell that belongs to the Walker in the _Abhorsen_ series," said Sam.

Bree held up a bell that had obscure symbols woven into it, and cast of blessed metal. It had a yew handle that was polished to a finish.

"You're kidding...you made your own set of Bells?" said Sam.

"Actually I had them custom ordered by the same guys who made my sonic screwdriver. At least after that mess when I banished Zachariah the asshole into heaven until he learned some manners. Idiot actually removed his Grace just to kill me, so I took Dad's blade and stabbed it through the brain."

"Good," said Dean.

"Yeah. But I always keep the amulet with the Grace Vials...including..." said Bree grinning as he pulled out the biggest vial on the chain.

"Is that..." said Castiel.

"Lucifer's Grace? Yup."

Castiel looked at Bree with a new light.

"You're the one. The innocent who fell into the pit and found that which the first to fall had lost," said Castiel.

"Bingo! Fate must have been pissed that particular prophecy wasn't completed and finally found the winning recipe to have it filled finally," said Bree.

"What prophecy?" asked Sam.

"So it shall be that a pure soul shall descend into Hell to spare the life of a condemned man, dragging the damned down with him. And he shall ascend into courts most high under the power taken back from he who was first to fall...," said Castiel, quoting the prophecy.

"And what does that mean?"

"I killed Lilith, sparing Sam the fate of starting the apocalypse and was caught in the seal she created. While I fell into hell, I dragged the man who murdered my mother down with me because he had somehow managed to attach a piece of his soul in my head...which I absorbed his powers. For two months above I searched Hell and found six Vials full of an Angel's Grace which is the source of their powers...including Lucifer's. And once that was done I achieved what is known as a partial ascension, awakening to my full angelic powers and getting a double pair of wings. I can also see any angel's true form without going blind. What's left of my human form became the Master of Death, who holds the stone from Death's ring."

"What exactly does that mean anyway?" asked Dean.

"Bree was doomed to become the Walker the moment that prophecy was completed. The only reason Heaven even knows about it is because God told us that anyone who completes it will become a Walking Man who will stop Lucifer once and for all," said Castiel.

"Yeah, and unlike that whole Boy-Who-Lived crap, I actually have a support team and a family who gives a damn about what happens to me. I would rather be a force of Fate cleaning up after you two than being stuck in England with a damn fan girl as my wife and my surrogate sister stuck in a loveless marriage to a dullard."

Castiel looked at him in shock.

"Harry Potter. That's your original name isn't it? That's how you knew about the Hallows!"

"My _name,"_ Bree stressed angrily, "is Gabriel Winchester. Harry Potter died when I realized he would never live in peace thanks to that damn war. At least now I don't have to keep half and eye out for people wanting to steal the Deathly Hallows from me."

He looked at Sam and Dean.

"You have two options. Either say yes to Lucy and Micheal...or find the other two horsemen and have Cass take you to England to Godric's Hallow and explain to this world's Harry Potter why you need the Resurrection Stone. Then Lucifer gets sealed for good, and he won't be entirely immortal anymore," said Bree before he vanished.

"We are seriously boned," said Dean.

"Can you take us to this Godric's Hallow to find Potter?" asked Sam.

"Not until you find Death's Ring. That would be the only chance I could see for you to convince him to part with it," said Castiel.

* * *

><p>Sam and Dean drove like hell in a town with high demon activity. Like Bree had said, they found a town where demons were running amok. They heard someone chanting Enochian and knew that something was very wrong indeed.<p>

Once they were inside the church, Sam called Bree.

"Bree...Yeah, we're in that town you told us about. What were they saying anyway? ...You're joking right?" asked Sam.

"What?" asked Dean.

Sam put his phone closer to Dean so he could hear.

"_I said that their supposed exorcism is saying and I quote 'You breed with the mouth of a goat.' It's not a very witty thing to say to be honest,"_ said Bree.

"Are you sure?" asked Dean loudly.

"_Dean, I can read and speak Enochian as well as any angel. All that exorcism does it annoy the demons...besides they're being controlled by the Whore of Babylon anyway."_

"How do we find this chick anyway?"

"_She disguises herself as a fake prophet. Also, last time I encountered her she claimed that she could hear the angels speaking to her, which as you know very well Dean is extremely painful if you aren't in tune with them and can drive humans insane. Next time she claims to 'hear' angels, ask if they are speaking to her in dreams or in their true voice. If she says in dreams she might be tempted to use an angel you're familiar with. If she says true voice, then loudly point out that hearing an angel speak in Enochian breaks windows."_

"Either way we'll bust her."

"_If that doesn't work, call me and I'll show up with my wings out to give the townspeople a good scare and a rather unhappy wake-up call."_

"You have wings?" asked Sam.

"_You might get to see them soon if you can't break the Whore's control of the town. Or I'll show them to you at Bobby's. Fair warning Dean, touching an angel's wings is supposed to be very personal from what Cas and Gabriel have told me."_

* * *

><p>Leah the 'Prophet' passed out in the pew.<p>

"Is it another vision?" asked her father.

She nodded, but Dean interrupted.

"Just out of curiosity, do the angels talk to you directly in your dreams or in their true voices?" asked Dean.

"They talk to me in their true voice," said Leah.

"Then why aren't you raving mad yet?" asked Dean.

"What?" asked Leah taken aback.

"An angel can't speak to humans directly without driving them insane. And seeing an angel's true form will blind you. Not to mention the last time I heard an angel speaking to me, it blew out the windows and made the television static as hell," said Dean flatly.

"An angel has spoken to you?" asked the priest.

"He tried, didn't really work out. You see angels can't speak to us without taking human form, usually a willing vessel. And the last person we met who saw an angel in their true form had their eyes burned out," said Dean.

Leah stammered about how she was special, but Dean and Sam weren't buying it.

"You see I find it odd that demons would be interested in such a small town. And angels are against direct interference because God told them it was a bad idea," said Sam.

"Maybe you aren't as special as me," said Leah.

"And maybe you're a fake prophet. See we happen to know someone who speaks Enochian, and he said you're full of crap," said Dean.

"I'm not!"

"Then why does your exorcism actually mean 'You breed with the mouth of a goat'? And your prophecies are too specific to be true," said Sam.

* * *

><p>Sam and Dean were kicked out of town because the people didn't believe them. It was understandable, considering they had just arrived and Leah had been 'protecting' them from demons. So they called in reinforcements.<p>

Bree waited for Leah to have another 'vision' before he made his move.

"_**Whore of Babylon, for trying to turn the innocent into the damned, I condemn you to death,"**_said Bree with a booming voice. His four wings were shining with a simple light charm since he didn't want to use his Grace and his voice was amplified with a Sonorus.

The townspeople stared at Leah with fright as the 'angel' stabbed her in the heart with a Cyprus stake from Babylon. After she was done fizzling where he stabbed her, he told them the simplest methods.

He told them to go back to the basics, I/E the Ten Commandments. If that didn't help their case then they had done something to go to hell anyway. He left the town to see Dean and Sam.

"How did I do?" he asked with a smirk.

"Bree, you make one bad ass angel," said Dean.

"How did you make your wings glow like that?"

"Light charm combined with Sonorus for the voice."

Castiel appeared five minutes later in Dean's car.

"What happened?" he asked.

"We ran into the Whore of Babylon and Bree scared them straight since she was about to condemn a ton of people to hell," said Sam.

"How?"

"I appeared with glowing wings, booming voice and I looked the part most people think of when they imagine angels. All I told them while the bitch died was to go back to basics, as in their precious Ten Commandments," said Bree.

"Probably the least amount of damage you've done to Heaven's reputation," said Castiel sourly.

"Har har," said Bree.


	8. Canon Alternate No Episode, England

_**Canon Universe, no episode**_

"GET BACK HERE MIDGETS!" shouted Dean. His voice was rather high-pitched for him and he looked different at first glance.

Closer inspection would reveal that somehow Bree and Loki had turned him and Sam into females thanks to some carefully timed potions, and that Dean was now on the warpath.

Bree and Loki were cackling while they hid inside the TARDIS. Sam just looked resigned as he knew that this would end eventually. The only thing that would make this even more embarrassing was if...

The sound of wings came from nearby and he, er she sighed.

Trust Cas to feel his bonded's anger and come looking for answers.

"Dean what is...why are you female?" asked Castiel in confusion.

"The Midget duo hit me and Sammy with what they call gender-switching potions. Said it would last a week," growled Dean. He was going to kill them for this...or preferably shoot them both in the ass.

Dean heard Sam's phone go off and half the conversation. Trust Bree to call Bobby with the news. He could even hear Bobby laughing his ass off when he heard what was going on.

Dean finally noted that Cas was staring at him far too intently for his comfort.

"Cas what are you..."

Sam took one look at the scene and vacated the room before the curtains were shut and the door locked. He was so not sticking around to hear the result.

"Hey Samantha we have cards and beer! Want to play poker?" shouted Bree from his area.

"You do realize Dean will kill you for this?" he said.

"Yeah, and? By the time _she_ gets to leave that room we'll be halfway around the world! Care for a trip?" cackled Bree.

Sam sighed...then again maybe he could convince Bree to help him end his prank early.

"Where are we?"

"Britain, just outside Charing Cross Road. Figured you could meet the Master of Death early," said Bree smirking.

"How will I know what he looks like?"

Bree snapped his fingers and became a somewhat short man with black hair that had spiking issues and his familiar emerald green eyes hidden behind a pair of glasses. On his head was a lightning-shaped scar and tired continence.

"This is what I looked like before my partial ascension. That help?"

"A bit, yeah. How do I convince him about Lucifer?"

"Offer to willingly take veritaserum. Three drops of that and you'll be talking in nothing but truth. Or a gryffin quill which won't allow lies to be written."

"What's his name?"

"Harry James Potter. Just tell him point blank why you need the stone and that you would leave him alone after, and he should be willing to at least hear you out. I had a support group once I was eight, so I have no idea if anyone got him out of that house or if Vernon was just as bad as I remember."

In truth he was going to be cruising around Diagon for something to buy. He had rebuilt a good stash of gold in this time line to use, and he planned to use it.

* * *

><p>As it turned out, Bree ran into his alternate self long before Sam did. Harry was having another argument with Ginny (who made Bree shudder at the thought of marrying the fan girl) when he stomped off. Bree casually walked up to him and said "Bad day?"<p>

Harry glanced at him and decided what the hell, why not?

"You don't know the half of it."

"You look like you need a rant buddy. How about a drink away from people?"

"Is it strong?"

"It's the good stuff. Have to kill time till my friend comes back since I dropped him off here to have some fun after I pranked him into being a girl."

"Beats dealing with my pissy wife just because she got another floo call about me abandoning my paperwork for another day. Not like I actually _enjoy_ my job anymore. She won't even let me play with the kids in peace!" bitched Harry.

"Sounds like you need a nice vacation where you can kill things that no one cares about," said Bree. Inwardly he was grinning.

"Yeah, like the paperwork wouldn't be hell for the damages I cause," said Harry, throwing back another shot.

"Tell me, what do you know of hunters?"

"They're a bitch and a half cleaning up after when they run into anything magical," responded Harry immediately.

Bree brought out a laptop and quickly pulled up his site. Harry scrolled through with vague interest, having learned how to use a desktop in primary school.

The more he read, the higher his interest in the career rose.

"How's the paperwork?" he asked finally. Hunters seemed to have a decent life going on, minus a steady paycheck...plus his life had been dead boring for a while now.

"No paperwork at _all_. Aside from having to learn real Latin and a few other odds and ends, it beats being an Auror any day of the week. Plus there's the fact that now Death is active again, you'll probably be visited by the supernatural side anyway."

"What?"

"Lucifer, the devil, was broken free from hell by angels not doing their job right and he set loose the horsemen. War and Famine were set free but Pestilence and Death are still out there. I figured we could at least give you the choice of letting them come to you or taking the fight to them for once. And this time you would be given the information up front instead of working things out on your own," said Bree.

Harry seemed to be seriously considering this.

"Why would they bother me?"

"You're the Master of Death right? Because Death dropped the stone from his ring, the full seal to put Lucifer permanently in his cage is incomplete without the Resurrection stone."

"Why me?" complained Harry.

"Hey, if you do decide to get involved, this time you would have proper back up who don't give a shit about the whole boy-who-lived crap and are running under the same information you are. That's gotta count for something right?"

Harry looked at Bree oddly.

"Being an auror is more dull than I had thought. And I can't stand all that paperwork. Perhaps I do need a vacation from England for a bit."

"Plus you'll be away from Ginny for a while."

Harry thought that last one over and said "Sold. Where do I sign up?"

Bree grinned mischievously.

* * *

><p>Loki stared at Potter who had his own expanded bag much like Hermione's old beaded one.<p>

Ginny had been less than pleased with his sudden vacation away from her and the children, who would be spending time with their grandmother until Harry got back. Molly was under the mistaken impression that Ginny would be with him. He didn't feel like correcting her.

"And who are they?" asked Harry.

"Samuel Winchester, though he goes by Sam. I hit him with a gender switching potion along with his older brother a few hours ago. And this is Loki, yes that Loki, formerly known as Gabriel, the Angel of Judgment. At the moment everyone believes Gabriel to have been killed so I recommend calling him Loki."

"George would love to meet you," said Harry with a snort.

"He already has. Did you know that twins as close as the Weaslys will automatically end up in the same version of heaven when they die? All he has to do is wait for his time and he'll see Fred again," said Loki.

"And what of my parents?" asked Harry.

"They're already in heaven. Saw them both myself when I had to drop off another soul to keep it safe."

"You can go to heaven without dying?"

"Only if you have angel blood or a contractual immortality clause like Sammy here," said Bree.

"Contractual..." started Harry.

"Immortality clause?" finished Sam.

Bree gave Sam a flat look.

"How often have you and Dean died exactly?"

Sam grimaced.

"Good point. We've lost count," said Sam.

"Wait, so I'm not the only person to deal with dying and coming back to life?" said Harry.

"Not only that, Sam and Dean's mother was killed in the same manner as Lily Potter, only instead of a dark wizard it was a demon. So you aren't as alone as you thought," said Bree cheerfully.

Harry looked at Sam thoughtfully.

"You need any help pranking these two idiots?"

"God yes!" said Sam. Maybe now he and Dean could get back at them for all the hell Bree and Loki gave them when they were bored!

* * *

><p>"So let me get this straight. Bree took you to England and somehow convinced the same wizard we were going to have to find to seal Lucifer away...into considering dropping his job to become a hunter?" said Dean.<p>

"To be fair he had been pressured into that role and into his marriage by the magical communities. He can't even enjoy being with his kids anymore because of the stress he's under. Besides, have you seen the amount of paperwork an auror has to do?" said Bree, popping a sucker (not a blood pop, as those were exclusively Sam's) into his mouth.

"Are those blood pops?" asked Harry, seeing the one Sam popped in.

"Yup. Sammy here had a run-in with this demon named Ruby who turned him into a partial vampire who's addicted to demon's blood. The only way we've been able to counter it is by giving him small, regular doses of angel's blood, even if it is a bit diluted. Considering a quart of angel's blood can make a hundred blood pops, it's a sacrifice that can be made. He's tried the regular ones too, but they aren't nearly as effective around demons."

"The withdrawal is nastier than the taste," said Sam.

"Not to mention the looks on the angel's faces when they realize what you have," chortled Bree.

"What does demon's blood do anyway?"

"Increases adrenaline and testosterone, making it easier to access certain psychic abilities. The problem is that it's addicting as hell and is a very quick way to become a demon when you die. Sam here was on the wrong end of the karma spectrum because of that bitch Ruby, and it's only the blood pops that keep him from doing a slide back into his bad habits."

Harry shrugged.

"Meh, I've seen worse."

"Hermione's study guides from hell?" said Bree.

Harry winced at the thought.

"That reminds me...is she really married to Ron of all people?"

"Unfortunately. She could break it off is she wanted, but she's terrified that it would make me do the same with Ginny and leave the children with their mother."

Loki saw the odd look on Bree's face.

"Oh no...no no no! You aren't seriously considering..."

"Sam is an even match intelligence wise with Hermione, plus he wouldn't be intimidated by the fact she's a witch and extremely hex happy during that time of the month," said Bree.

Harry looked like he considered the idea, and it wasn't like there was anything holding Hermione from divorcing Ron for someone better for her. For some reason their magic was incompatible to the point where they couldn't produce any children.

Molly had been devastated when she heard that.

Dean sighed. He had finally returned to being a _guy_ again, though Castiel took full advantage of the situation and showed he wasn't afraid to top every once and a while.

"What's this Hermione like anyway?" he asked.

"A girl version of Sammy with frizzy hair and isn't as tall as Sam," said Bree flatly.

"So she's a nerd who loves looking up random crap just for the sake of knowing?"

"Nosy as hell, and she actually achieved a doctorate before she was twenty," said Harry.

"What does she look like anyway?" asked Sam.

Bree conjured a picture of his Hermione, and Harry nodded.

"That's her. How do you know what she looks like anyway?"

"I'm an alternate version of you who had the common sense to kill my Harry Potter identity the second my look changed enough to fool people. Anonymity is _fun_," said Bree, switching back to how he looked before.

Harry blinked, before he banged his head against the wall for not thinking of that himself.

Bree chuckled.

"Feel free to steal my identity after this mess is over. I can help set you up," he said.

"I might take you up on that... I can introduce you as a friend I made on vacation named Uncle Gabriel...should be enough to keep Molly off my back."

"One will and a changed account later and no one will think twice about Gabriel Winchester," chuckled Bree.

"Are you two done plotting?" asked Dean amused.

"Never. A Marauder is never done plotting his next prank," said Harry. Bree nodded in agreement. Loki snickered from where he was munching on chocolate frogs.


	9. Canon Alternate No Episode, America

_**Canon Universe, no episode**_

Exactly one month after Harry took his 'vacation' to America and discovered that being a hunter had all the appeal his job as an auror did only with no paperwork and far more action that the job actually had, his return to England was met with quite a bit of fan fare.

Mostly because Molly finally caught wind that he had all but abandoned his wife and children for a month without telling them where he was going.

After that fight Harry went to Hermione. Spending a month with Sam had given him all the things he needed to see that the 'Sasquatch' as his friends called him, would be good for her. Better than Ron anyway.

"Harry James Potter what are you up to?" demanded Hermione.

"I have a surprise for you...and I need to tell you something. Far away from prying ears," said Harry.

They found a secluded muggle restaurant where Harry cast enough privacy charms to give even him pause.

"What is going on?"

"I'm going to kill Harry Potter and set up another identity. I just can't keep this nonsense up Hermione! All the pressure because of the war and with the way things are with Ginny... it's getting to be too much."

"And what of the children?" asked Hermione.

"I already have a plan set up for that. I met someone in America who's going to help me set up a new identity in exchange for switching places with him when he leaves. His job is more interesting and fulfilling than my work as an auror, not to mention I did more helping people working with him than I ever did after war. And there's the fact that I don't feel anything for Ginny other than obligation."

"And why are you telling me?"

"Because I found someone who would be much better than Ron ever would and while he's a muggle hunter he doesn't seem to mind dating a witch. He's been to Stanford and nearly took the test to be a lawyer before his family's calling brought him back into the fold. There is a minor catch though."

"What?"

"He was hurt by a demon who turned him into a partial vampire with an addiction to demon's blood. They've found a way to keep the addiction from rearing it's ugly head, but he eats blood pops often," said Harry.

"Is that all?"

"He's also emotionally dependent on his older brother. The two of them have been through hell, but their relationship is workable at best. They're considered a package deal at best," said Harry.

"What is his name?" she asked. Judging by the tone she was seriously considering it.

"Sam Winchester."

"Oh bloody hell. Those books are real?" said Hermione.

"What books?"

"_Supernatural_. It's a series by Carver Edmund about two brothers named Sam and Dean who hunt monsters. It's fact not fiction?"

"I've met Sam and Dean. So what do you say?"

"Let's go met your hunter friends. If the books really are based on fact we'll get along fine."

"Wait till you see my double," grinned Harry.

"What..." started Hermione before Harry used Side-Along to take them straight to Bree's little pocket dimension.

"Double...Dammit, Harry a little warning!" she finished.

"Where's the fun in that?" asked Bree and Harry. Since seeing him look exactly like him, Harry and Bree had great delight doing the twin-speak that Fred and George had loved so much.

The headaches they gave everyone else trying to follow them were enormous. It had the benefit of making Harry grin like a mad man for hours.

Hermione groaned in horror.

"Dear god there's two of you now..."

"Mione, meet Gabriel Winchester."

"Name's Bree runt," said Bree cheerfully. Hermione looked around her.

"Is this an actual TARDIS?"

"Pocket dimension spell used on most trunks combined with a love of the _Doctor Who_ series. That and a small outlet where I can put a time-turner means I have an actual TARDIS, even if I can't go to other worlds just yet," grinned Bree.

"So is that what you really look like?" asked Hermione.

Bree snapped his fingers and went back to his normal look.

"What...how did you..."

"I'm part-angel, and before you ask no I am not a damn Nephilim. Why people keep calling me that when they find out I'm half angel is beyond me. The technical term is angelic cambion."

"So why are you here?"

"Have you ever heard of the Walking Man?"

"No."

"A human or being is picked by either Fate, God or some higher power that is bound by the no direct interference clause to serve as their messenger or avatar on Earth where they correct whatever imbalance is present. Basically I'm an alternate version of Harry who was chosen to be the Walker, an angel who works as Fate's chosen to correct the imbalance caused by multiple repeated events. In this case Lucifer, the fallen arch angel, being set free from hell and then breaking out because the seal was never complete to begin with."

"What seal?"

"The seal of the four horsemen. Because Harry is the Master of Death and possesses the Resurrection stone, the seal was incomplete and Micheal had been sealed in hell."

"You mean angels and demons exist?" asked Hermione.

Bree released his wings, and she gasped.

"I'm the ascended half-angel son of Gabriel, the Angel of Judgment. You tell me," said Bree.

"Ascended?"

"Basically it means I came into full possession of my father's arch angel heritage, while still retaining my mother's human half. Thankfully that meant I got a new look so I could 'kill' my Harry Potter persona. I can turn back into him at any time, but I never do because of all the crap I had to deal with during my school years."

"And what of my alternate?"

"I set you up with a friendly, if mischievous 900-year old Irish warlock named Patrick who gambles for years instead of cash. Last time I checked the two of you were rather happy together...if only because he's willing to feed your book addiction and you are used to pranksters."

"I've heard of Patrick. Isn't he the legendary gambler?" asked Hermione.

"Yup. And he told me the trick to giving and taking years since I beat him for a hundred years to use as favors. So what do you say Hermione? Care to meet the real Sam Winchester?"

"Is he anything like the books?"

"They nearly shot Chuck when they found out he had been publishing their life story!" cackled Bree.

* * *

><p>Hermione Granger (not Weasly as she didn't feel the spark, according to her) sized up Sam Winchester.<p>

"Those books didn't do either of you justice."

Dean and Sam winced. Not another crazy fan.

"Why do people even read those anyway?" asked Dean.

"Because of how dark this world is, it's always nice to read a bit of fantasy to escape it. Besides one of my former roommates recommended it and even gave me three of them for my birthday."

"Hermione Granger is a bigger bookworm than Sam or Bobby. If you have an obscure book, she'll read it long before you have a chance to offer it!" laughed Harry.

"And just so we're clear, I am not a fan of that ridiculous Wincest website run by that crude American girl Becky. I have to deal with that crap enough in Britain thank you," said Hermione.

"Thank god...a sensible fan of the books," muttered Dean.

Hermione and Sam had a rather nice date...nice enough that she was seriously considering the guy her brother-in-all-but-blood set her up with. She just wasn't getting anywhere with Ron, and she just clicked with Sam. She could live with his addiction to blood pops considering Castiel, Dean's boyfriend, was supplying the blood once every two months.

She was even approved of by Bobby, which according to Dean was a rarity.

"So this is what you do all day?" asked Harry.

"I became a research monkey by accident and fell in love with the work. Hunters love me because I help with a guarantee for a refund if the info doesn't work out, which is more than other research monkeys give."

"...This research is more fun than doing homework. Sure the cash isn't as steady, but it's infinitely better than my last job. You sure you don't mind me taking this over?"

"I am you after all. No way in hell am I leaving my alternate self stuck with the ginger fan girl who looks far too much like my mother."

Harry shuddered. Why he had never noticed the similarities he had no idea, but it made him sick to think of it now.

"I've already started showing up as 'Uncle Gabriel' so you should be good to go on that front. And I've left you the vault keys. You finish making that will?"

"Made it last week. When I kill off Harry Potter, everyone will grieve and never think to look for Bree Winchester...by the way how did Sam and Dean react to that name anyway?"

"They said they were fine with claiming you as a younger brother considering you'll be the one making Sam's blood pops for them using Castiel's blood," said Bree. "And since I will be the one to say that I didn't kill Harry Potter with veritaserum to back me up when that comes up, you'll be in the clear to have a relationship with the kids without having to deal with Ginny."

"George said he'll back me up, as will Charlie and Bill once I told them my plans. The only thing holding me back was the kids."

Only those that had proven that they trusted Harry, not the boy-who-lived, during the war and weren't blindsided by Dumbledore's bullshit were being told the truth. Ron and Molly were never told because they would take it the wrong way and ruin everything Harry was trying to do.

They would see it as a betrayal of his marriage to Ginny and ducking out of his responsibility as a parent. He loved his children, but he couldn't stand to be married to Ginny any more and he didn't want his kids to hate him for separating them from their mother.

All four of them were told about what their father would be doing and that he would be coming around as often as he could while his 'work' allowed him under a disguise.

As far as they were concerned he was under 'Witness Protection' because of the Hallows and didn't want them to be hurt. They were even introduced to Bree who they would pretend was their 'Uncle'.

"So how do we kill Harry Potter?" asked Harry.

"Same way my version of Vernon and Dudley were killed. Wendigo attack. I can act as the Wendigo and take you off to 'die' while Ginny acts as witness to the attack."

Harry snorted...his soon-to-be ex-wife was going to be his best witness to his 'death'. Talk about ironic. He had already transferred most of the Potter fortune to the 'Winchester' vault and with Bill's help cleared the evidence.

All Ginny would get was three thousand galleons...the rest was tied to the children's trust vaults which she couldn't touch even if she was their mother.

* * *

><p>Harry set up the trap, including enough blood to fool any investigations done, and they would be done.<p>

The fact that the 'Wendigo' would make an escape into the woods and vanish would be a moot point. Of course Bree would cover that with his 'presence' at the scene and actual burnt ashes of a Wendigo.

It took a month and several fake deaths (complete with birth certificates and other backgrounds which would disappear once the investigation was closed) before 'Harry Potter' was dead by a Wendigo eating him.

Ginny was originally horrified, then pissed when she learned how little of the Potter fortune she would receive, as Harry had simply added more gold to the children's trust funds rather than leave any to her outside the amount he had already set. One thousand for each year they spent together.

She seemed really pissed that he left most of his fortune and everything else to Gabriel Winchester, a noted employer of muggleborns.

(Bree had taken a full year to recreate his business and would hand it over to Harry once he left. Considering all he had to do was insure that the business never ended up going bankrupt and giving people their paychecks on time, Harry now had more time to himself.)

There was a brief investigation, but no one thought to check if the memories were faked about the deaths or the report of the Wendigo when the test came back positive that it was the ashes. This was because Hermione had heard of their elaborate plan from the start and had helped make the fake victims.

Bree was an expert hacker...making fake victims for a Wendigo was cakewalk since he helped hunters kill the damn things.

And now that Harry Potter was officially 'dead' in the eyes of the magical populace, he was free to live his life and see his children without ever having to deal with Ginny ever again.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Not much Supernatural in this chapter, but I felt it was needed. Bree will be fixing not only Sam and Dean's mess, but also that of his alternates. At least that way it will still be an HPSupernatural cross.**_

_**Also I loathe the Harry/Ginny pairing in canon. Absolutely **_**hate****_ it. Ron and Hermione was the second worst pairing, as they have very little in common aside from sharing a few adventures with Harry. Hermione can do much, much better than Ron._**


	10. Canon Alternate End, First Alternate

_**Canon Universe,**_** Point of No Return****_, set after _Hammer of the Gods**

It was the news of the century, Harry's death and the subsequent 'adoption' of the Potter heirs. They were still invited over to see the Weaslys, but other than that they wanted nothing to do with their harpy mother.

Ginny apparently 'jumped ship' as it were and wasted no time heading to the next rich husband...Draco Malfoy.

Harry was properly disgusted with her behavior.

"Give me the word and I'll make it look like she planned your murder," said Bree seriously.

"How?"

"There's a reason why I chose Wendigo attack. Makes it easy to get people to believe that it was planted. All I have to do is have Hermione 'find' evidence that the Wendigo ashes were planted and steal Ginny's wand and I can forge evidence that she killed you and used a Wendigo to cover it up. One of the benefits of being a time traveler is that I can go back and steal her wand."

"Can I have some time to think on it?"

A week later Harry had Bree go into the past to steal Ginny's wand and make it look like she killed him and destroyed most of the evidence. Bree had, in a fit of boredom fourth year, learned to 'hack' a wand into thinking it's real owner had cast a spell when he borrowed Ron's wand.

So duplicating Ginny's magical signature was cakewalk.

It took all of three days before Ginny was the number one suspect for Harry's "murder" even though she had no idea it was a set-up. She kept wondering when her children would show up to at least support her, but they were much happier with "Uncle Gabe"and didn't help her case at all when they mentioned the rows she had with Harry because he wasn't showing any interest in her.

The fact Harry had divorce paperwork ready to be filed left with the goblins shortly after finishing his 'will' didn't help her either.

Everyone knew that Harry and Ginny were having problems in their marriage. The only reason Harry even stayed was for the children and it was obvious to everyone who the children preferred when it came to their parents.

Ginny was now a persona-non-grata in the magical communities. She eventually left Britain for one of the other magical areas and changed her name.

Harry still acted as Gabriel Winchester, or Gabe, though. Bree was uncannily good at recreating his company and had no issues handing it over to his alternate. It wasn't like he actually _used_ the gold aside to pay for food.

Dean had looked about ready to kiss him when Bree enchanted his car to never need gas ever again. Castiel was extremely jealous.

Gabe had set up a house near Bobby's area so that they would have a safe place to apparate or port key into. Bree had set the wards so that people could go into the panic room...but they would have to break the circle in order to get out. The same went for angel and demon transportation.

The last thing he did was give Gabe all of his memories so that he could fight like a hunter and not get killed. He even set up with a double of his laptop so he could act as Monkey Magic without drawing suspicion.

Considering his time was drawing to a close because Adam would be revived soon, Bree knew he would be thrown into the next alternate once Micheal came on the scene. He could always come back with his new portable house, but his assistance was quickly becoming moot.

On the plus side, Hermione had dumped Ron and started dating Sam for real. She could live with his blood addiction if it meant having someone intelligent to talk to, and Sam loved the fact that Hermione could match him in the research department and wasn't angry at him for starting the apocalypse.

If she could live with the nonsense Harry used to get into, she could live with the crap Sam and Dean had following them around.

* * *

><p>Castiel and Gabriel (he only went as Loki in public) cried out in shock as Adam Winchester was forcibly revived.<p>

As Bree had pointed out, they were only following god's original orders, which was to love all his creations. Technically they hadn't done anything to lose their Grace because they still believed in Him and were willing to fight in order to give humanity it's best chance.

Even if it meant killing their fellow angels.

Castiel brought Adam to them, but Bree told him not to add the sigils that would allow him to remain hidden.

"Why?" asked Gabriel.

"Micheal can't add them once he takes Adam, since Dean clearly doesn't want to be his vessel. And he's too strong for another angel to add them for him, so Adam can't remain hidden. He would have to use normal methods and it will help us avoid him and Lucy later," said Bree.

"Agreed," said Gabe.

"I want to know why the hell they brought him back to begin with! And I thought Micheal needed consent to take a human vessel?" said Hermione.

"Adam agreed to be brought back. That can be construed as consent for Micheal's purposes. If Dean can't be convinced, then they'll take Adam as his replacement, willing or not. It happened last time and I ended up here," said Bree.

"Who the hell are you people? Where is Zachariah?"

"Soon to be dead if I have anything to say about it. Zachariah is a sanctimonious prick who deserves a kick to the balls upon sight, and a stab to the heart when he really gets going. His only job is to use you to get to Dean because he's at least strong enough to tell Micheal and the other angels to go screw themselves when they start demanding things. You however, are a weak little civilian. Micheal is going to take your body and use it as his meat suit."

"Why would anyone not agree to angels? They're the good guys!"

"Most of them are as bad as Zachariah personality wise. Castiel and Loki here are the extremely rare exception to the rule. As Dean once said, angels are dicks with wings," said Bree flatly.

"Oh for god's sake. Micheal and the other angels are just using you because Dean had more common sense than you do apparently. Now either you grow up or I'll hex you," said Hermione.

"Since when do you idiots travel with a witch?" demanded Adam.

Hermione bristled at his tone.

"OW!"

"The brightest witch of her age. Don't piss off the bookworm dumbass," said Gabe.

"That reminds me...Guys, I've moved all your stuff into Gabe's house and added the wards so you'll have a fall back position. I've even added a panic room that is exactly like Bobby's and another for the kids. If as I suspect, I end up being sent to the next alternate, at least you'll have something to work with. All your phones have been set so that they can call me across the time-space problem. If my dad can call me from my time line, I see no reason why you can't do the same."

"Why don't you know what happens next?" asked Gabriel in the kitchen.

"According to your alternate from my time, the future where the Croatoan virus was always set loose because the seal was never complete. Then the world was reset back to start and the cycle repeated. So if something happens when Lucifer is finally sealed properly, you'll need a way to contact me. Remember, after Lucifer is sealed, I'm as in the dark as you guys."

Gabriel took Bree's cell phone and added a special feature.

"What did you do?"

"If what you said was true, then I was able to contact you from your time. I see no reason you shouldn't be able to contact him from now. Plus once you figure out how you can do the same to that box of yours and really make it into a duplicate of the T.A.R.D.I.S.," said Gabriel.

"Point. You do realize I'll be trying to figure out what you did during the next alternate in my spare time?"

"At least you'll have something to do!" laughed Gabriel.

* * *

><p>Adam was once again taken, and like Bree warned, held by angels. He showed Gabe how to cast the angel banishing charm (something he created after he examined the banishing sigil) and he took great pleasure in tossing out the ones in the warehouse.<p>

Bree mostly used it to get Castiel out of the room while he cast some cleaning charms and to give Dean incentive to take a shower. Gabriel thought this fact was hilarious.

Hermione put her knowledge of hexes to destroy the door (most of them created for use on her ex-fiance Ronald Weasly) while Sam and Bree ran in to get Adam.

The second the door closed and Zachariah appeared, Bree didn't hesitate to his by-now instinctive reaction.

He hit Zachariah with a Grace-infused kick to the balls in his shiny new steel-toed boots. The Seraph went down like a sack of bricks in absolute pain as Bree's grace overpowered his. He knew Sam would be sharing that particular memory with Dean once Hermione extracted it for him. The look on the pompous Seraph's face was _glorious_.

Bree pushed Sam and Adam outside the door before it slammed shut again and immediately concentrated on sliding into another time to avoid Micheal seeing him.

He didn't know if Micheal or Lucifer had also gotten the odd quirk to remember past alternates, but he wasn't taking the chance.

He felt his Grace taking effect and he dropped hard onto concrete outside Sioux Falls.

It took him five minutes to find the date, and a quick check told him exactly what he thought would happen after he came face to face with Micheal.

In order to avoid his death, he was given the power to 'slide' through alternates where Micheal couldn't follow.

Since he was clearly in a time before Sam returned to the hunting game, he was going to have some fun.

"Let the games begin!" grinned Bree.


	11. First Alternate, Pilot

_**First Alternate, three years before Dean brings Sam back to the Hunting Game**_

Gabe Evans was Sam's best friend. They had similar histories, similar interests, and both of them had absentee fathers who believed in the occult.

To Sam's amusement, that belief passed on to Gabe, who papered their shared room with what Sam knew to be actual warding symbols which Gabe claimed to get off the internet.

Apparently he believed in bad luck, and he didn't want to get bit by something.

Sam would occasionally yell out "Constant Vigilance!" to make them both laugh.

For a year, the two of them were as close as brothers. While Gabe believed in the occult, he never tried to push Sam about it. In fact he tended to ignore Halloween instead of trying anything like most 'Wiccans' he associated with. It took Sam all of two years to get that story out of him for why he hated Halloween more than Sam did.

And afterwords the two just went off to get drunk as hell in their apartment.

Every month or so Gabe would go off on a hunting trip to get the urge out and to test his weapons. He always brought something back, usually meat or a trophy. Sam now had an unusual belt buckle from one of Gabe's hunts made of the horn of some animal Gabe had freed from a poacher. He only ever hunted for meat, never for sport. Gabe had put some sort of symbol on the outside of the buckle, not that Sam cared as he didn't recognize it as a demon one.

He tended to wear it since it fit with most of his clothes and no one looked twice at it.

Sam had tried dating once or twice, and had lasted longest with a girl named Jessica, but for some reason she hated the occult and anything to do with it. Sam ended that relationship after he caught her cheating on him with another guy.

Gabe allowed him to mope about the incident for exactly three days before he brought home a puppy. The students could have pets so long as they were trained and they ponied up a hundred extra on rent.

Considering Sam usually ended up doing the dishes, grocery shopping (something about unpleasant encounters every time Gabe went shopping), and the laundry, Gabe tended to pay most of the rent.

Sam immediately named the dog Hunter as a joke, and the name stuck considering the dog was a boy.

A relative peace was maintained between the friends up until Sam's brother Dean reappeared in his life.

* * *

><p>"Dad's gone on a <em>hunting<em> trip...and he hasn't been seen for a few days," said Dean.

"What kind of hunting trip? Stalking prey can be a bitch and a half," asked Gabe.

"Look..."

"Gabe Evans, Sammy's roommate. Sam, if you're going to go stalk your dad, can you take Hunter with you? You know he likes you best," said Gabe.

"Who's Hunter?" asked Dean.

Sam almost laughed when he saw the evil glint in Gabe's eyes.

"Hunter, prank!"

With a loud bark, Dean was knocked on his ass by a hundred pound half-grown dog who was licking the crap out of his face. Sam didn't bother to hold back his laughter.

"What the hell is that?!" demanded Dean.

"Hunter."

Dean noticed something shiny on Hunter's nails.

"Is that silver paint?"

"Are you nuts? Why the hell would I put silver paint on a dog's claws? Those are pure silver caps that fit over the claws."

Sam blinked.

"I thought that was a joke?" he asked.

"Hell no! Why would I bother with paint when I can easily get actual caps that the dog can wear? Have you ever felt dog claws on you? They hurt like a bitch! Besides, werewolves will think twice before messing with me now!"

"Werewolves..." said Dean in disbelief, then he took note of the odd papers around the apartment.

"What the hell are those?"

"Warding sigils. I believe that there are things out there that defy human knowledge. You think I'm going to let a demon waltz in here without at least a warning?" said Gabe flatly.

Sam rolled his eyes.

"Gabe believes in the occult. And he takes pride in his wall art."

"So you taking Hunter or not?"

"You're cleaning up after him this time!" said Sam.

"Yeah, yeah Sasquatch. Get going already," said Gabe rolling his eyes.

* * *

><p>"So what's the deal with your roommate? He a hunter?"<p>

"Not from what I know. He apparently picked this up from his dad and kept up the belief out of respect for his parents. Some of the ward symbols are real though. And there is way too much salt around the house."

"Sammy?"

"Yeah Dean?"

"We are not taking the dog."

"We have to. Gabe said he would be working on something and Hunter prefers to hang around me. Anyway Gabe takes him out hunting often enough that he knows when to stay quiet. If he makes a mess Gabe will pay for it."

"He better," muttered Dean.

Hunter immediately jumped in the back seat and laid down on the blanket Sam had spread there. Dean kept half an eye on the mutt while they drove to where their dad had last been seen.

* * *

><p>Gabe started packing up all his essentials, tossing them into his trunk where his actual house was. He wondered when Hunter would reveal his hellhound heritage...should be amusing.<p>

Once he was done with all of his things, he waited for the yellow-eyed demon Azazel to show up. The second those warding sigil started to burn up, he was getting the hell out of there.

It took a few days, but once Sam called to say he was coming back, Gabe felt the wards kick in. They would warn off the demon long enough to get out of the apartment and leave Sam's things outside, since it would burn down. He vanished from the apartment just in time for Azazel to come in, cozy as you please.

* * *

><p>"Gabe?" said Sam.<p>

Hunter was growling, and he kind of freaked Sam out with the sound. This was his playful growl, no, this was closer to the sound he made when that ghost attacked Sam.

The growling grew worse the higher up they went.

Sam was seriously worried now. Hunter's growl was scaring him. Then he saw a bag with his name on it along with a note.

_'Sam, if you're reading this the ward sigils have likely set fire to the apartment. I made sure to get anything you would actually miss and leave it in the bag. If Hunter is really freaking you out, then avoid the apartment altogether as that means a demon tried to attack me. If I got out in time, then I'll call you in the morning. If not, well, Hunter is good at killing anything that goes bump in the night._

_Gabe."_

Sam blinked, then cautiously looked in the apartment with his gun drawn.

It was scorched to hell and back, and he could see where the old papers were as they had burnt into the walls. He could smell the stink of sulfur and see the circle where Gabe had presumably been. The window was wide open, more than enough for Gabe to escape through. He could see the signs of handprints and the smell of sulfur was strongest there.

"Sam!" cried Dean.

"A demon. It attacked Gabe!"

"How do you know?"

"He left a note when the symbols he had all over the apartment started to go off. And there's sulfur everywhere."

"I'm sending these to Bobby. We need to get going now!"

Sam noticed one last note on the table.

_'Almost forgot...all the damages were paid for in advance...told them it was a party. Make sure your brother doesn't shoot Hunter when he really starts to show his worth.'_

Sam blinked. Clearly Gabe had known something bad was coming, otherwise he wouldn't have had time to pack up Sam's things and insure Hunter wouldn't be around when it came.

Thought Dean would deny it, the dog had come in handy and actually scared the ghost from attacking Sam. It had been asleep in the Impala when the thing had shown up, and when the car stopped Hunter had managed to take a bite out of the thing.

Sam had been quite surprised, as a normal dog couldn't effect a ghost.

* * *

><p>Gabe watched the monitors, answering his requests from other hunters for information.<p>

He had developed a very powerful virus that would sent his contact information to every hunter who accessed the internet to research their hunts. A simple pop up add that only a hunter would be able to decipher as a request hotline for information.

From there word would spread about a research monkey who gave accurate info, and his empire would build up again. No more would he be forced to visit every hunter hotspot just to get clients.

The digital age was a wonderful thing. Being a magical hacker able to break through firewalls and wards with a thought just made his enjoyment all the better.


	12. First Alternate, A few months later

_**First Alternate, a few months after the attack on Gabe...**_

Sam was worried about his friend who was far too interested in the occult for his own safety.

At least he never had to worry about Hunter being shot by Dean.

Not only did Hunter always stay on the blanket while in the Impala, but he had the oddest effect on creatures that could rip a normal dog to shreds.

The last time they ran into a ghost, the guy had screamed bloody murder when Hunter bit into his ass. Plus the dog was like an early warning system. Anything evil in nature approached, he started snarling like some sort of monster from hell.

He had saved Dean five times already, yet he never tried to bite him. As far as he was concerned, Hunter was part of the family.

Finally, after three months Gabe called about a hunting trip in an area they knew to have an active Wendigo.

Sam was so worried about Gabe that he agreed to it, believing that Gabe was just an idiot for not thinking ahead.

He would later be kicking himself for not figuring it out sooner.

* * *

><p>"Everyone, inside the circle now!" barked Gabe.<p>

Dean and Sam followed his directions since he had been in the area three days and not attacked by the Wendigo.

The thing howled like the damned, but the look on Gabe's face was cold as he chanted in perfect Latin under his breath. Suddenly it shrieked from pain, and ran off.

"What the hell? I thought you were just a regular hunter?" said Dean.

"What the hell gave you that impression idjit? The warding sigils around the apartment alone should have tipped you off! Not to mention the fact I got the hell out of there when I knew a demon had come to the house!"

"You're like us?" said Sam incredulous.

"I'm a hunter, like you two idjits! And Hunter is a half-hellhound crossbreed I came across."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. That dog is a hellhound cross?" said Dean.

"Normal dogs would be eaten alive against the things I hunt. So long as I remain alpha dog in his mind, he's harmless. He respects Sam as a beta."

"And me?" Dean had to ask.

"You're either an Omega or possibly alpha. It would take a lot to kill a full-blooded hellhound, but that only means he'll heal faster than normal. Oh, and when he starts to get randy, bring him to me in order to get fixed. He'll rip you and any vet to shreds if you tried it," said Gabe.

Dean gave Hunter a look.

"So long as he doesn't mark me or our stuff, I could care less."

"Why didn't you tell me you were a hunter?" asked Sam hurt.

"And drive you out of the apartment? I'm a research monkey who goes on a hunt once a month, if that. Hell, that belt buckle I gave you is one for protection made out of fallen unicorn horn!"

"Unicorns don't exist," said Dean.

"They do, but someone like you wouldn't come anywhere near one. Let's kill this damn thing and then we can talk. And before you ask Sam, I'll explain everything you need to know."

They went in, freed the victims and then found a nice cafe two towns away for pie. Gabe offered to buy the first round of coffee and all the pie Dean could eat.

* * *

><p>"So who are you really?"<p>

"Name's Gabriel Evans, but you can call me Bree if you like. I'm a research monkey who takes on the local hunts around wherever my residence is at the moment, but I mostly make money selling info and locations for possible hunts. The only reason I didn't tell you the full truth Sam was because I realized you weren't interested in doing anymore hunting for a while. So I pretended I was an occult nerd," said Bree.

"Thanks for that," said Sam. It was nice to share his knowledge with someone who believed him, but didn't force him to do anything with it.

"Where did you find the dog though?" asked Dean.

"In a local kennel. Realized what he was and decided to take him him since he would be a good hunting partner. You have any idea how hard it is to actually _hurt_ a hellhound, even a half-breed one, badly enough that it will stay down without mauling you?" asked Bree.

"No, I don't."

"They're tough enough that some demons use them as precursors to warn people that their contract is up. Believe me, they are not pleasant. And eventually Hunter will learn to go all Predator on anything stupid enough to hunt _you_," said Bree.

"Wait, he can go invisible?"

"Hellhounds by nature are invisible to all but certain orders of beings. Angels and demons, for one. And before you claim there's no such thing as angels, all I can say is be glad they haven't taken an interest in you. They are dicks with wings, with the exception of a rare few," said Bree with a growl.

"Met one have you?"

"Zachariah. Bastard pisses me off without even trying. I kick him in the balls on instinct because I can't stand the sanctimonious asshole," said Bree.

"Isn't Zachariah the name of a seraph?" asked Sam.

"I don't give a shit if he's the angel of farting pixie dust out his ass. The man is a complete and unrepentant asshole who deserves to have his balls broken. Besides, he isn't above screwing a human over to get them to agree to something. Uriel is worse though. He'll kill an innocent child just because his older brothers told him to. He nearly leveled a small town just because two idiot witches were trying to bring a high-level demon into it."

"So why did you become a hunter?" asked Sam.

"I was seven and on a camping trip with my mother's sister when my uncle and cousin were attacked by a Wendigo. A hunter found me three days later in a tree and killed it, rescuing my aunt. My fat ass cousin and uncle died of heart attacks hours after they were captured."

"I'm sorry," said Sam.

"I'm not. Vernon and Dudley were complete assholes, not to mention abusive. Them getting killed was the best thing to happen to me, and I am not exaggerating. After that I started training to become a hunter once I was legally old enough to live on my own. Hunters love me because I always double check my info before I send it to them."

"Oh yeah? How do you kill a vampire?" asked Dean.

"Cut off it's head. Stakes don't do shit."

"Shapeshifter?"

"Use silver."

"Ghosts?"

"Salt and iron to distract, then salt and burn the remains."

"Detecting a demon?"

"Holy water, salt, or demon's trap. Which reminds me, take these. Portable demon's traps, activates on contact with anyone possessed. Another big indicator is their eyes turn black, though some have dominate colors like Azazel, who's eyes are yellow."

Dean was about to ask another before that last statement hit him.

"Wait, did you say a yellow-eyed demon?"

"Yeah, that's Azazel. He's been up to something for years now, giving kids psychic powers that activate when they turn twenty-two. Demon's blood is a well-known catalyst for psychic abilities, mostly because it boosts adrenaline and testosterone."

"How many?"

"Over fifteen kids so far. Some of them lose their parents in a fire, but most don't. Rumor among the demons is that he's trying to raise an army for something," said Bree.

"How do you know all this?"

"I give crossroad demons a choice between getting gutted and living. They can either act as informants or I kill them. Most tend to cooperate once they see my favorite weapon."

Bree brought out a modified dagger with familiar sigils all over it. Sam recognized them from their old apartment.

"I can get you two demon killing blades, but it will take a month. The real issue would be finding you once they're ready," said Bree.

"We can give you our number," said Dean.

"Or you could just check your contact information..." said Bree dryly.

Sam blinked then remembered an odd name that popped up in his phone after he entered it in an online ad that was clearly aimed at hunters.

"Wait a minute...are you Monkey Magic?"

"Guilty."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It's my hunter nickname. I sell info to hunters remember? My slogan is that I give you accurate information or your money back to your nearest descendant. Starting rate is a hundred fifty, the more dangerous the information the higher the cost. I send hunt info to anyone interested for fifty bucks, complete with background research and most likely culprit."

"Dude, that sounds way too good to be true."

Bree brought out a laptop and pulled up his site.

"Go ahead and type in the city and state. It will give you the nearest thing to hunt within a day's distance, or you can set it."

Dean inputted the city they were in and state. Five seconds later five different hunts popped up.

"A witch, werewolf, hints of a vampire coven within the last month, and two pissed off ghosts."

"What about the pulsing red dots?"

"Suspicious activity. Usually some idiot brings a crossroad demon out and it sticks around. I have my computer searching sudden successes or overnight winnings and if anything stands out it gets flagged. I do a follow-up and tell the hunters in the area if it's a demon or not. If it's confirmed, I sell the portable demon's trap to any hunters interested so they can safely take them out."

Dean definitely looked interested in the site now. Bree gave them the address (including another one he made as a joke, according to him called Hunter Kill Count which backed up each kill with actual evidence, whether it was a receipt or jail record) and they parted ways.

A month later Bree called Sam and brought two brand new demon-killing knives. He even brought back Hunter, since he had missed the dog...and to reassert his status as the hellhound half-breed's alpha. Dean actually looked happy to have the dog back, despite his dislike of dog hair in his beloved Impala.

"Definitely the omega," snorted Bree.


	13. First Alternate, In My Time of Dying

_**First Alternate, nearly nine months after the Wendigo**_

Bree looked at his phone with an odd look. Who the hell was calling him?

"Hello? They've _what_? I'm on my way straight there!" said Bree.

How they were hit by a semi-trailer he had no idea. All he knew was that someone had seen his number as an emergency contact in Dean's wallet and acted accordingly.

"Gabe!" said Sam.

"What the hell happened?"

"Azazel possessed some truck driver who slammed into us. Dad and I are okay, but Dean's in critical condition," said Sam.

Ever since he revealed himself to be a fellow hunter, Sam and Gabe had become best friends all over again. Gabe sent them on hunts (without making them pay the usual amount) and they kept him in the loop.

"Who the hell is this?"

"Gabe Evans. Fellow hunter and apparently one of Dean's emergency contacts," said Bree dryly. He handed John Winchester the standard demon trap and it didn't react.

"What the hell is this supposed to be?"

"It's a portable demon's trap. Activates upon skin contact if someone's possessed and traps the demon so you can exorcise it. Saved my life twice," said Sam.

"Better than holy water, because the demons generally don't react to picking up a piece of paper," said Bree.

"Which reminds me...have you heard of a demon named Meg?"

"No, but I have heard from the crossroad demon grapevine that Azazel is working with his bitchy daughter and asshole son. The girl has a pack of hellhounds at her disposal, so watch your ass."

"A bit late on that one," said Sam sourly.

"How the hell did they catch your dad anyway?"

"They forced us to waste a bullet on them."

"Oh for the love of _god_ please tell me you don't have that stupid Colt on you! That thing isn't even all that good except as one of the more well known demon-killing weapons!" said Bree throwing his hands up.

John growled at him.

"This coming from someone who can make a knife that even Azazel is wary of," said Sam.

"At least the knife works on most things, and I don't _claim_ that it's a one-hit kill weapon. The Colt isn't the thing that kills the damn demons, it's the specially-treated bullets anyway."

"What?" demanded John.

"All that's special about the Colt is that it's spelled to shoot straight and can open a hell gate. It's the bullets that have been specially treated with several arch angel sigils and blessed with both holy oil and water that make it so effective at killing things. If you don't believe me, take out a bullet and look at it closely."

John took out a bullet from the Colt and examined it. It looked like a mass-manufactured bullet except for the engravings all over it and the fact that it had an odd sheen.

"Now Sasquatch, take me to Dean so I can berate him properly for his crappy driving," said Bree clapping his hands.

"He's in a coma," said Sam.

"Not for long he ain't. Where's Hunter anyway?"

"Dad tried to shoot him, so he's probably sticking with the Impala," said Sam glaring at his father before they left the room. Dean and Sam loved Hunter, who held his own in hunts. He even learned how to do that Predator trick Bree mentioned when he took out a shapeshifter trying to disguise itself as Dean to frame him.

The shapeshifter had to change his form in order to get away from Hunter.

* * *

><p>Bree whistled at the damage.<p>

"Brain damage right? Where's his soul?" asked Bree.

"What?"

"Stay here while I hunt down an idjit."

It took Bree five minutes to find and drag Dean back to the room without looking like a complete idiot.

"You, stay here while I work some mojo to get you back in."

"_**Dude, there's a reaper here!"**_ said Dean.

"Of course there's a reaper here you moron. This _is_ a hospital! Reapers tend to get stationed here," said Bree.

"You can hear Dean?" asked Sam.

"Eh, a small perk of something that happened when I was seventeen and naïve. I can see Reapers and hellhounds. Speaking of reapers...Get in here or sulk outside!" said Bree.

The reaper, a woman named Tessa, came in looking very irritated at him. She said something only Bree and Dean could hear and he stuck his tongue out at her. Then said something that, once again, Sam couldn't hear at all.

"_**Dean here won't die. He's to be Micheal's vessel when Lucifer breaks free. Either I put him back or you get taken over by a rather irritating demon called Azazel,"**_ said Bree.

"_**Master of Death or not, you don't have the authority to heal a human!"**_ said Tessa.

Bree smirked at her.

"_**I'm an angel cambion. I have the power to heal Dean without invoking a demon contract."**_

Tessa gave him a look that said 'Prove it.'

Bree grabbed Dean's soul and placed his other hand on the area where his heart would be. Using a bit of his Grace, he healed Dean and made sure that his soul would go in smoothly. Dean took a gasp of air and nearly choked on the ventilation tube in his mouth had Sam not taken it out.

"What the hell?"

"Heaven is more like it. You should be glad I like you enough to risk putting myself on Heaven's radar this early," said Bree.

"Gabe? What happened?" demanded Dean.

"You were attacked by the same demon your father was hunting. If you hadn't had me on your emergency contacts, I wouldn't have known you needed healing. And before you ask Sam, I'm not healing your dad. I'm not idiot enough to put myself at risk for something he'll survive anyway."

He noted Tessa the Reaper had vanished, most likely to tell Death about this development. Dean wouldn't remember anything from his out-of-body experience, which was a good thing.

Dean was cleared by the doctors to get up and move around, but they wanted to observe him for a while before they allowed him to sign out.

"Sammy, how's my baby?" asked Dean.

Sam couldn't look at Dean in the eyes.

"Sammy?"

"Dean, I don't know how to tell you this but..."

* * *

><p>"Sam, what happened to your brother?" demanded John. Last time he checked, Dean was in a coma and it didn't look good.<p>

Sam looked at Bree pointedly.

"For the last time Sam, I'm not healing your dad. He'll have to suffer through his own idiocy for a bit. The amount of power I used to heal Dean attracted enough attention as it is!"

"What the hell are you?" growled John.

"Not a demon, and most demons hate my kind anyway. All you need to know is that I'm more powerful and hate demons. The only reason I can even keep in the loop is by threatening to kill the bastards if they don't talk," said Bree rolling his eyes.

Seeing the look on John's face, Bree pulled out something from his pocket.

"Dean, take a drink."

"Don't you dare Dean!" said his father.

Dean sniffed the flask, before his eyes widened.

"Why do you carry Holy water in your pocket? It tastes worse when it's warm!"

"To prove to idjits like your dad that I'm not evil. I have a pure silver earring in my left ear for god's sake."

Dean took a drink and then Bree followed suit. Nothing happened.

John kept giving him suspicious looks which Bree ignored with practice ease. He was used to crap like this from Hogwarts for god's sake. John Winchester had nothing on those degenerate gossip mongers.

By the time John Winchester was able to leave the hospital, Sam and Dean had already left to fix the car. It would be a month before he could go out on a hunt again.

If he couldn't tell Gabe was one of the good guys, then clearly he needed to reign in his paranoia. Bobby liked Gabe, and that was all they needed to know.

* * *

><p>Dean leaned down for what they considered their dog.<p>

"Hunter, here boy!"

Hunter barked and ran right to his secondary 'master'. As far as he was concerned Sam was his master after Bree.

Dean took the 'kisses' from the half-hellhound with ease. It had saved his ass when the full blood ones had attacked them and pinned his father down when the demon had taken over him...they wouldn't have known he was possessed had Hunter not started going nuts around John.

Boy had their old man been pissed when Dean stabbed him in the arm. The demon had been even more angry over that.

Dean actually cried when he saw the state of his beloved car. Hunter tried to cheer him up, since it was his favorite place to sleep.

"Maybe Gabe will know someone who can fix it," said Sam.

"I wonder why dad hates Gabe so much," asked Dean. He liked the kid, who did everything in his power to keep them alive, even healing them! As far as he was concerned, the goofy research monkey was practically family already.

"You know dad, he's suspicious of anyone we got close to or felt comfortable around without over a year of knowing them. Remember how he used to act around Bobby?"

Dean grimaced. He had almost forgotten about that.

Gabe showed up a few days later looking like hell.

"What happened to you?" asked Bobby. They were trying and failing to repair the Impala.

"Some moron sent a demon after me. Probably trying to get information, from the way that demon kept asking around the town I was in for the week," said Bree annoyed.

"You don't think..." said Bobby. John had come to him for some odd ingredients, ones which were noted for summoning demons.

"The chances of John Winchester summoning a demon to find out about Gabe when he doesn't stay in one place more than a few weeks? Yeah, I can see him doing it," said Sam.

"He's probably lost the Colt to the demon for the information already," said Bree irritated.

"Your knives work better than the Colt has. It gets the demons without forcing us to reload the damn thing," said Dean. It was his favorite weapon.

Suddenly they all smelled sulfur and Hunter went on the defensive.

"Son of a bitch! These imbeciles never give up!" complained Bree.

There were at least ten demons there, all minor ones. He wasn't about to waste his time trying to kill them, so he started speaking in a language none of them understood. They did, however, notice the way the demons started screaming in fear.

"What in the samhill was that?!" demanded Bobby.

"Enochian. The language of the angels. Demons can't stand to hear it spoken by someone who's pure of soul," said Bree, giving them a half-truth.

Anyone with angel blood could do the same, it was just more likely to run in with someone with demon's blood.

When he found a survivor, Bree trapped it and loomed over it with a disturbing smile.

"Now who summoned a bunch of idiots like you to haunt me?" he asked.

"Some hunter named Winchester! Said he would trade the Colt for information on someone named Gabriel Evans!" said the demon terrified. It could sense what the humans couldn't...that Bree was a high class angel. More than enough for someone of his rank.

"Figures. Where is John Winchester?"

"Cleveland, Ohio!" said the demon quickly. Bree was notorious for allowing the smaller demons go if he got something to use on the bigger fish. He even gave Bree the room number.

"Right, I'm going to deal with this once and for all...and that damn Colt is going to be locked up! I am sick and tired of hearing people go nuts over that bloody thing!" said Bree, his original British accent slipping past the American one he had gained around the Winchester brothers.

He looked at Bobby who said "Get going ya idjit! I don't want anymore demons on my damn doorsteps!"

Bree left and came back two days later with a badly beaten up John Winchester. The brothers didn't ask why their father had developed a sudden fear of him, only that Bree had chewed into him but good for using demons to get intel.


	14. First Alternate, Simon Says and Croatoan

_**First Alternate, episodes Simon Says and Croatoan**_

The first minute Sam realizes that he's dealing with someone who shares his psychic gift, he calls Gabe for help.

"Good grief. This idiot has a twin in the wings...I can sense it."

"Your odd power over souls?" asked Sam. He had only witnessed it once in the hospital and felt it wise not to mention it to Dean.

Especially not after what happened to their father when the demons came to collect him, rather pissed off that he had given the Colt to someone who had no use for the thing.

Even Dean couldn't defend his father for doing something that was absolutely idiotic, like summon demons to get information on someone who had only ever helped them without once demanding payment outside of cash.

As any hunter would tell you, demons have no use for cash. They were more interested in souls.

"Gabe! Glad you could make it!" said Dean.

"Yeah. He's like Sam, only in this case he has a twin brother. I don't think he's behind the murders in town," said Gabe.

"I have a twin?"

"Yup. I looked up your records before I came here once Sam gave me the name. You were split up at birth, but unlike Sam your mother wasn't killed by the demon who goes by the name Azazel. Only a few have ever had that happen," said Gabe.

"So what do we do?"

"Well I do have something that will make it infinitely harder to use his powers...which reminds me, Sammy we'll have to start on your training so I can clean out any demonic influence left in you by the demon. But the easiest method would be to talk to him and see why he's killing people. We may have to take him out."

"I'm not killing my own twin!"

"Who said you were going to do the killing? If he's an unrepentant murderer, I'll be the one to deal with him in a permanent fashion. Whether he lives or not is debatable."

In reality Bree was tempted to show the little murdering bastard what an angel looks like uncensored. Burn out his eyes, or possibly drive him insane by speaking in Enochian with his Grace. He knew that angels could speak without driving a human insane, but the use of Grace when doing so had become an ingrained habit by the time they took a vessel. It was something Bree learned from his dad when he first obtained his own.

Either way this human wasn't going to survive an encounter with Bree. He was just that irritated for Sam bothering him on his vacation to a nude beach in Tahiti.

* * *

><p>Bree ignored the psychic compulsion the idiot was using...really it had nothing on an Imperious with any serious intent. It seemed the twin brother wasn't too bright as he focused his entire gift on Bree who shrugged it off with practiced ease.<p>

"You're a hundred years and a blood war too late to get one of those past me brat. I was able to shrug off the magical version of your compulsions when I was fourteen," sneered Bree.

Sam filed that information to himself. He had long suspected Gabe wasn't normal, but as long as he wasn't trying to kill him, Dean or Bobby he could care less.

Gabe closed the distance and threw the idiot halfway across the concrete with a vicious uppercut. He could just tell Dean was chuckling at that one.

Breaking both his arms and handcuffing him to the railing kept him nice and cozy...a few charms to turn his power back on him would insure he got his just rewards.

Apparently the one Bree labeled 'good twin' didn't have any issues with his brother being in jail. And the girl the evil one planned to kill for dumping his brother had no reservations about claiming he had been the one to kill those people.

A little planted evidence went a long way, more so when the police weren't checking for magical sources.

* * *

><p>The second time Sam interrupts Bree's nice little vacation (he has his information service down to an art form, and word of his site directing hunters to hunts in the local area have netted him a nice little nest egg) they were in Oregon on an odd case.<p>

Considering Bree remembered his history very well after doing their Hunter bio, he agrees to meet them just outside of town at a nearby diner.

During the first repeat, Bree had gone to every single private and public air port so he could memorize the apparition points. A few charms would dissuade anyone from messing with his little box, not that the sign didn't keep any interested parties from bothering him.

As far as the American Ministry was concerned, he was a wandering British wizard who took up hunting in his spare time. So long as he didn't break any of their laws, they agreed to ignore him.

A few discreet bribes for diplomatic immunity didn't hurt either.

Bree discreetly checked the Winchester Brother bio and a list of hunts before he narrowed down what they were dealing with. He was almost rather smug at the fact that he would be immune to the virus, as would Sam and Dean considering the angels would never allow them to be taken over by something as simple as the Croatoan virus...not this early anyway.

Besides, he'd long since learned that specially treated holy water could erase the virus...so long as it was boosted by angel's blood anyway.

* * *

><p>"Gabe!" said Dean grinning. Beside him was a very well trained hellhound half-breed, who Bree had long since given to Sam since the brothers had grown very fond of the wolfhound.<p>

Hunter was a respectable two hundred pounds, and his claw caps which were in fact his natural claws given silver properties, hence the coloring, and very intimidating. He had a spiked collar (probably Dean's idea) and was far more vicious than any normal dog because of how well trained he was. Hunter would never harm humans unless there was something _in_ them, or they were just pretending to be human like a shapeshifter. His natural black fur, which was lined with red streaks, was clean and well groomed.

Dean didn't mind giving Hunter a good brushing if it meant avoiding dog hair in his precious car.

But most of all were the eyes. Hunter's eyes had been a warm brown when Bree had originally gotten him, now that brown was streaked with some inner light that any real demon would recognize.

In short he had come into his full hellhound heritage, though he only loyal to Sam, Dean and Bree. Besides, Dean had no issue spoiling Hunter with any pie he had left and didn't want.

The three drove into town, with Bree using his odd little mini-printer to make more demon traps.

"What's with the printer?" asked Dean.

"I've found you can print a demon trap off a computer so long as you use a certain type of ink...usually I just pay off some suppliers for blood bags donated by the Red Cross with the ink and use that. Instant demon traps without cramping your wrist, just add the final touch."

"Nice. Mind sharing it with Bobby?"

"Who do you think helped to mix the first batch of donated blood and ink? Another fun fact is that these activate only when it comes into contact with anything demonic. Hunter can touch them because he is a hellhound, but anything with constant demon taint won't be able to escape."

Sam looked back at Bree.

"Hey Gabe, I've been meaning to ask... the demon said he had plans for me last time we ran into him. Any idea what he meant?"

"Rumor among the demon grapevine is that Azazel is breeding soldiers to fight in the war against heaven. You were just one of the unlucky bastards picked...though from what I heard you have a different destiny waiting for you," said Bree.

"What destiny?" asked Dean, pausing after he parked the car.

Bree flipped his coin, then shrugged.

"You two are the true vessels of Micheal and Lucifer. At some point Lucifer breaks free and he'll be gunning for Sam when he gets out. When that happens angels are going to be on both your asses, mostly so they can force Dean to act as Micheal's vessel. You have to give consent in order to be used," said Bree.

"Since when do demons need consent to steal bodies?" demanded Dean.

"Lucifer is a former arch-angel. He may have made demons, but he isn't one."

"You're telling me _Lucifer_, Satan, is a former angel?"

"He refused to bow to humanity like all the rest, so God cast his ass down to hell in a cage. Lucifer was pissed so he made demons to harass us, the first of which was named Lilith. Real bitch, that one."

"One of these days you have to tell us how you scare demons that badly without being one."

"Maybe once we're out of here," said Bree.

* * *

><p>It took all of two hours before they were barricaded inside the local doctor's office because of the Croatoan virus.<p>

And exactly five minutes to see how effective Gabe's portable demon's trap were against it.

"How do we know you're not infected?" asked Dean to Gabe.

"I'm immune to something as weak as a demon virus," snorted Bree.

"But why?"

"Let's just say it's in the blood. Demons can't possess me, and this virus can't take hold."

Dean snorted.

"I don't know what you are Gabe, but you're not a demon that's for damn sure. Demons don't side with hunters or just demand cash for their help...and they certainly don't drink holy water without screaming."

Bree grinned at him. At least Dean had more common sense than his father ever did.

"I do have a question...how do you know all this stuff about us?"

"Mostly time travel, combined with being able to cross worlds. The reason why the site is called Monkey Magic is because I'm a research monkey who uses magic. I prefer to hunt without it, so people like your father won't try to kill me on sight," said Bree.

"You're too good to need demon or pagan help. So long as you're on our side, you can hang with us," said Dean.

"So what is this virus?"

"It's called the Croatoan virus. If blood from an infected gets into an open wound, then in a few hours that person gets infected. It's a demonic virus that's a pain in the ass to deal with, because people become more like zombies from some crappy Romero movie instead of rational people. There are few ways to treat it, mostly because it's a pain in the ass to get the one thing that can treat demon blood infections," said Bree. He reached into his bag and pulled out a familiar looking bottle.

"Is that holy water?"

"More like super charged holy water. It's been treated with angel's blood and stirred with unicorn horn. It can purify most demonic taints, though I've never tried it with the Croatoan virus yet."

They drew some blood from Mr. Tanner, who Dean shot, and Bree measured out a small amount of 'super holy water' into the dish. The doctor looked at it through the scope and was amazed.

"The water seems to be eradicating the virus with a vengeance. I've never seen a medicine work that fast."

"Angel blood does _not_ like demon taint. And the rate of infection is pretty high...the whole town might be infected by now."

"How do we know if someone's infected or not?"

"Two things. One is the circle I had printed out on that paper I handed Mrs. Tanner which trapped her, and the other is Hunter. He can smell things like this."

"Dogs aren't allowed in clinics," she said firmly.

"Hunter is not a normal dog, and frankly I can clean up any mess he makes before it becomes an issue," said Bree flatly.

"The roads are blocked," said Dean.

"Thought so. In any case anyone who comes into contact with the outside will have to hold onto one of the special demon traps I printed out and allow Hunter to give them a sniff. If he stays calm, they're clean. If not then we'll double check with the holy water. Anyone infected will start screaming like the damned, but it will clean them out."

Three others came from the outside. The soldier, a girl, and the one that Sam had seen in his vision killed by Dean.

They tied him up when the demon's trap took full form and branded the markings in the ceiling and floor.

"And we have the culprit. Those traps don't react unless you have a demon riding in you..." smirked Bree.

"Have I ever mentioned how much I love those portable devil traps?" said Dean.

"No, but Bobby damn near kissed me the first time it saved him from a demon riding in his neighbor. I had to use an entire bottle of mouthwash," said Bree. Dean laughed.

"What the hell is going on?" demanded the old man.

"This little idiot has a demon inside of him...he probably let the virus loose to draw us in."

"Then why have I been having visions about this?" asked Sam quietly.

"You had a vision of the kid getting offed?" said Bree. Sam nodded.

He looked at Dean with amusement.

"Well that explains who it is. It's not a girl or Azazel...so it must be his son."

Bree walked in with a blade Sam recognized as Bree's favorite. The kid took a deep gasp of shock at the sight of it.

"Recognize what this is do you? Very difficult to get your hands on an angel blade, let alone one of this type. One hit of this and you're a dead demon. Now start talking and I might ignore your existence," said Bree with a cold smirk. He hated demons.

And so the demon-possessed fool started talking. Apparently this was a test to see if Sam would be immune to the virus...the rest were just pawns to draw them in. Finally Bree left Dean in there with the demon kid, who he stabbed in a painful but non-fatal place killing the demon.

Azazel would be pissed when he found out who killed his son and how.

"What about the rest of the town?" asked Sam.

"Two options. Either we force feed them the special holy water...or you two can stay here while I deal with them. They can't infect me...though I will explain why later."

Dean let him go outside and Bree cast some silencing charms that would withstand what was about to happen.

All the people inside the office heard were the screams of pain as Bree dealt with the infected.

When asked later, all he would tell them was that he did a mass-exorcism that was extremely painful for the infected. They would live, but that was it.


	15. FIrst Alternate, Houses of Holy

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* * *

><p><em><strong>First Alternate...after Hunted and during Houses of the Holy<strong>_

Sam and Dean were about to get pie, after sending a fellow hunter to jail. Sam was feeling like crap and Dean felt no remorse for anyone who wanted to hurt Sam.

"Hi boys, how's it hanging?" asked Bree.

"Son of a...Where the hell have you been?" demanded Dean.

Gabe had vanished without a trace after Oregon, without telling them anything.

"Sorry, had to get a few things for you two chuckleheads first. Anyway if you want answers let's find someplace quiet."

Dean found a secluded space right next to where Bree had parked his TARDIS shaped house. Sam looked giddy at the thought of going in there.

"Welcome...to my crib!" said Bree grinning.

Hunter barked as he found his way to his food bowl, which Bree had filled ahead of time. He was wagging his tail big time.

"What the hell?"

"In here not even the angels can spy on us, so I can tell you almost everything. First off, my full name is Gabriel Evans Winchester. I'll explain that last one last. Second, I'm not fully human, but I am something demons rightly fear."

"What are you?" asked Sam.

"I...am an ascended Angelic cambion. Most people mistakenly call people like me Nephilim, though believe me you don't want to met an actual nephilim," said Bree, releasing his angel wings.

"You're an angel?" said Dean.

"Half. My dad was an angel vessel by chance, and mom didn't know even when she died. The proper term for someone like me is angelic cambion, as normal ones are actually demonic. Now, the second thing you need to know is that my human half is actually magical in origin. Before I ascended to full cambion, I was a wizard. Any questions?"

"How did you deal with the infected in Oregon?"

"I spoke Enochian, which is what the angels use as their language, while flaring my Grace. Purged the virus right out of them, though they'll be half-deaf because of it. I made them believe there was an explosion, which I planted, that ruined their hearing."

"Okay, then what about this?" asked Dean gesturing to the place around them.

"A perfect recreation of the Time and Relative Dimensions in Space, or T.A.R.D.I.S. for short. You know that light above us? Well I have a spell that flips a special time-turner that will take us to any point in the past and I can switch it around to take us into the future. A few charms and this thing can take us anywhere in the world...I was on a topless beach outside the Bahamas last time you called me to deal with the virus."

Seeing Dean's look, Bree walked outside and shrunk his car.

He placed the 'model' on a shelf with low-bars around the bottom and inputted where he wanted to go. A few grinding sounds that had Sam grinning with glee, and Bree gestured at the door.

"I dare you to open it," he said. Dean eagerly did so, then gave him a look.

"Is this where I think it is?" he asked.

"A topless beach with cheap booze? Hell yes!" said Bree cackling.

"The only thing that would make this perfect would be..." said Dean.

"Your precious Impala here to impress the girls? What do you think is on that shelf over there? A simple shrinking charm and you'll never worry about those annoying boots the cops use on cars," said Bree smirking.

Dean nearly squealed with glee as he watched his friend return his baby to normal. Sam watched with patient amusement.

"Should we leave Dean here for a few days?" he asked amused.

"Why don't you ask him that?" said Sam.

"Right...let me give him a fake passport and all that good stuff and we'll hit someplace more interesting," said Bree with amusement.

Dean gladly accepted the fake passport and card loaded with three thousand American dollars...and directions to the nearest 'pay-by-hour' hotels and went to enjoy his first vacation in a long time. Bree had promised to pick him up when he was ready to come back home.

Then he took Sam with him to the hidden library of Alexandria, which everyone assumed was destroyed.

Sam dove into the books with glee and accepted the glasses that would allow him to read in whatever language he wanted. After that they went drinking for a few hours and crashed in the house.

After a week Dean and Sam were back on the road hunting, infinitely more cheerful than they had been before. At least they finally had a vacation away from hunting for a while.

* * *

><p>The second they realized they might be dealing with an angel, Sam immediately called Gabe.<p>

"Hey Bree, we have a case you might be interested in... Well all signs point to angels... people have been claiming that an angel told them to do it. So it's not angels?"

Dean looked at Sam, who was clearly disappointed it wasn't an angel.

"Well?"

"He said that it's not an angel. If it were, then they wouldn't be using people who have no faith to do the killings. We're more likely dealing with a ghost," said Sam disappointed.

"Told you," said Dean.

He was inclined to believe Gabe being half-angel, but the idea of an angel using prostitutes and druggies to kill immoral bastards? Not a chance in hell.

As Sam went to deal with the ghost and Dean dealt with the guy that said ghost sent him after, he wondered how Bree knew it wasn't an angel right off the bat.

Another random thought was if Bree knew any arch angels. He would have to ask the next time they ran into him. Too bad the priest in charge showed up...but on a plus side he got to see that the ghost priest pass on, which was nice.

* * *

><p>Bree snickered as Dean all but devoured the pie he made. He knew his cooking was good, particularly anything with sugar in it. Sam chuckled around his coffee, just how he liked it. He knew how good a cook Gabe was, since he was usually the one he tested his concoctions on.<p>

They spent more on groceries than they did on restaurants, it was just that good.

Bobby was just glad the boys had found someone they could trust to have their back so he could have time off himself. Last time Bree showed up, he took Bobby on an all expenses paid vacation to someplace sunny for a week without asking for anything in return.

That more than anything convinced Bobby he wasn't evil. No one evil could possibly take a hunter to an uncharted island off of Tahiti and not ask for anything in return. And the fact he could drink holy water like it was a shot glass, wore silver earrings and was immune to salt and demon traps was more than enough to convince Bobby he wasn't evil. He was just too nice.

Well...that and the fact that Bree gave him more books for him to deal with the supernatural baddies out there. And organized his library for him, from useful ones and helping him replace the ones that were full of crap.

The fact he felt _safe_ in a demon and ghost proof room had only been the clincher. Nothing truly worth hunting would feel safe in a room meant to keep bad things out, or feel so at ease to actually fall _asleep_ in it!

"Dude, you are my new god," said Dean around his apple pie.

"Ironically Loki said something similar after we became roommates and I cooked a cake with enough sugar to kill a diabetic with a single bite. He all but claimed me after that one," chuckled Bree. And that was the only reason Loki had let him stay around so long as to call him brother.

"Loki is real?"

"Real and a total sugar-crazed nut. If you want to know it's him, get him some fruity drink laced with enough sugar to make you sick and watch him drink it. Anyone who can handle my special 'Sonic Screwdriver' with extra chocolate liquor is definitely a possible trickster."

Dean choked on his pie.

"You've made a drink called the sonic screwdriver?"

"It was after a _Doctor Who_ marathon...oi, don't give me that look you grease monkey!" said Bree playfully.

"Nerd."

"Jock."

"Bitch."

"Ass."

"Feather duster!"

"Pie demon."

Sam choked a laugh at that one. So did Bobby.

"Bookworm!"

"Man-whore."

Sam and Bobby were watching this exchange with open amusement. Bobby even made some popcorn as the two traded half-hearted barbs at each other.

Finally the two called a truce and broke out laughing.

"You're alright Gabe!" said Dean with a grin.

"Thank you Mr. I-have-an-angel-as-a-Fate-Bond."

"What?"

"You heard me. The one your destined to be with is an angel, a Seraph to be exact. Not telling you who though...that would ruin all my fun at your reaction and I don't have any cameras on me!"

"Angels are real?"

"Very real, but they aren't interested in helping humans at the moment. Hell they think we're below them and wouldn't hesitate to kill someone just because they were ordered to by another angel. I believe the most popular nickname for them is dicks with wings," said Bree.


	16. FIrst Alternate, Born Under A Bad Sign

Bree was awoken in his bed after another fun day in Japan learning how to use a proper samurai sword (he was taking bushido lessons out of boredom in a small village that still practiced it the way it should be) when he heard Dean's panicked voice.

Apparently Sam hadn't come back and he was worried. And his first instinct was to call Bree for help, since he had told the brothers that he could hack the phone's GPS to find them whenever he felt like it. Sam always had his phone on him. The only reason he hadn't called immediately was because he had Hunter try to find his brother first.

Hunter was uncannily good at locating Sam within ten miles.

Bree immediately hacked Sam's phone and found him. It took him a moment to figure out what was going on, and he was less than pleased.

It was Azazel's bitchy daughter, he was sure of it. Wouldn't she be in for a nasty shock once she realized what the belt buckle he gave Sam actually did.

* * *

><p>The demoness growled at the stupid belt buckle refused to cooperate. She had been stuck in Sam's body for several hours and he needed to use the restroom. Suddenly she touched the sigil and cried out in pain.<p>

"What the hell?" she said in Sam's voice. Sam suddenly laughed at her, realizing what was going on.

"Shut it Sammy," she sneered. She grabbed the buckle fully...before she found herself in a ball made of pure energy, and Sam looking at her in surprise.

"Only Gabe..." he said amused. He had fought her hard enough in the initial take over to keep her from branding him, so she could be exorcised. If she hadn't been so preoccupied with the belt he might not have been able to force her out.

As if he could sense her shock and confusion at this sudden turn of events, he smirked at her.

"Unicorn horn willingly given and Enochian sigils made with Grace. Guaranteed to keep a demon occupied long enough to exorcise. Speaking of Gabe..." said Sam, sensing his friend coming up to the door.

Gabe was whistling a song from his favorite band, _Linkin Park _when Sam opened the door.

"She try to take the buckle off?" he smirked.

Sam nodded in amusement. Then he remembered a pressing need, and ran to the bathroom.

Bree looked at the ball of malevolent energy with a sneer worthy of Snape at his worst.

"What's the matter? The big bad demon bitch couldn't handle a simple angel glyph engraved on a unicorn horn?" he said with a smirk.

He could hear her scream profanities to make even a seasoned sailor blush from the mist. Being a cambion had it's perks. He finally grew tired of listening to her bitch about his trick with the buckle he had given Sam nearly three years ago and brought out the arch angel blade. She shut up in a hurry from shock.

"Much better. See I have no need of any information you could give about Azazel or Lucifer...and yes I do know about Lilith preparing to break the seals if Dean is ever sent to hell. You just had the bad luck of pissing off the Walker who already has experience with killing your kind."

He could sense her terror as she registered what he just said. Heaven wasn't the only one who feared the Walker, demons were terrified of him even more, because most of the time he went on a killing spree until the balance was restored.

A Walker easily had the power to destroy them so completely that not even Lucifer could restore them.

Sam was standing next to Bree with a curious look on his face.

"What's a Walker?"

"Someone picked by either God, Fate, Death or one of the immortal powerhouses that even Lucifer wouldn't poke with a stick at to restore the balance. Usually God or Fate though. Demons are terrified of them, more so than angels because Walkers, or Walking Men, can destroy them so utterly that they can never exist again. The angels have likely figured out I'm a cambion of some sort who got his hands on another angel's grace, but if they find out I'm the Walker they'll go ballistic. Now what should we do with this pain in the ass?" asked Bree.

"Kill her for all I care. Somehow I get the feeling you don't actually need any information from her, and if she tried to give you any you would kill her anyway."

"You know me far too well," said Bree with a grin.

The demon screeched in fear and started babbling in hopes he would at least not destroy her completely.

Being sent back to the pit as a ghost was better than that!

Bree cocked his head at some of the information she gave him...things like the Leviathans being locked in the pit, how Lucifer's sealing would only be the first in a wave of even stronger evil. Some of the information would be useful later, so he decided to humor her.

"I'll give you two options. Either you go back into the pit and don't come back so long as I'm around...or I can just kill you now. Some of that information has made me...reconsider...destroying you utterly."

She practically screamed for the pit once he gave her the option. No way in Lucifer's name was she going after the Winchesters twice if they were protected by a Walker!

Bree broke the containment spell, and the black smoke rushed downward to safety. He wouldn't bother going into Hell...not where Lucifer could sense his grace. Once was quite enough thank you!

* * *

><p>"Sam!" Dean rushed to his brother's side, Hunter keeping pace with him.<p>

"I'm fine. Gabe's belt buckle captured her before she could actually do anything."

"Unicorn horn belt buckle with an Enochian containment spell. The second she fully touched the thing to remove it, it removed her. Demons hate that spell."

"She was so busy trying to remove it that she couldn't brand me like she planned."

"Brand?" said Dean.

"There is a demon glyph that can make it impossible to exorcise them the old fashioned way. It has to be applied within the first forty-eight hours or it can be removed. Because she was so eager to get the belt off, she didn't have time to brand him with it. You should have heard her cussing when she realized I was the one to give it to Sammy," smirked Bree. Dean snorted in amusement.

"So what now?"

"Now we get some sleep in a place that's actually clean and I'll join you for a while. I'm bored," said Bree.

In reality it was because he knew they were going to run into Gabriel next, and he wanted to see the show.


	17. First Alternate, Tall Tales

_**First Alternate...Episode: Tall Tales**_

Bree was snorting with laughter when he finally ran into Gabriel. He had heard how the professor was offed, and he had to admit it was funnier watching the guys stumble about first hand.

Loki gave him an odd look.

"I remember you...but I don't know why. Who are you?"

"Come on Gabriel, quit pretending. We both know you remember getting killed by Lucifer in that hotel and then waking back up exactly where you were at the point Mary Winchester was killed by Azazel," said Bree flatly.

Loki, no Gabriel, winced visibly.

"Maybe this will help you remember?" said Bree, taking out a familiar sword. Gabriel's eyes widened comically as he brought out an identical copy. Right down to the last detail.

"Who...what are you?" he asked.

"Name's Gabriel Evans. I'm a Walker sent to correct the alternates since things kept getting so screwed up until a hundred and thirty-five versions in. I'm not about to mess with your fun, but I will be watching you prank Dean and Sam," grinned Bree.

Gabriel suddenly grinned, as he caught to the double meaning.

"Is that a challenge I hear?" he asked eagerly.

"Let's see how long it takes them to catch on that they're being pranked. They already know I was once Loki's roommate, so it should be entertaining to see their reaction," smirked Bree.

"You're on kid! Just don't stab me with the sword okay?"

"Why the hell would I stab my own father?" asked Bree loudly, enjoying the fact that Loki/Gabriel stumbled and fell flat on his face from the shock. He had tripped on the sidewalk.

"You're kidding right?"

"Not a chance. A hundred and thirty-five alternates in you take James Potter as a vessel and I ended up being born. I was thrown back all the way to the beginning by Fate and now I'm making my way all the way back to my own alternate."

"Okay, now I really want to show you up," said Loki grumpily. The kid had timed that statement far too well for it to not be a set-up.

Bree laughed as they proceeded to prank the Winchesters.

* * *

><p>"Dammit Gabe, how did you manage to play that heavy metal crap?" demanded Dean.<p>

"It's Metal, not heavy metal. And _Linkin Park_ happens to be an awesome band," said Bree snickering.

"Yeah, well how the hell am I supposed to change the damn music?" asked Dean.

"You're not," said Bree, trying not to smirk.

Bree had a spell which would allow him to play _his_ music instead of Dean's. Considering he didn't have many rock songs in his music player, this meant he was all but torturing Dean with different genres of music. Sam had nearly laughed himself sick at the look on Dean's face when Bree played Irish Tenors.

Of course that was nothing compared to the look on _both_ their faces when Bree on-upped Loki by setting Sam's laptop on a series of Wincest sites. It had taken Sam fifteen minutes to realize that the guys in the pictures/fanfics were him and Dean. It had taken Dean twenty minutes.

Loki still hadn't stopped laughing when he heard about their reactions. Apparently both brothers nearly heaved when they realized what they were looking at. The worst part was that Bree had locked the computer so it could only go onto _those_ sites.

He had told Sam that it was impossible for him to clean up his computer as his had gotten a virus. That was how he covered up why he wasn't helping either of them at the moment.

"Besides, who said I had anything to do with why your precious cassette tapes can only play a different genre than they are labeled?"

"Come on man! Enough is enough!" said Dean.

"Not my fault," singsonged Bree.

Actually it was, but he wasn't telling Dean that. He sniffed loudly.

"Either of you smell something?" he asked.

"UGH! It smells like dead fish!" said Sam, rolling down the window to get some air.

"YUCK!" said Bree, practically jumping out of the seat when he realized there was a dead fish under him.

Hunter whined.

"Everybody out of the car!" said Dean in disgust.

It took them ten minutes to find the dead fish (there were three, one for each hunter) and exactly two seconds for Dean to notice his tires had all gone flat.

"Son of a bitch!"

It only got worse from there.

Sam found lube in his gear. Dean found dead mice in his. They were so pissed at each other that they never considered Bree to be the one doing most of the more amusing ones.

In reality it was more along the lines of a competition to see how long it took the brothers to call Bobby for help.

Bree was able to cover his non-involvement by hiding behind his site and pretending to call other hunters in different languages. He couldn't wait to see the looks on their faces when they found out Bree had been helping Loki prank them.

Though really, using the tabloids for ideas was just so boring in his opinion. Surely Loki could do much better.

* * *

><p>Bobby came in an hour after Dean found another dead animal in his car. This time it was a rat in the glove box. He was pissed at whoever kept leaving them in his baby.<p>

"I think it's pretty obvious what's going on here. You've got a trickster on your hands," said Bobby.

"Loki, to be more precise. Hey Bobby."

"What?" said Sam.

"Yeah, Loki's been hanging around campus pranking people. I noticed him immediately and challenged him to a prank war about a week ago," shrugged Bree.

"You knew he was here and didn't tell us?" said Dean, outraged.

"I knew the whole time. Hell, most of the good pranks were my work. Loki's been using tabloids for ideas," said Bree smirking.

"You put the lube and the mice in our bags," said Sam.

"The lube and the computer thing was my doing, as was the ever changing music in the car. The dead animals were all Loki's fault. Though I did leave a rat in Dean's glove box an hour ago."

Dean looked ready to strangle Bree for that.

"Though I have to admit, the look on your face when you realized what you were reading was hysterical. I have pictures!" cackled Bree. Bobby came over to look at the digital camera and he actually snorted in amusement.

"What the hell did you do to make them look like that?"

"Don't ask," came the twin responses of Sam and Dean immediately.

"Which reminds me, Loki and I are going out drinking in a bit. Ta!" said Bree laughing. He vanished before Dean could hit him with something.

* * *

><p>Bree and Loki downed another sonic screwdriver (the drink Bree made especially for Loki) with a grin.<p>

"To pranks!" said Loki.

"To the look on their faces when they realized they were reading a Wincest story with smut!" cackled Bree. Loki laughed with him, as their reaction had been particularly amusing.

"How long you in town?" asked Loki.

"Right up until they try to stab you with something. I enchanted their best knives to kill demons but they might try to borrow the sword. I've already hidden the Impala, and Bobby should be willing to drive them back to his place to regroup."

Bree's last prank was to hide the Impala in his place and leave a note on Sam's computer that he was going. They would have to leave with Bobby in order to go on another hunt.

Loki and Bree both got drunk off their ass, as the prank war had been quite enjoyable.

"So...any chance I could join the Trickster groups once this whole end-of-the-world nonsense is finally done?"

"Kid, with how good you are I wouldn't doubt that you could join today!" said Loki.

"Almost wish I could! Being the Walker sucks, if it wasn't for the look on demon's faces when you tell them who you are!" said Bree, completely drunk.

Loki almost immediately sobered up.

"You're the Walker?"

"The innocent who fell into hell to save the condemned while dragging the damned. Even brought back Lucy's Grace with me when I ascended," said Bree, dragging his thumb along a thick chain that ended in a vial that was fairly big. Loki's eyes almost doubled at the sight of it.

Finally Bree toppled over from drinking one too many vodka shots. Loki gingerly carried him outside the odd mini-bar that the kid had brought him to (he would have to ask what the deal was with the blue box later) to the first bed he found. He still had to finish this off anyway.

The second he stepped out, the blue box (with the words Police Public Call Box emblazoned in white paint along the top) made a wheezing groan and vanished.

Maybe one of the amusing Winchesters would know what the deal was.

* * *

><p>"Where is Gabe?" demanded Dean. He planned to prank the hell out of the guy for all the crap they put him through.<p>

"Last time I saw the runt, he was sound asleep in that weird blue box of his, dead drunk. That kid can put away the vodka!" said Loki cheerfully.

Apparently they believed him about that. How odd.

"Coincidentally what's with the blue box anyway?" asked Loki.

"It's a magical recreation of the T.A.R.D.I.S., off an old show called _Doctor Who_," said Sam, eying Loki warily.

"Huh...might have to try that series. So, shall we boys?" grinned Loki.

Sam suddenly got the feeling that staking Loki wouldn't do a damn thing.

"Is there any chance we could convince you to leave here without a fight?" Sam asked.

Loki looked at Sam surprised.

"Sammy, we don't deal with monsters!" said Dean.

"Dean, this Loki reminds me too much of Gabe to kill him. Hell, they even look alike!" said Sam in his defense.

Dean paused and actually _looked_ at Loki. Now that Sam mentioned it, he did look far too much like Gabe. They had similar faces and mischievous eyes.

"The only difference is the hair and eyes. Staking you won't do a damn thing will it?" said Dean suspiciously.

"Nope. Had to give the hunters something to work with!" said Loki far too cheerfully.

Dean and Sam shared a look.

"Touch my car or leave dead animals in the Impala again and you're a dead Trickster. I don't care if I have to _make_ a way, I will end you," said Dean seriously. He was still trying to get the fish smell out!

"Fair enough."

Bobby was very grumpy because he had to drive the idjits back to his house, since Bree had hidden the Impala. He actually cursed up a storm when he found the prankster in his kitchen with fresh pie and the Impala parked out back. It was clear Bree still had a hangover.

Dean took far too much pleasure in being loud for the rest of the day as payback for the crap Bree put them through.


	18. First Alternate, Hollywood Babylon

_**First alternate, episode Hollywood Babylon **_

Dean and Sam were checking out LA when they heard a phone ring. It had a song that wasn't from their time. Looking around, Sam spotted a familiar face.

"Gabe?!"

"Yo Sammy!"

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm playing an angel who comes to save the heroine in some cheesy horror flick. Apparently the director overheard me correcting the chick's Latin, because their translation was totally botched."

"Dude," said Dean, tapping Sam on the shoulder when he spotted the main character in the film.

"I can get you guys on the set if you want," grinned Gabe.

"How the hell did you get on a movie?" asked Sam.

"One, I'm a hot guy who can speak perfect Latin. Two, I actually know a thing or two about the supernatural. And Three, I sorta confunded them into thinking I was the guy who saves their ass at the end of the movie," said Gabe.

"So what, you're the angel who sweeps in to save the hot chick?" said Dean.

"Yup."

"That is so unfair," said Dean.

"You can be my assistant, and Sammy here can be an extra," said Gabe.

"Count me in!" said Dean.

"Why are you even here?" asked Sam.

"Because some idiot put an actual necromantic summoning ritual in a damn movie and I felt the chick reciting it out of order," deadpanned Gabe.

Now Sam knew why he was there. Gabe would never let something as annoying as necromancy pass.

"Besides, the dumbass director has me doing the ritual since I can speak Latin better than Tara."

Gabe leaned against the trailer.

"The irony is that the original script was actually pretty good. I can't wait to see the guy's face when I blast the spirits back to wherever he called them from using the counterspell," grinned Gabe.

"So why do you need us?"

"Screentime anyone? Besides, I need you to keep deaths down to a minimum."

* * *

><p>"Found our summoner...little shit doesn't even understand why forcing a ghost to murder is a bad idea," chuckled Gabe.<p>

"So what are we going to do?" asked Sam.

"Depends."

"On what?"

"If the dumbass knows what happens when you brake the talisman. I've read ahead of the script. When confronted by Sammy, he does the stupid thing and breaks the talisman controlling them. They get pissed and kill him, while the director puts the whole incident in the script."

"And you're here again why?" asked Sam.

"Screen time. Might as well have some fun with this, besides how often does someone like me in up in an actual movie that isn't a porno?" snickered Gabe.

"Good point," said Dean.

"So when do we nab this loser?" asked Gabe.

"Let me finish lunch," said Dean.

The kid who summoned the ghosts didn't make it, as Gabe had correctly guessed that he would break the talisman without realizing the consequences.

Before they parted ways, Gabe slipped something around Sam's wrist.

"What's this?"

"Emergency dog whistle. Azazel's going to make his big move soon, and I would rather not see you dead. You activate this by concentrating on Hunter, and he'll appear wherever you are. I already attached the other end to his new collar. This activates, I come straight to wherever you are," said Gabe.

"What's his big game?"

"He doesn't need soldiers Sam. Demons are stronger and more useful than any psychic. He needs someone to lead them, someone with the gift. Which is why I'm also giving you this. A kit for any demon you come across. It has salt, iron, the works. Keep it on you at all times," said Gabe seriously, handing Sam a bag.

"What is he going to do?"

"Last man standing. He only needs _one_ psychic Sammy. If I help you now, then Lilith has trouble grabbing Dean later," said Gabe bluntly.

Dean had to sell his soul in order for Lilith to take him to hell.

"Gabe...what do I do?"

"Azazel can't bring out his army. If one of the psychics goes missing, then stay together," said Gabe seriously.

Sam spent the better part of a month memorizing Hunter's appearance. When the time came he would have to call the hellhound to him, otherwise he would be in serious trouble.

Three months after Gabe slipped the bracelet on Sam's wrist, he went missing in a diner full of dead people with sulfur in his wake.

The race to find Sam was on.


	19. First alternate end and Second Alternate

_**First and Second Alternate, Ep: All Hell Breaks Lose, part one **_

Sam woke up in the middle of nowhere and realized that this was what Gabe warned him about.

The first person he found was Andy.

"Sam?"

"Andy?"

"Where are we?"

"I have no idea."

They managed to find Ava, who had gone missing months ago. But something didn't seem right to Sam.

There were five people in all in the town. After Jake ran into an Acheri, he knew what he had to do.

"I'm calling in backup," said Sam.

"You got a signal?" asked Jake.

"Not exactly," said Sam. He concentrated hard on Hunter.

"_Hunter, come,_" he said calmly.

They all turned when they heard a bark. Sam leaned down to pet his dog.

"What the hell? Where did the dog come from?" asked Jake.

"I brought him here. A friend gave me a way to call him no matter where I am," said Sam.

Hunter barked.

If Gabe was right, then telling them Hunter was half-hellhound wasn't a smart move.

"If you can bring your dog, can't you get us out of here?" asked Ava.

"Doubtful, but Hunter's well trained. If any more demons come at us they'll be in for a nasty surprise," said Sam.

Something about Ava wasn't adding up and the fact Gabe had warned him the last time he saw the brothers that several psychics who fit the age requirements were already dead after abruptly going missing...well, Sam had a sneaking suspicion what was really going on.

He knew not to trust Ava. At all.

* * *

><p>"Gabe! Sam's missing and Hunter hasn't come back," said Dean.<p>

"Dammit... Well at least Sammy knew to call Hunter at the first sign of trouble."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I gave Sam a bracelet that would call Hunter no matter where he was. If he summoned Hunter to him, then he's already in trouble with demons. Azazel's had his little psychics fight each other to the death in a contest to see who would lead his army."

"Shit. Where's Sam?"

"I don't know...but I do know that whoever is there killing off the others is in for a nasty surprise."

"What do you mean?"

"I've been training Sam's gift on the sly. He's a hell of a lot stronger now than any self-trained psychic, because I already knew how to bring out his gifts. If trained properly he can even exorcise a demon with just his mind."

"How do we find Sam?" asked Dean.

"Well, we can either wait for someone to give us a hint...or we can wait for Sam to find the note I left in Hunter's collar."

Gabe shrunk Dean's car and they went inside Gabe's place.

"Now what?"

"We wait for Sam to call us," said Gabe grinning.

"How?"

"Remember the Nerd Bag? Well the Sonic Screwdriver I gave Sammy to play with has a signal that will pop up on the screen here. All he has to do is activate it and we'll find him."

"What is with you and the Nerd Bag anyway?"

"I found a surprising number of clients back in the magic school I attended for working replicas of familiar science fiction and fantasy series. I even have a working light saber and Han Solo's laser gun. Hell, I had a booming trade for Leia's slave girl outfit that would resize to fit any girl!" said Gabe.

Gabe had a sudden idea of what Dean might do if he dressed his fate-bonded up as Han Solo...and chuckled evilly. Maybe when Cas finally showed up.

"You have Leia's slave girl outfit that can fit anyone that buys it? How have you not been laid yet?" asked Dean.

"Want to hear the worst part?"

"What's worse than the fact you've got that costume and don't have a hottie to go with it?"

"I died a virgin," deadpanned Bree.

Dean turned and gave him this look, like he couldn't believe the words Bree had just said.

"You actually _died_ a virgin, with those looks?" said Dean, his voice calm.

"Oh no, I died looking like this," said Bree, shifting to his Harry Potter form, complete with scar.

Dean nearly fainted from shock, not that he had changed shape but because of how...girly...he looked.

"You're kidding right? You died without a single hour of hot monkey action with a girl or guy looking like _that_?" said Dean incredulous.

"I left school at fifteen, traveled with you and Sam in my alternate, and between that spent most of my time with my roommate who viewed me as a younger brother before we learned he was actually my dad. Between that and the magical war, I didn't have _time_ to have any of that kind of action. I was too awkward at that age."

"That does it, come hell or demon apocalypse you are getting laid one way or another. Sammy's a nerd to the core, but at least he's not a virgin at twenty!"

"I'm technically three years younger than him, though my current age is 22," said Bree dryly.

"That's even worse!"

As Dean spoke vehemently on how he was so getting Bree to pop his cherry one way or another, he almost didn't hear his friend say "We have a signal."

* * *

><p>Sam had just barely saved Andy when he heard the whirling sound. He had found an odd set of bumps under his hand when he grabbed Hunter to keep him from mauling Ava.<p>

He had picked up braille from an ex-girlfriend he had before Jessica, and had kept up the trick to reading that language thanks to Gabe leaving him books on how to train his natural powers to avoid alerting Dean.

Under Hunter's collar were the words 'Sonic Screwdriver Signal', though it took him three tries to realize what it meant.

Sam immediately reached into his pocket to get the tiny device, which Gabe had given him as a joke gift for his birthday. It saved time compared to lock picks.

He had only just lowered the thing when the familiar sound of the TARDIS came into hearing.

"Sammy!"

"Dean!"

The soldier leveled his weapon at Dean.

"I ain't dying here."

Jake had just killed Ava to avoid dealing with the Acheri again. The only reason he hadn't killed Andy was because Hunter stood between him and Sam.

"Right, Sam, Andy, Dean, duck and cover," said Bree.

Sam and Dean heard from Bree what seeing an angel's true form would do. Sam threw Andy down on the ground while Dean covered his eyes.

Bree flared his wings, and Jake cried out in pain. Because he wasn't a full angel, he couldn't burn out the man's eyes...but he could blind him pretty good.

"Clear!"

"What the hell?" asked Dean.

Bree got Andy and Sam into the TARDIS, and Hunter curled up on his bed.

He knocked out Jake and removed the memories of being in Cold Oak and healed his eyes.

He dumped the soldier back in Afghanistan and left the people there to think that he had been there the entire time.

"What the hell is going on here?" asked Andy.

"The demon who dumped you there, he only needs one of you to open the gates of hell. The one psychic who lived would be the leader of his army, so he pitted you against each other. Too bad for him I have contingency plans for that nonsense. So long as two psychics are alive, he won't have anyone to lead his little army," said Bree with a smirk.

* * *

><p>Azazel was beyond pissed. Not only had that brat ruined his little game, but he was hiding Sam and Andy, the last two. The soldier, Jake, had his particular gift removed and his memory wiped clean.<p>

All that was left were Sam and Andy...yet for some reason they were so thoroughly hidden that he couldn't even sense them through the blood connection.

He would kill this Gabe Evans for ruining his plan.

Bree shivered.

"I do believe Azazel is extremely pissed at me. How fun," said Bree bored.

"What the hell are you man?" asked Andy.

"Angelic cambion. Most people mistakenly call people like me a nephilim if that helps."

"And what did you do to Jake?"

"Blinded him, then fixed him up so the demon wouldn't bother him again. See he needs a psychic laced with demon's blood to lead his army and well, you lot were the unlucky bastards picked. All I have to do is hide one of you, and he never gets to open the gates of hell," said Bree with a smirk.

"How did you get rid of the corruption?" asked Dean.

"Angel's blood is the perfect counter. See Lucy didn't exactly want his creations to turn on him, so he made a failsafe in the form of his blood. A few drops of angel's blood and Jake was back to being human."

"Can you do that to me?" asked Andy.

"You really want that power gone? You would have to learn how to train it properly on your own, but I can removing the amplifier the demon gave you."

"I don't want to accidentally kill Sam," said Andy. He had also gotten the same dream as Jake had. He actually liked Sam as a friend.

"Are you absolutely sure?" asked Bree.

Andy nodded. Bree opened up the cut he had already made and handed a small amount to Andy.

"To remove the demon's blood, you have to ingest Angel's blood. Drink that and all that power will be forced to relearn the proper channels."

"But I'll still have it right?"

"It will be a little harder, but yes, it's still there."

Andy downed the drink without hesitating. He could feel his power flare briefly before it died out.

Bree handed another cup to Sam.

"Here. You can choose to remove the demon's influence once and for all."

Sam didn't hesitate either, he drank it immediately. His power also flared, but it didn't die down like Andy's did. It just went back to the vision-level.

"So what now?"

"Now we leave Andy with all the know-how to avoid being picked up by demons and you two get back to hunting."

It was a rather odd feeling, cutting off the first seal before it even broke. But nowhere near as odd as what Azazel did to Bree once he found him by complete accident.

* * *

><p>Bree took one look at the demon's eyes and swore.<p>

"That does it, I am never going out for groceries every again dammit!"

The demon sneered at him and threw him back into the past...only this time he didn't show up in his house.

He couldn't be in two places at once and he was too weak to shift into his Harry form. He couldn't stop Jake from killing Sam.

He watched in horror as Jake used the rusty knife to kill Sam in the back. He watched Dean appear with Bobby at the worst time. But then he noticed something.

Hunter wasn't there, and neither was Andy.

He was in the wrong alternate.

"Sam!"

Bree grabbed a bottle of whiskey from his bag, and tossed in one of Patrick's special coins. It activated immediately.

He pushed Dean out of the way and forced Sam to drink it, the wound closing once the magic took hold.

"What are you..."

Sam took a deep gasp of air as the shock hit his system.

"Dean?"

Dean looked at Bree, his eyes not recognizing him.

"I don't know who the hell you are or what you did to Sam..."

"The name is Bree and I just used up one of my special poker chips to reverse Sam's age by an entire year. I couldn't heal him fast enough to save him, but I can reverse it since the magic had already taken hold."

"What are you?"

"Not important right now. That bastard Jake is going to open the gates of hell," said Bree.

Bobby ran back once he lost sight of Jake and he gave Bree an odd look.

"Who's this?"

"Gabriel Evans. And don't bother with holy water, it won't affect me anyway."

"He saved Sam's life," said Dean.

"The yellow-eyed demon must have thrown me into another alternate...or tried to kill me. Either way I ended up here almost too late to stop you from making a deal," said Bree.

"How did you save Sam?" asked Bobby.

"Ever heard of the legendary poker player who bets years instead of cash?"

"I have," said Bobby.

"I've beaten him out of a hundred years, which I don't have a use for at the moment. One of the side effects of losing a year is that any injuries you take are automatically removed. You're just lucky I got here in time to give him that drink with the poker chip in it," said Bree.

"It tasted like whiskey," said Sam.

"It was whiskey, ya idjit. The chips are set to activate upon contact with liquor."

Bobby tensed at the use of his way of saying idiot.

"So now what?" asked Dean.

"I'm calling my house. There's no way in hell am I sleeping in here. And I don't know how to slide between alternates on my own just yet."

"What do you mean alternates?" asked Bobby.

"The worlds be remade a 135 times because you two morons couldn't seal or kill Lucifer properly. I ended up in the past because a certain dick with wings known as Micheal tried to kill me. This would be take three I think."

"How can you tell?" asked Bobby.

"Take one, Micheal tried to kill me again. Take two which is where I came from, you two have a half-hellhound named Hunter and Sammy was my roommate in Stanford. I just finished removing the demonic blood from Sam and Andy when I went out for groceries and got nailed by Azazel, the yellow-eyed demon. Next thing I know I'm back in Cold Oak and Jake had just stabbed Sammy somewhere fatal."

Bree went outside the house and pulled out...

"Is that a Sonic Screwdriver?" asked Sam immediately.

"Behold, the great and powerful Nerd Bag! Beloved by all nerds for it holds working replicas of most sci-fi and fantasy series!" said Bree deadpan. He then proceeded to bring out...Han Solo's gun?

"Whoops, meant to get the light saber."

"Got Leia's slave outfit?" joked Dean.

"Funny you should ask that. Last time I saw you, I mentioned that very same outfit and then you went on a rant about the fact I have never been laid before. You were planning to kidnap me and drag my ass to a strip club, as I recall."

Dean gave Bree an odd look.

"Why would I be close to anyone who openly admits they use magic? And why would we have a hellhound for a pet?" asked Dean.

"Bloody hell. Long story short, I am a hunter, have been since I was fifteen and back in my own alternate. I've been a research monkey who helps idjits like you on hunts for a minor fee, and my full name is Gabriel Winchester Evans. The reason you trust me, Dean Winchester, is because you're a good friend of mine and I tend to help Sam every time he's in trouble."

"And what makes you think I'm the same as the others?" asked Dean.

Bree had had a long, annoying day, so he went to the end of his secrets.

"Because, Dean Winchester, you are a faithless man who doesn't believe in angels or god. Because I'm the closest thing you'll get to a trump card against someone like Lucifer and the only one who can tell the angels to piss off without getting killed for it," said Bree, flaring his golden wings.

All three hunters took a step back in shock.

"You're an angel?" said Dean.

"I'm an angelic cambion. Humans call my kind Nephilim, which is incorrect. The only difference between me and a full fledged angel is that I was born human an partially ascended to my full angel heritage without the weaknesses."

Bree flipped the device so that his house would appear.

Apparently Sam had figured out something went wrong, because there was a loud bark from inside. Bree's face lit up.

He opened the door to reveal a massive wolf with red streaks.

"Hunter!"

Tapped to the inside of the door was a note.

"_Gabe, if you're reading this and Hunter's in there, then I can only assume Azazel caught you off guard. Come visit us when you figure out how to slide back and forth on your own instead of being thrown into the alternates by a near death experience. Sammy._

_P.S., Dean will kidnap you the second he sees you and take you to a brothel."_

"Well at least one of you idjits have some sense," muttered Bree.


	20. Second Alternate, All Hell Breaks Loose2

_**Second Alternate, Ep. All Hell Breaks Loose, Part Two**_

Sam looked at the half hellhound warily. It whined and all but begged for a good ear scratch.

"You're the one who named him Hunter, a bit of a joke I believe. Hell, you're the one who usually takes care of him until this mess," said Bree.

Bobby looked at Bree with something akin to distrust.

Bree rolled his eyes.

"Just so we're clear Bobby, I consider your little panic room in the basement my safe zone. Hell, you usually joke about it being my room whenever I sleep over."

"What?" said Bobby.

"I consider your panic room my safe zone. Whenever I come over to your house that's usually the place I sleep in. You don't care less because I never touch the beer down there," repeated Bree.

"How is it that something like you is so comfortable around us?" asked Bobby.

"Because usually I ease into your lives! I couldn't sit there and watch Sam die and then live with the fact that Dean would make a deal with a bloody crossroads demon! If I hadn't done anything, Lilith would have used Dean's deal to drag him down to the pit and break the first seal on Lucifer's bloody cage!"

"What is so important about Sam?" demanded Dean.

"Azazel needs him or one of the psychics to cross a massive demon's trap to open a crypt and break open the gates of hell. He has the Colt...but then again so do I."

"What?"

"I have the Colt. All that's really special about it is that it can open the gates of hell. It's the bullets that can kill demons," said Bree. He snapped his fingers.

"Which reminds me. Put these on," said Bree.

He gave them each an amulet, except for Sam.

"What are these?"

"Remember Andy's trick to convincing people? This blocks it," said Bree.

Ellen stumbled into the house. Aside from being shaken, it was her.

"Who the hell is this?" she asked.

"Hi, I'm a half angel who's stuck cleaning up after the Winchester's mess and can tell an arch angel to shut his cake hole without being killed for it. Whiskey?" said Bree flatly.

"Huh?"

"I'm an angelic cambion stuck cleaning up the mess these two idjits have left, as the world has been remade over a hundred thirty times because they couldn't seal Lucifer."

Seeing her blank stare, he yawned.

"Damn. Sleep deprivation has weird effects on me. Normally I don't spill the beans the minute I see you two. First I prove you can trust me then I tell you the truth," yawned Bree.

Hunter whined next to him, and Bree idly scratched his ear.

"What's with the dog?"

"He's half wolf, half hellhound, and he's trained to help hunters," said Bree.

Ellen blinked twice.

"You have a hellhound for a pet?"

"Half. And he's a good sidekick. He knows who the alpha of the pack is," said Bree, yawning widely.

He had been up for nearly two days now, and he was running on fumes. He needed sleep.

"Wake me when we reach the cemetery. I can deal with an open hell gate, or at least give those damn demons something to worry about...besides I want to that yellow-eyed bastard down for throwing me out early so you can kill him with the Colt," yawned Bree.

"What the hell makes you think we're bringing you?" demanded Dean.

"You know anyone else who can mass exorcise fifty demons at once?" countered Bree.

"Only fifty?" joked Sam.

"I can get an energy boost, but I'm not wasting it on something as annoying as this," said Bree.

That and absorbing Grace tended to give him a trip to Heaven, which was fairly annoying. He only had to stop the gate from opening to ruin Azazel's day.

"Damn it, I need sugar, and lots of it. I swear Loki is rubbing off on me," said Bree getting up.

"Loki? That damn trickster?" growled Bobby.

"Loki the sugar fiend is more like it," growled Bree. He reached into his bag and brought out a chocolate frog biting it's head off viciously.

"We sure he's not a demon? He just bit that frog's head off," said Ellen.

Bree rolled his eyes, and Sam noticed something.

"Is that frog...hollow?"

"Chocolate frogs. It's a hollow frog made of chocolate spelled to move once the box opens. They only stay active for about five minutes before the spell wears off," said Bree by way of explanation. He tossed Dean another sugary treat and he took a rather large bite out of it before he spat it out in shock.

"Dude, what the hell?!"

Bree laughed long and hard.

"Cockroach Cluster."

"I just bit into a cockroach?" said Dean in disgust. Sam was trying (and failing) not to laugh.

Bree popped a Blood Pop into his mouth.

"And what's that?"

"Blood Pop. After making these custom for Sam so many times I acquired a taste for the regular kind," said Bree.

"Why would I eat a sucker made of blood?"

"Because of the demon's blood addiction you had, or might have later. Angel blood counters demons every time. Now are we going to deal with this mess or not? I would like some damn sleep before the end of the world!" snapped Bree.

* * *

><p>Bree was snoring big time with Hunter on his lap.<p>

"How are we supposed to wake the so-called angel?" asked Dean.

Sam took out a flask and threw holy water on him.

"For the love of...that shit doesn't _work_ on me ya idjit! And a simple we're here would have sufficed!" snarled Bree. He was not a happy camper.

Hunter whined a little as he got hit with the water droplets, but it wasn't nearly as painful as it was for a full hellhound.

As only half, he just didn't like getting wet.

Bree got out of the Impala and stretched.

"Time to kill a soldier and deal with some demons. Some days it doesn't pay to go grocery shopping," said Bree.

"I think you mean wake up," said Sam.

"No, I mean grocery shopping. This is the _fourth_ time I've been attacked by something unpleasant while getting groceries! At this rate I might as well get a damn house elf to do it to avoid going!" sniped Bree.

A thought occurred to him.

"Take these. If you see a demon, stab the bastard and be done with it. Far easier to use than the damn Colt," said Bree.

"What are these?" asked Dean.

"Demon-killing knives, with Enochian sigils carved into them. All you have to do is stab a demon, and it gets killed. And it draws less panic than the Colt does around normal civilians."

"You can make demon-killing knives?" asked Sam.

"Make? I'm the primary manufacturer among hunters for God's sake! A little bit of Angelic Grace, some Enochian sigils and a spell to keep it sharp... you realize how much cash I've raked in selling them to hunters who specialize in demon lore?"

"How are you not dead yet?" asked Dean.

"I have a degree in demonology, I can speak an exorcism without looking it up and in perfect Latin, and I usually travel with the Trickster known as Loki. Demons are the least of my worries," deadpanned Bree.

They walked into the graveyard and the look on Jake's face? Well, he was quickly more concerned with Hunter's snarling.

"The way I see it, you have two choices. Put down the gun...or I have Hunter here maul you," said Bree flatly. He wasn't in the mood to be nice.

"I have a better idea. Point the gun at your head," smirked Jake. It was clear he was directing his attention solely on Bree.

"Yeah no. Hunter, bite one of his legs," deadpanned Bree.

Jake screamed loudly as Hunter went for him.

"Why..."

"Why aren't I affected by your little Jedi mind trick? Demon powers don't affect me moron. Hunter, Colt," said Bree.

Hunter went from mauling Jake's leg to biting the Colt's barrel and bringing it to Bree.

"Good boy!"

"Who...what are you?" gasped Jake.

Bree unleashed his wings.

"You pissed off an angel's son, one who happens to be allied with the Winchester idjits. It was just _your_ bad luck I was thrown right at the time you stabbed Sammy here in the spine with that rusted knife. Not your smartest play there soldier-boy," said Bree.

Bree handed the Colt over to Dean.

"Just so we're clear here, the second you leave the railroad area he will jump you. Do try not to loose the bloody gun," deadpanned Bree.

He vanished with a whirl of wings and reappeared in his bed.

He left a sign on his box stating "DO NOT DISTURB UNLESS LUCIFER RISES FROM PIT. OTHERWISE, BUGGER OFF."

Hunter curled up next to him and he snored like a chainsaw.


	21. Third Alternate, last half of Pilot

_**Third alternate, last half of the Pilot episode**_

Bree woke up two days later...and found that he was in _another_ alternate.

"God I hate this. Worse than a damn hangover!" said Bree.

There was a knock at the door. Bree activated the lights above it which became an instant devil's trap. He opened it...and found Loki there.

"You know who I am?"

"Gabe Evans, Sammy's roommate/hunter pal. The dog behind you only proves it. What the hell man? You up and vanish and Sammy went nuts trying to find your ass!"

"Which retake is this?"

"Fourth by my guess. First three Lucy is sent back to hell or never leaves it, but last time the Winchesters got killed off. Demon killed them and had some dumbass human set the demon's gate wide open."

"It was late and I was exhausted. By the time I left that place I was too tired to be of any use without getting an immediate trip to heaven in the process, and I'm not that stupid," said Bree flatly.

"You ever figure out how to do the slide thing yet?"

"I apparently did it in my sleep. Hold on a moment..." said Bree, touching the wood of his 'house'. He could still sense the energy from the slipstream.

Apparently it was an odd balance of time-jumping via Grace and apparition used by wizards. The reason why he kept getting thrown into different points of the Winchester adventure was because he kept either over or under using the time travel bit.

"Wonder if I could use Hunter as a focal point to find that one Sam who was my roommate."

"Be interesting if you could. I thought you were supposed to save all the alternates but you jumped mere days before that last one was wiped out."

"I saved Sam and kept Dean from making a deal. The demon killing them did in fact save that alternate, because he took out the vessels remember?"

"Time travel makes my head hurt. Can I come in for a drink or not?" asked Loki.

"You're planning to do something that will make me want to maul you later, aren't you?" asked Bree.

"What makes you say that?"

"Usually when _we_ go out for drinks you get me to do these stupid ass stunts that make me punch you in the face. So out with it, what's the scheme this time?"

"Switching you for Sammy boy in the nursery. I want to see Azazel's reaction to the fact he just sent an angelic cambion to be the leader of his army...only for said leader to exorcise the entire lot of them before they even get out."

"The fact I could send Johnny boy to heaven is just a perk, right?"

"Yup. I'll leave you on their doorstep, then have Sammy kick up a fuss so that John takes him downstairs..."

"And drops blood in me, which won't do a damn bit of good considering I'm half angel," said Bree, getting the idea.

"Bingo!" said Loki.

"On _one_ condition..." said Bree.

"What's that?"

Loki didn't even see the fist coming towards him. He ended up splayed on the ground flat.

"You take care of Hunter until I 'find' him and convince Johnny boy to let me keep him."

"And the punch?"

"Consider it payment for dosing me just now," said Bree flatly right as the magic of the chips Loki had dumped in his drink took full effect.

Loki looked at the sixth month old infant, and a simple confundus made everyone believe Mary had twin boys when she had Sam.

He was going to avoid Bree until the guy cooled off first...though he was nice enough to leave the little 'charm bracelet' Bree used to call his house to him around his wrist along with the notice-me-not charm so John wouldn't remove it.

Hunter whined when he saw Bree.

"Easy boy. You'll be staying with me for a while," said Loki, petting the hellhound.

Say what you will about the breed when raised by a demon, but when trained by an angel, they were more loyal than the Winchester brothers were to each other. In any alternate.

Too bad his brothers couldn't look past their breeding to consider raising one. He might have to pop into hell for a bit to get his own puppy.

* * *

><p>John heard Sammy stir up a fuss and picked him up. Sammy wouldn't quiet down so he let the kid sleep next to him on the couch. He lightly dozed off while Mary went to check on Gabriel, Sam's twin.<p>

Hadn't that been a shock, finding out she was going to have twins. One they named after Mary's father, the other they named after her favorite arch angel.

John woke up to hear Gabriel crying like mad, and went to check on him, taking Sam with him.

He noticed blood drops and looked up in shock. On the ceiling was Mary, covered in blood.

"NO!"

He handed Sam to Dean, and grabbed Gabriel once it was clear he couldn't help Mary. That was only the start of the madness.

* * *

><p><em>Stanford, 22 years later...<em>

Sam took his bat and prepared to hit the idiot who broke into their apartment.

He got gut punched and had the bat removed by a very familiar face.

"Gabriel?"

"Hey bro. Long time no see," said Gabe.

"Dean?"

"Hey Sammy."

"What are you two doing here?"

"Dad's gone missing. He was hunting and then all of a sudden he stopped talking to us. He's even turned off his phone so I can't hack his GPS," said Gabe bluntly.

Sam had always been the smart one, but Gabriel had always been smarter. While Dean and John hunted, Gabriel took online college courses out of boredom. He had several degrees, mostly in technology and a few in the occult.

"What about Hunter?"

"Hunter can't find him either," said Gabe. Said dog whined beside him.

Hunter was a half breed that followed Gabriel home when he was thirteen. John wanted to shoot him, but Gabe refused to let him. When he took out a werewolf about to bite Gabriel and saved Dean, well, John let him live but always kept an eye on him.

Hunter was more like a pet wolf most of the time instead of some evil hellhound out to maul them to death, unless something big and bad was around. He didn't even like _demons_, and considering most hellhounds tended to listen to a demon, that had come as a large shock.

"What do you need me for?" asked Sam.

"We need help, and he was your father too," said Gabe.

"I can't! I have an interview on Monday!"

"Consider this a weekend off from worrying about school. You think you're the only lawyer in the family?" asked Gabe.

"You passed?" asked Sam.

"I'm on the bar and everything. Who do you think gets Dad and Dean out of jail when they get busted?"

"I love the insanity defense," said Dean.

"You would. Most hunters are by nature either suicidal, insane, psychotic or just idiots from the south," deadpanned Gabe.

"And which are you?"

"Bored. Hunting deer isn't nearly as fun as hunting a ghost," said Gabe.

"This coming from our own private research monkey?" said Dean.

Gabriel had never been much of a hunter, but he had his uses in other ways.

For example, he could speak a Latin exorcism without looking it up. He could figure out what they were hunting and how to kill it in fifteen minutes or less, and he found a way to carve sigils into a knife so it could kill things that normal knives couldn't.

He was the family's research monkey, and he made good money off fellow hunters selling info. John was very proud.

"One last hunt, and then we come back," said Sam.

* * *

><p>"Hunter, attack," commanded Gabe while Sam and Dean were pinned.<p>

Hunter went hellhound in a hurry, and bit the ghost. It screamed like the damned, attracting the attention of the two ghost children upstairs.

"Dude, I've said it before and I'll say it again. I love our dog," said Dean.

"Technically he's Gabe's dog," Sam reminded him. He would listen to Dean, Sam or John, but he only really obeyed Gabriel.

"He's our dog, but he knows who's the master of the pack," said Gabe, "I'm taking a nap. Your records of arrest were already erased and I stole the files when I went in. Night ya'll."

Gabe fell sound asleep in the back and was snoring like a log.

"I never will get how he can fall asleep so damn fast...he's as tall as you are and he never complains about being cramped," said Dean.

"Modern day mystery," said Sam dryly.

* * *

><p>Sam walked into his apartment...and found salt everywhere.<p>

"Jess?"

He found Jessica, shivering like crazy from shock.

"What happened?"

"There was a man...he tried to come in! He had the most awful yellow looking eyes...I think he had rabies or something!" said Jessica.

All around her was a thick coating of salt and what looked like iron filings.

"What's this?"

"Your twin, Gabe, he said that someone was coming after you. If I saw yellow eyes I should dump this all around me..." sobbed Jessica.

"Gabriel told... How did he know?"

"The yellow-eyed demon who came after mom, he has plans for you. Plans that don't include Jessica being alive," said Gabriel, stepping past the large salt line with ease.

"What?"

"The yellow-eyed demon is after you Sam. After us. He killed mom and he will kill Jess if we don't do something to protect her," said Gabriel. Dean walked up beside him with Hunter at his side.

"What are you talking about Gabriel?"

"Look, if I hadn't given Jessica that bag, the yellow-eyed demon would have killed her like it did mom. You have two options. Either you stay on guard and she dies anyway, or you can let her go and we kill the bastard so you can come back to your normal life," said Gabriel bluntly.

In the end Sam allowed Gabriel to use his gift to wipe Jess' memory so she could live. The demon would have no reason to target someone who was 'in a coma' as long as Sam was on the road.

It was going to be a _long_ two years for Gabriel.


	22. Third Alternate, Tall Tales

**Just to clarify here, I wrote up to chapter 37 of this story BEFORE I made Demon Bounty Hunter. I just keep forgetting to post the new chapters.**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Third Alternate, Tall Tales<strong>_

Sam and Dean were pitching a fit. Mostly because Loki had screwed around with them and Gabriel was waiting for his chance to beat the crap out of his arch-angel dad.

Apparently he was ripping off Gabe's ideas, because Sam's computer was stuck on Wincest porno and Dean's radio wouldn't stop playing old country music.

Gabriel fixed Sam's computer in ten minutes, and then hit Loki with a rather unpleasant prank of his own.

Now ever time he tried to manifest those hotties he liked, he would get horny dwarf women complete with beards and Victoria Secret's skimpiest lingerie.

He could hear Loki's screams of outrage from his spot in the Impala. Revenge was sweet...or in the case of Loki's sugar addiction it tasted like outdated cough syrup.

* * *

><p>"YOU!" shouted Loki annoyed.<p>

"Paybacks a total bitch isn't it..._Loki_," said Gabriel smirking evilly.

Dean and Sam paused on the stairs when they heard Gabriel say the name outright.

"You two know each other?"

"What, you think I spend all my time as a damn research monkey? I'm a borderline trickster for god's sake! I've been pranking his ass since we came into town!" said Gabriel.

"I know you're the one messing with my sugar dammit. And behind those dwarf women trying to jump me!" said Loki.

"Oh please. It's not _my_ fault you tried to steal my ideas. I mean really, Wincest fan art? And that country bit was so lame!"

"You knew?!" demanded Dean.

"I knew since we set foot in town that it was him. I turned all his sugary treats into awful things that taste like expired cough syrup and all his hotties become dwarf women with massive beards wearing stuff from the more expensive half of the Victoria's Secret catalogs."

To his credit, Dean shuddered along with Loki.

"That is just _wrong_," said Dean.

"Yeah, but way more satisfying than just stabbing him and be done with it," smirked Gabriel.

"Evil!" said Loki.

"Besides, it's not like a stake with the blood of a lamb will actually do a damn bit of good. I mean I put a warning on my site that this idjit is damn near unkillable, but if he pisses you off then the best method is to shoot a bullet in his ass because the stakes don't work," said Gabe smirking.

"You're the reason all the hunters have been just shooting at me?!" said Loki.

"I _am_ a master prankster. Besides, it's not like the stakes actually kill you or anything," said Gabe.

"But shooting me hurts worse!"

"I know. Especially cursed bullets."

"I hate you right now," said Loki.

"Wait, if the stake doesn't work..." started Sam.

"Loki, I will end my revenge a month early if you shove off to a new location," deadpanned Gabriel.

"Deal. How long until this ends by the way?"

"Two months more instead of three," said Gabriel.

"You suck."

"I love you too Loki," grinned Gabe.

"Evil!" said Loki before he vanished.

"I can't believe you know Loki," said Dean.

"I can't believe your pie addiction hasn't given you diabetes," countered Gabe.

Sam ignored the familiar bickering of Gabe and Dean with ease. He had plenty of practice, though occasionally they dragged him into it.

"So how the hell did you prank Loki of all people?"

"Easy. You know all those times I'm stuck alone while the two of you actually_ hunt_? I play poker with whatever demi-god is around. I'm considered an honorary Trickster by the gods, and Raven agreed to help me prank Loki next time I see him. All I got to do is snap my fingers and he has to deal with whatever I can come up with."

"You play poker with demi-gods?" said Sam.

"What else am I supposed to do? My site and phone service runs itself after all and it's not like hunters really trust my demon-blades unless they actually summon a crossroads demon. Might as well use them as poker chips for favors and certain powers," said Gabe.

Which was an annoying fact. Only those who knew and trusted the Winchesters even used his blades, despite the fact they did work.

"So what all can you do?"

"I have most of the powers of a trickster, I can make the Impala holy territory so demons will never drop in unannounced again, oh and I get a nifty little ability to see hellhounds even when they're in predator mode."

"That's it?" asked Dean.

"Considering the other hunters want to shoot me anyway because I'm part of that generation psychic? Yeah," lied Gabe.

"Why didn't you tell us this sooner?" asked Dean.

"Because we're Winchesters. We're known to shoot things for not being human. I bet you would stab a damn angel before you realized what it was," said Gabe. Which actually happened when Dean first met Castiel.

"He has a point. We aren't exactly known for being understanding around anything not human," said Sam.

"Yeah, but he's our brother!"

Gabe inwardly winced. He was so not looking forward to that psychic death match.


	23. Third Alternate, All Hell Breaks Loose

_**Third alternate, All Hell Breaks Loose one and two**_

Gabe woke up with a groaning Sam close by. Apparently he had piqued the demon's interest enough to kidnap him too, since it had taken a few displays of psychic ability that Sam _should_ have had for him to figure out that he had dosed the wrong kid.

He didn't know who or what Gabriel was, only that he had apparently inherited a few powers and was a Winchester.

Most likely a cousin, but still a Winchester.

Gabe and Sam dozed off after salting all the entrances.

It was Gabriel who ran into the demon in the dream first though.

* * *

><p><em>Dreamscape<em>

"_Who are you?"_

"_Gabriel Winchester. I can't wait to kill you,"_ _said Gabe bored, leaning on the wall._

"_A research monkey kill me? When your so-called brothers and father couldn't? I think not. And last I heard, Loki was still angry over the prank you pulled on him."_

"_He'll get over it," said Gabe, waving off Azazel's mock concern._

_More like he would let Loki prank him back and they would be even. Or he would cook up a few specials. Loki was a sucker for his chocolate cake._

"_Now see, I know for a fact Mary only had _one_ boy, never twins. And yet John had Sammy with him the night I dosed you by mistake. So who are you really?"_

"_Someone who is well aware that the only special property that Colt actually _has_ is that it's spelled to open a demon's gate in Wyoming, and that your true name is Azazel. See, now that you've dosed me, I have to fight in this little game of yours. If I win, then you'll try to bribe and threaten my family to get me to open the gate and lead your demon army. Problem is that you'll never be able to threaten my birth father without being killed outright for it."_

"_You're a clever one, I'll give you that. You have more facts than even that little girl out there does," said Azazel amused._

"_I also know that you can't force me to kill Sammy, and without a psychic left standing you can't have a leader for your army. And let's not forget how pissed Lucy would be if you killed Sam before his time," smirked Gabe._

"_What?"_

"_You kill Sam, Lucifer will be pissed at you. Enough to kill you himself I bet. See I know what Lilith really is, and I know what happens if Lucifer rises."_

"_What are you?" demanded Azazel, frightened now._

"_Fun fact...while you may have dosed me with your blood, it didn't even work. The abilities I've displayed are all mine...not manifested by your blood. And since you've overstayed your welcome, bugger off," said Gabe, raising his hand. Azazel hadn't even noticed the fact he had been carving an Enochian sigil to banish him from the dream. Azazel cried out in genuine pain when the thing activated._

* * *

><p><em>In the waking world...<em>

Gabe slapped Sammy a bit to wake him up before Azazel ruined his fun.

"Sammy, get up."

"Gabe? What was that for?"

"Yellow-eye's been cruising around dreams. Unless you want to hear what that pompous bastard has to say."

"He's what?"

"He just paid me a visit. Have you seen him?"

"I just dozed off," said Sam.

Gabe grinned. It wasn't a comforting one.

"I beat him to the punch, goodie!"

"Ava's missing," said Jake.

"She knew the consequences of leaving the salt line. Either she's an idiot or she's trying to break us apart. And she's been missing longer than any of us have. Who's to say she doesn't actually _remember_ what happened to her?" said Gabe.

"Should we look for her?"

"If she's alive, she'll come back to base. If not, well, I'm not sticking my neck out for her," said Gabe flatly.

"That's a bit harsh," said Andy.

"Not harsh, realistic. What if she's been here this whole time picking off other psychics like us? This should be considered an active war zone, considering we're surrounded by hostile forces. Until we figure out how to escape alive together, we should consider all the variables," said Gabriel.

"He has a point. I mean we don't know what Ava can really do, or even if she's been telling us the truth about what happened to her," said Jake.

"And why is she looking at us from across the street?" said Gabe.

"What?" said Sam.

"Right there, behind the general store. She's hiding behind there. If she really was trying to stay alive, why hasn't she taken a salt bag with her to fortify her defenses?" said Gabe.

Sam had no answer for that. It does seem like an obvious move to take the salt bag with them in order to ward any demon they ran into. And he could see from where he was that she had left the iron weapon that all five of them had on the table.

"How is it that the research monkey of the family has more common sense than I do?" asked Sam out loud.

"Because I'm good. I knew about Loki being there while you two bickered over who did what didn't I?" said Gabe.

"That was because you already knew what Loki looked like!"

"Eh, actually there was another reason, but we need to deal with that annoying Acheri demon outside."

"How?"

"Sammy, which one of us knows the damn exorcism chant by heart and speaks in actual Latin?" smirked Gabe.

"But Hunter isn't here to cover you!"

"Predator mode, dumbass," said Gabe smirking even more. Sam banged his head against the wall for missing something so obvious.

Gabe brought two fingers to his mouth and whistled sharply.

"_Hunter, kill!_" said Gabe in Latin.

A lone howl filled the town, and Ava looked freaked out. She couldn't get a fix on whatever demon was making that noise. The Acheri demon she controlled screamed in shock and actual pain as something started to rip her to shreds. Ava tried to control the demon, but it rebuffed her. She was not it's master. She was not strong enough to control it's natural urges to kill.

The Acheri was a mess of blood and gore. Andy lost his lunch even looking at it.

They could hear a lone growl outside the window, and it was pretty obvious the thing that killed the demon was still out there, waiting.

"What the hell is that thing?"

"In a word: Hunter," said Gabriel smugly. He stepped outside the salt line and Sam was quick to follow. Hunter had never once growled at him...except for the time he tried to take a steak away from him.

Andy stayed close behind Sam while Gabe petted his dog.

Ava tried in vain to control the thing, having a general direction to work with, but she wasn't getting squat.

"Yeah, your meager psychic ability to control the Acheri won't work on Hunter."

"She was..."

"Controlling the demon? Yes. She also killed Lily. Told you she had to be faking it," said Gabe coldly.

"How...what is that thing?!" shrieked Ava.

"His name is Hunter, so explain your piece now before I set him on you."

Sam couldn't help but to agree with his brother.

"Hunter listens to me and Dean, but he'll only obey Gabe," said Sam.

Ava started babbling about how they were supposed to kill each other until only one was left standing. It made Sam sick to think that she would have killed Andy or Gabe had Jake and Sam taken the bait and left the salt lines.

Jake didn't look one bit happy about that. Andy looked properly terrified, and rightly so. He was an easy target because all he could do was astral project.

"So what now?" asked Sam.

"Well, we either kill Ava and not have to worry about her trying to off us at the first chance, or we leave her sorry ass in the jail and start walking. Knowing Dean, he's on his way here with Bobby already so we'll probably ruin into them soon enough. And frankly I don't feel like dancing to the tune of the ass who dropped blood into our mouths as infants," deadpanned Gabe.

"WHAT?!"

"Azazel, which is the demon's actual name by the way, dropped blood into our mouths to awaken our abilities. Demon's blood is well known as an amplifier for psychic powers."

Sam looked like he would be sick. The very thought of the demon who killed his mother and tried to kill Jessica putting his blood in his mouth as an infant...well it made him very nauseous.

"Relax Sammy, the dumbass did bleed on the wrong baby. John had you in the living room because you wouldn't stop crying that night and the demon didn't know I was in the crib. He mistook me for you," said Gabe.

That didn't make Sam feel any better, but a thought did occur to him.

"Wait, if he got the wrong kid, then why..."

"Why do you still have visions? Natural ability, one that I helped you to practice with remember? You're the only one able to walk out of here because he didn't know I was in the crib and not you. Well that and if he tried to kill you he would have to answer to _his_ boss."

"Do I even want to know?"

"I'll tell you once I get rid of the damn Colt. Without that Azazel can't open the gates and let his army out," deadpanned Gabe.

"But the Colt's the only thing that can kill him!" said Sam.

"No, it's not. It's the only thing _available_ to hunters at this point. There are some very special blades that can kill him just as easily."

"What blades?"

"My demon-blades are based off what are called angel blades. Made during the civil war before Lucifer fell. The only reason we can't get to them is because the only ones out right now are demons. Angels don't normally give two shits about human affairs."

Andy suddenly cried out. Gabe paused and swore.

Azazel must have noticed that they weren't about to fight, so he sent out the hellhounds to speed things up. Andy was a goner, and only Gabriel could see them while they were invisible.

"To hell with you and your games!" said Gabe, as he started a long chant in Latin. Sam was looking about wildly, but couldn't land a hit on the hounds.

Jake was killed when they piled on him.

"Congratulations. You're the last man standing...even if I was rooting for Sammy boy here," sneered the demon. The hounds growled around them.

Gabe could sense Dean was still miles off from where they were.

"I really hate doing this... Sam, close your eyes tight and don't look."

"What?"

"Just do it!"

Sam covered his eyes and Hunter immediately hid his between Sam's long legs. Just because he could see his master's true form didn't mean it wouldn't hurt for hours.

Azazel seemed to realized something was wrong, because Gabriel smirked coldly.

"_Does the Walker chose the path, or the path the Walker?"_ he asked in perfect Enochian.

"No... You can't be..." said Azazel.

Gabriel flared his wings using Grace, and the demon cried out in pain as his vessel's eyes were burnt out of his skull. He hid his wings and shook Sam's arm.

"Should we kill him now or wait for Dean?"

"What the hell did you do to him?"

"There are certain beings higher on the food chain than a high-class demon. He just picked the fight with something far more dangerous."

Dean planted a bullet into Azazel, feeling a deep sense of satisfaction in doing so. Then he looked at Gabe with suspicion.

"So who are you really?"

"Gabriel Winchester."

"Nice try, but none of us could have burnt out a demon's eyes or killed those hellhounds like that."

"Idjit. My legal name _is_ Gabriel Winchester. I had it changed years ago to avoid a rather annoying nuisance and I got on the wrong end of Loki a few days before Sammy was supposed to have demon's blood in him. Doesn't change the fact I'm on _your_ side in this mess," said Gabe bluntly.

"Okay, so _what_ are you?"

"I believe the popular term is Nephilim, even if it is misused far too often."

"You're a half angel?" said Sam.

"Three-quarters. I landed in hell dragging a foul soul down with me, and I ascended. The proper term for my kind is angelic cambion."

"And why us?"

"You're as close as brothers to me. Always have been. Why do you think I chose the name Winchester?"

"So if you're half angel, then who were you real parents?"

"Ironically enough my former roommate happened to be my dad all along, but he didn't know until I found out by accident. Besides, I can prank him anytime I want," smirked Gabe.

Sam put two and two together to get four.

"Loki."

"Ever the smart one Sammy. Come on, we have to kill that bitch Ruby so Lilith has one less demon to help her."

"So which angel was he?" asked Dean.

"And ruin his fun? No way!" chuckled Gabe.


	24. Third Alternate, No Episode

_**Third Alternate, no episode**_

With the news that Gabriel wasn't their brother like they had assumed, little actually changed between them.

Well aside from the fact that some idiot got tricked into unleashing a hell's gate in Wyoming because Dean lost the Colt during a fight. They were barely able to close it in time.

* * *

><p>"DUCK!" shouted Gabe. Dean did as he told him. He narrowly avoided being beaned by some chick with a shotgun.<p>

"Lady what the hell?" demanded Dean.

"Dean?" Bobby called out.

Gabe helped his brother up.

"These two are demon hunters," said Gabe.

"You know of us?" she asked.

"I'm Monkey Magic," deadpanned Gabe.

"Ah."

"Anyway the demons we're after are called the 'Seven Deadly Sins', mostly because that's what their powers revolve around. One touch and you're toast," said Gabe.

"How do you know that?"

"Walking Hunter Encyclopedia. Give me five minutes and I will have already narrowed down what it is, where the general location of it will be and how to kill it or at least get rid of it," deadpanned Gabe.

"It's true. I've lost count how many times he's been able to beat us in the research department," said Dean.

"So where are these demons?" asked her husband.

Gabe looked at him with a bored gaze.

"I tell you, then you'll just bust in half-assed and under prepared. I am not having two hunter's deaths on my conscious," said Gabe flatly.

Gabe dropped what appeared to be a rather large water gun.

"What the hell is that for?" asked Dean.

"Ever see a demon take you seriously with a water gun?"

"No."

"That's what it's for. Can you imagine the look on their faces when they realize it's automatically blessed water that they're being hit with, and that the thing is permanently full?"

"How did you manage that?"

"Sanctified Water charm. Summons the water into the gun, the cross blesses it, and then it keeps refilling as soon as it touches air," said Gabe.

"...Got any more?"

Gabe grinned and handed him three more. One for Dean, Sam and Bobby.

"Draws less attention than a gun and hurts like a bitch to demons. Not to mention it's less awkward to explain to cops," said Gabe.

"Wish we had that in the police station," said Dean.

"Where do you think I got the idea?"

Dean ruffled his hair.

"Always knew you were a smart kid," said Dean.

They went in, guns (so to speak) blazing while Gabriel started chanting the exorcism without missing a beat while he shot holy water at the demons.

Their screams were particularly entertaining.

"You there might be a market for these things..."

"...Meh, why not. Not like I don't have anything better to do," said Gabe.

"What's that mean?" asked Dean.

"I own the patents to a ton of newly created hunter tech. Long story short, I'm richer than any of you combined," said Gabe.

"What?!"

Gabe smirked, and pulled up his bank account.

Surprisingly enough, the goblins were well aware of the 'resets' because they had some sort of weird magic that allowed them to connect to their past/future accounts, and since Gabe always went to open the Gabriel Winchester account, it was always open the first thing he did.

Dean and Sam swore openly at the amount of cash Gabriel had in his account.

"Holy shit! You are paying for meals from now on!" said Dean.

"I was planning to," said Gabriel smirking.

"You mean we don't have to sleep in crappy motels from now on?" asked Sam hopeful.

"Sam, think back on how many _nice_ hotels are in the places we hunt. If it's in a major city we'll stay in a good hotel and not some piece of crap off the side of the highway," said Gabriel.

* * *

><p>"I hate you Dean," said Gabriel.<p>

"Why?"

"Because you locked my computer on that horrid porno site."

"You were stupid enough to mention you've never had a girl or boyfriend. Either we find out which side you bat for or I drag you to a strip club," said Dean. Sam snickered.

"Just for that..." said Gabe, clapping his hands three times.

"What was that?"

"You'll find out in a few minutes or so," said Gabe evilly, before he left the room.

It took Dean ten to figure out what Gabriel did to him.

"Son of a bitch...he gave me the clap!"

Sam fell over laughing.

* * *

><p>Gabe had it with all the hints Dean left about getting him laid.<p>

"That is it! I'm going on a vacation. Follow me at your own risk!" he said annoyed.

"Where are you going?" asked Dean.

"An ocean away from your remarks about my sex life is where!" said Gabe.

* * *

><p>"Uh Gabe? What's this?" asked Sam.<p>

"Oh, some shirts I found at this novelty store. I think that's yours," said Gabe waving his hand.

Sam opened the bag. And snorted in amusement.

"What?"

"I can _explain_ it to you, but I can't _understand_ it for you," said Sam dryly.

"I got Dean one too."

Dean laughed outright when he read his.

"_Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult_?" he said.

"Read mine," smirked Gabe.

"_Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup_," read Dean.

"Want to see Bobby's?" asked Gabe grinning outright.

"Hell yes!"

Dean and Sam were both laughing at the shirt Gabe bought Bobby, which read "_I've had my coffee. You may speak."_

With how much coffee Bobby drank on a good day, it fit him perfectly.

* * *

><p>Gabe took a deep breath...then started coughing. He had forgotten the pollution problem London had.<p>

"Geez, spend a few decades away from England and suddenly you forget how bad the air quality is..." muttered Gabe.

He wandered around London and wondered why the air fare had been so cheap...at least until he realized something rather annoying.

"Oh for Loki's sake! Hasn't anyone killed that pest yet?" he said to no one in particular as he watched the Death Eaters running around killing muggles.

A few quick shots with his gun put the diseased monsters in their place. Everyone was too shocked by the sudden attack to react to his gun.

"Now, I'm only going to say this once. Where is your boss?" he said quite calmly.

The death eater he had winged spat in his face.

"Idiot, eh? I've got ways around that. Hunter, come!"

The death eater paled when he heard the low growl and couldn't find the source. Seeing a pair of glowing red eyes, he started babbling about where one of the bases was. Gabe knocked him out before stealing his wand and anything of value. He did the same to the other four lying on the ground in their own blood.

Gabe pocketed it all and vanished before the cops thought to ask why he had a loaded gun on him. He reappeared a few miles from the bar he used to frequent before he gave up the name Harry Potter.

"Welcome to the Hunter's Coven. What can I get for you stranger?"

"I'm looking for anyone interested in giving the idiots who call themselves Death Eaters a taste of their own damn medicine. Since they believe themselves superior to 'muggles', I want to teach them how effective a gun can be as opposed to a wand," said Gabe with a smirk.

"You from that ridiculous Order of the Phoenix?"

"Hell no. Dumbledore can burn in hell for all I care," said Gabe immediately.

"Here that boys? Seems we have someone in the know willing to actually _do_ something about the magicals causing all the problems lately. What do we say to that?" asked Mike, the owner.

A rousing chorus of "Aye!" was heard, and Gabe immediately won their favor by paying Mike with the same gold he stole from the Death Eaters to buy them a round of drinks on him.

* * *

><p>Dumbledore called everyone in.<p>

"I have news that you should all here...someone has been bringing Hunters into our war," said Dumbledore gravely.

"Hunters?" asked Harry. They had dragged him out of his crash course in battle magic for this?

"Muggles who hunt down creatures who kill people. They mostly leave us alone because of the treaty," explained his girlfriend Hermione.

"And?"

"And they've been killing magicals in violation of the treaty," said Dumbledore.

"Tell them the rest," said Moody gruffly.

"What?" asked Harry to Moody. They had grown to respect each other during the course of his training.

"All those killed were either marked or supporters. I ran into the wizard leading them, and he said that the Death Eaters were the ones who broke the treaty first. They'll leave us alone out of courtesy, but they aren't giving the Death Eaters the same."

"So these muggles are only killing Death Eaters or their supporters. How is this _our_ problem?" asked Harry bluntly.

"Harry, be reasonable. Hunters can't go around killing Death Eaters!"

"Right, like sparing their lives so that they can target us again has worked so far. Fat lot of good it did Ron," spat Harry.

"Huh, so this is the infamous Order of the Phoenix," said an unfamiliar voice.

Everyone turned, wands drawn.

Standing in the doorway was an unfamiliar man, roughly about twenty-ish, with auburn hair and hauntingly familiar green eyes. He had a self-confident smirk and held a wand that looked equally familiar, only it was slightly longer than Harry was used to. Beside him was a dog with red eyes and red-streaked fur. He was easily five-foot eleven, just shy of six feet. His clothes were distinctly muggle, though he had a shirt that made Charlie snort in amusement once he read what it said. On his hip was a well worn holster that had a gun in it.

All in all it screamed that he was a dangerous enemy to have.

"How did you find this place?" demanded Dumbledore.

"One, I already knew where Grimmauld place was. Two, I just took out that damn harpy in the hallway, so you should be thanking me. And three, I seriously doubt that the Elder wand will even _affect_ me, but go ahead and give it your best shot," smirked the man.

"Who are you?" asked Harry.

"Name's Gabriel Winchester. My brothers call me Gabe though. As for why I'm killing the Death Eaters, let's just say I don't feel comfortable leaving all the crap on the hands of someone who's already had enough shit dumped in his lap before he was even able to do something about it," said Gabe flatly.

Harry blinked.

"You don't believe I have to kill Voldemort personally?" he said incredulous. That was a first. And it got him on Hermione's instant good side.

"I think a certain old goat over here should have gotten off his ass and killed the fucker_ years _ago instead of falling into that pseudo pacifist bullshit. For Loki's sake, the muggleborns that have left England outnumber their forces five to one! Why not recall them and use lethal force and be done with it already! Quit stalling and end the damn war! This is supposed to be my vacation from my brother for Loki's sake!" said Gabe exasperated.

"Why Loki?" asked George.

"He's my father. Annoying pain in the ass that he is...easily bribeable with Honeyduke's best chocolate coincidentally...I can get you a summoning circle if you want to meet him," said Gabe.

Molly went to shriek at him for suggesting such a thing, but Gabe hexed her voice away.

"Loki is real?" asked Hermione surprised.

"Real and alive. Like I said, very easy to bribe, provided you give him something with enough sugar to make your parents cringe," he said to Hermione.

"How do you know..." she said in shock.

"I know a lot. Coincidentally I'm giving you, Dumbledore, exactly one month to grow a pair of balls and settle this little war of yours before I kidnap Harry and his girlfriend here and take them far, far away from that crappy prophecy that the old drunk made."

Harry didn't seem too unhappy with the idea. In fact he was half tempted to agree to it since Gabriel was planning to take both of them.


	25. Third Alternate and Fourth beginning

_**Third Alternate and Fourth beginning, no episode**_

Exactly one week after his abrupt appearance in Grimmauld Place, Gabe made good on his threat and kidnapped Harry and Hermione from the secret base that Dumbledore had been using. As an afterthought, he also snagged the twins, Remus and his wife Tonks.

Dumbledore was furious...and extremely confused as to _how_ Gabe had broken his defenses so easily. To make matters worse, he had no idea where Harry and the others now were.

Gabe held nothing back as he dealt with base after base, using the Taboo against Voldemort's forces.

Voldemort was pissed that someone had thought of that trick, when really it was only common sense.

Gabe picked up his phone when it started playing _Second Chance_. No matter what alternate he landed in, the phone numbers always stayed the same.

Either that or his phone had become set to autolock on Dean's magical signature and set the number appropriately. He wouldn't doubt either idea at this point...his phone was as much a part of him as his laptop was.

"Yeah? What do you need Dean? What? What the hell do you mean Sam's been tricked by some demon bitch? Did you just say Ruby? I'll be home soon," said Gabe.

He had been unable to _find_ Ruby to kill her, and despite Dean never making the deal there was still a chance the seals would be broken.

After all, the demons only needed to convince Harry Potter to make a deal out of love in order to break the first one. Killing Ruby would be ideal, as she had been the one to get close to Sam and Dean pretending to remember her humanity.

Killing Lilith would be better, preferably if it was done by someone who was so far beyond the path of the righteous that the seal would be unable to break. They had to be broken in the right order for Lucifer to be freed with all his power intact.

Which was why he planned to trick Voldemort or Dumbledore into summoning Lilith and then telling them how to kill her. The Elder wand would be the perfect way to pull that one off.

* * *

><p>Gabe tasted dirt as he woke up. So he had been captured then?<p>

He looked up to find Dumbledore. Figures.

"You do realize you could have ended this farce years ago if you had only used the right tools," he said calmly.

"How did you break past my wards? Where is Harry?" he demanded.

"The answer to that is simple. Lilith. As for Harry, last I checked he was on a world tour with his girlfriend and friends," said Gabe spitting out the dirt in his mouth.

"Who is Lilith."

"A god, one who deals in contracts. I made a deal with her to gain power over magic, but I've been unable to kill the bitch yet."

Which was a complete lie of course. He had made no deal, and Lilith was as far from a god as you could get without being human.

Dumbledore forced Gabe to stand, and had him write out a list of what he would need to summon Lilith, and the ritual circle.

If Dumbledore had any contact with a hunter, he would have known that the circle and ingredients were key components to summoning a demon. Unfortunately for him, he didn't.

Gabe did leave one parting shot at Dumbledore though.

"If I were you, I would kill the bitch as soon as the contract takes hold. Otherwise she'll force you to serve her for eternity once your time is up," said Gabe.

Dumbledore took that under advisement.

* * *

><p>Gabe watched as Voldemort was eaten alive by hellhounds, not that anyone else could see them. Dumbledore had turned on Lilith the second the contract was in place, and killed her with the Elder Wand. Gabe had hit him with a simple disarming charm and stolen it and the stone at the same time. He would mock duel Harry later to be rid of the extra.<p>

Upon Lilith's death, the final seal was corrupted and made useless. If Lucifer managed to break free, he would be easier to dispatch with the Colt.

Gabe took a little extra time with Harry, tricking him into accepting the Elder Wand though a mock duel 'for fun' and tossing him the stone before vanishing in his T.A.R.D.I.S., and reappearing near Bobby's house.

Dean had found Sam, but his brother was hopped up on demon's blood courtesy of Ruby, the conniving bitch. He had killed her once he found them with his modified gun, which Gabe had altered to act as a more modern Colt.

Gabe took one look at Sam's twitches, and sighed in annoyance.

"Dammit, not again... Dean, Bobby, tie his ass in the panic room while I made the antidote to demon's blood."

"There's an antidote?" asked Dean.

"Yeah, but it'll take me a few hours to make. In the meantime we have to make sure no demons show up to try and give him more of that crap...that and we have to absolutely make sure he doesn't try to find any once the withdrawal hits in. Last time I saw this, it hit him hard and very fast."

"You've seen this before?" asked Sam.

"Plenty of times, though I've never tried to counteract it so soon. Usually you need a kick in the ass to try this method. I've seen you hopped up on demon's blood before, and it's _never_ pretty to watch."

Gabe waited until Bobby and Dean were keeping Sam in the panic room before he went into his 'house' and went to work. He had the recipe imprinted on his very brain at this point.

Once he had the candy ready to set, he pulled out his usual athame to cut his wrist. The red and shining blood turned into small spheres and he levitated the still hot candy liquid into the already made molds.

He waited a few minutes for it to set before he broke the spell that kept the blood from mixing with the candy. For some reason, it never worked properly if it mixed early. The red food coloring would keep Sam from realizing what was in the candy until the final layer broke and he ingested the blood.

A single quart made at least two hundred suckers, since he only used enough candy to lightly coat the spheres so they wouldn't dribble out. Once they were cool enough to eat, he took ten of them and went to the panic room.

"What's that?" asked Dean.

"The antidote. I've found this is the easiest method to trick Sammy into taking it, not to mention it's easier to take than normal."

Well, that and he didn't want to explain why he was making Sam drink his blood directly.

Sam raised an eyebrow at the sight of the red suckers but popped one in all the same.

It took less than a minute for the saliva in his mouth to break the candy barrier, and his eyes widened comically once the angel's blood hit his tongue. He swallowed without thinking, and before he could remove the sucker the pain hit.

He doubled over, and Gabe immediately put him on the bed. A few spells kept Sam from thrashing while the angel blood counteracted the demon's blood still in his system.

"Sam!" cried Dean.

"Relax! This is normal. Once the blood is dealt with, I can do the usual test to insure Sam doesn't have a relapse. Like I said, usually I give him these to _keep_ him from seeking out demons. I've never tried this after he was given the blood by force," said Gabe.

"He'll be alright though won't he?" asked Bobby.

"Angel's blood is the only thing I've found to erase the presence of demon's blood. Eating one of these is enough to keep Sam from going after the blood. Depending on how much he took, I might have to give him a second one just in case to be sure. Either way he's in for a rough time of it," said Gabe.

"Where did you get angel's blood?" asked Bobby.

Dean noticed something...Gabe had a bandage around his left wrist, one that was still seeping.

"Gabe!"

Gabe looked down and cursed. He thought he had tied that down properly.

Dean made him sit down while Bobby handed him the med kit. He saw the straight cut on his arm and knew that Gabe had done something.

"Why did you cut your own arm?"

"Angel's blood, remember. It doesn't matter if it's diluted or not, it still works," said Gabe with a yawn. He all but slumped against the chair.

Dean, once he managed to bandage up the cut properly, helped his youngest brother up to the first bed he could find. Gabe slept soundly under the covers.

* * *

><p>Loki watched the proceedings with interest. He hadn't known that the Walker could be so effective in keeping the Winchesters from their self-destructive path.<p>

However he was more interested in _why_ he was the only one to remember the alternates. He was sure it had something to do with Bree/Gabe, but what? If he was telling the truth, then he was his son, but why did he remember all the ripples the half-angel left in his wake? Was it because they shared the same blood?

* * *

><p>Sam woke up and found the spell which had kept him ramrod straight had fallen apart. He felt like shit, and he had seen Dean bandage a cut on Gabe's left arm.<p>

Sam saw the note Gabe had left.

_'If you feel like shit, try eating a second one. That usually helps.'_

Sam picked up the cherry red sucker, which had cinnamon flavoring to his amusement, and popped it in. The blood rushed down to his stomach and he felt the cramps from whatever had worked itself out ease. He tossed the stick into the nearby trash and looked in the mirror.

He looked like hell, though his coloring was a little better than it was last night. He walked upstairs to find Gabe yawning while drinking a massive mug of hot cocoa.

"Feeling better Sam?"

"Yeah..."

"Let me guess...you had to eat a second one," said Gabe.

"Unfortunately."

"Damn. Well, at least now I know to wait a few days before I do a purge. Normally I don't have to place a body bind on you."

"Gabe, thanks for..."

"Sam, I've come to terms with having to make those. If it means you aren't hopped on demons blood, I'll gladly donate a quart of blood to the cause. Besides, it's not really that different from donating blood at a blood drive...though Dean should have made me eat something and given me fluids once he knew I had given up blood," said Gabe sourly.

Sam chuckled. Gabe never changed.

* * *

><p>A month after the demon's blood incident, the Winchesters got a surprise visitor.<p>

Harry and Hermione Potter.

"Damn you Gabriel, I know you had something to do with this!" hissed Harry.

"If you're referring to tricking you into becoming Master of Death, then I will plead guilty," said Gabe dryly, sipping his cocoa with cinnamon.

"What? No I mean the fact Dumbledore is dead by demons!" said Harry.

"Oh that. I was doing a preemptive strike on Lucifer. Lilith, the first demon ever born, had to die by the hand of a righteous man, which Dumbledore is most definitely not. I just tricked him into summoning her for a deal to kill Voldie, and then killing her once the contract took full effect. Her minions were less than pleased by the double cross," said Gabe smugly.

"Why?" demanded Hermione.

"It was because of him that the Potters chose Pettigrew as their Secret Keeper. Dumbledore convinced Sirius to make that suggestion and it was his fault that none of the Order had dared to kill the Death Eaters. And those blood wards of his? A load of crap. It was little more than a prison to keep _you_ under his thumb," said Gabe viciously.

"How do you..."

Gabe snapped his fingers...his current form rippling under the magic and reformed into...a carbon copy of Harry. Their shock was palpable.

"In my time, Vernon and Dudley were killed by a Wendigo when I was seven. I learned all I could about Hunting and became a hunter when I was fifteen. Unlike you, I found a way to get out of the stigma left behind by that damnable title of the Boy-Who-Lived by 'killing' Harry Potter and becoming Gabriel Winchester. So excuse me if I fell less than charitable towards a man who left me in my own personal hell before that camping trip," said Gabe bluntly.

He could feel the pull of his powers calling him. He switched back to his new self to keep it from forcing a slide.

He was getting better at it.

"Now you have a choice. You can either return to England and be stuck as their poster boy again...or you can try your hand at becoming a hunter and actually save people. And just to let you know, being a hunter is a hell of a lot better than an auror, because we don't have to fill out any paperwork."

"How does one become a hunter?" asked Harry. He hated paperwork.

"Why don't you talk to Bobby so he can get you two started. You should see some of the rare books he has in there...some of it's in cuneiform," said Gabe helpfully.

Seeing the look in Hermione's eyes light up, he knew he had them both hooked. Hermione never passed up a chance to do esoteric research and the chance to read something that old and nearly impossible to find would have her jumping at the chance.

* * *

><p>Less than a week later Gabe boarded his house and waited.<p>

He had put off the transit as long as he could, but he needed to move to the next alternate.

His home made a wheezing groan that he never tired of as his power filled the area and moved them. Hunter was sleeping off his meal in his area, so he paid no mind to it.

At least this time he was able to warn Dean and Sam about the shift. They were currently teaching Harry and Hermione the finer points of being a hunter and he had no doubt that they would take Harry in as his replacement.

Once the space landed, he could feel the change in the air. It took him a moment to recognize the sensation.

Damn...he was too late to stop the first seal from breaking. Oh well.


	26. Fourth Alternate, Monster Movie

_**Fourth Alternate, Monster Movie**_

Gabe was at Oktoberfest, and he was loving it...even if there was a shape-shifter on the loose playing at monster movies.

His silver earrings (which were designed with the anti-demon possession tattoo) hung from his left and right ears respectively. He had two pretzels next to him and a large tankard of cheap beer in his hand. He heard the Impala come in, and grinned.

Time to prank the Winchesters.

* * *

><p>Dean was separated from Sam by a rather busty bar wench, which meant he had the perfect chance to prank Sam.<p>

He used polyjuice (he still had some of Dean's hair) and walked into the room.

"Hey Dean. I thought you were with the barmaid?" asked Sam.

"She had a boyfriend, came in at the last second," like Gabe smoothly.

"Whatever," said Sam.

He didn't see 'Dean' lift a few hairs from his hair brush and pocket them. Gabe kept up the ruse, leaving a few pranks in Sam's duffel and leaving his laptop on some rather disgusting porno sites before he told Sam he was off to get more beer.

Sam didn't know anything was wrong until he found his laptop on the sites and saw Dean came in...with different clothes than he had on when he was in the room.

"Dude, why did you change your clothes?" asked Sam.

"Huh? I just came back from that bar wench's place. That girl is kinky!" said Dean with a perverted face.

"Dean! Not cool! How many times have I told you to stay off my laptop?" demanded Sam.

"I just got back," said Dean in absolute confusion...then Sam's eyes widened in realization.

He clicked out of the final open tab to find his wallpaper had been changed.

_'You really need to step up your game Sammy-boy. Enjoy the surprise in your duffel bag. Constant Vigilance!'_

Beneath those ominous words was a tiny version of what appeared to be Loki with his fingers in a 'V' sign...along with blowing a raspberry.

"Son of a bitch!"

"What's going on?"

"There's a damn trickster here!" said Sam angrily.

"What?!"

Sam ran to his duffel bag to find a paper bag which spontaneously combusted into blue flames. He was quick to stomp it out, only to cry in disgust as he realized what was now on the bottom of his shoe.

Dean was torn between laughing and wanting to hunt down Loki for the whole Mystery Spot.

Then Sam found another note in his bag.

_'BTW, the thing you're looking for at the moment is a shapeshifter. Happy hunting, muttonheads!'_

* * *

><p>Gabe was on the floor laughing his ass off as he recorded the entire thing through Sam's webcam. He likely hadn't noticed the fact that Gabe had hacked into his computer.<p>

He was stifling his snickers when he heard Dean's surprised voice about the light being on, and Sam opened up a tab he hadn't noticed being on.

Gabe grinned at his surprised face.

"Having fun yet boys?" he said before he flicked the camera off.

* * *

><p>Sam was about to go to the bar with Dean when he saw something that made him stop.<p>

"Is that...David Tennant?" he said in surprise.

There was someone who looked exactly like David Tennant, who was wearing his usual outfit from season four of Doctor Who. He even had his sonic screwdriver poking out of his pocket. He had a pretzel in one hand and a paper in another. Sam immediately started looking for the familiar blue box.

"What's with you?" asked Dean.

"You go on ahead," said Sam.

"Whatever. If I find Loki first I am so going to shoot his ass," said Dean annoyed.

Sam started looking high and low for the blue box...and found it near the Impala of all places. He wasn't sure if he should open it when he heard someone giggle behind him.

He turned and froze in his tracks.

Standing behind him was one of the most feared creatures in the Doctor Who universe...a weeping angel.

Sam cautiously made his move away from the blue box and towards open crowds. He blinked once and freaked out when he saw the face of the angel change and that it had come closer to him. He ran like hell for the bar, unaware that he had just been pranked.

Gabe watched Sam run and chortled with an evil grin. There was no way in hell he was passing up a recurring prank like this! The look on his face alone would make it worth remaking the angel!

* * *

><p>"Dude what the hell is up with you? It's like you've seen a demon or something," said Dean.<p>

Sam had been jumpy for hours now. It was driving Dean nuts.

"Worse...I saw an angel," mumbled Sam after drinking his beer.

"What, like that damn Castiel is back?"

"Not that kind Dean. A weeping angel. One touch and you're stuck in another time while they feed off your lost years," said Sam. He was more than a little drunk.

"What the hell is a weeping angel?" asked Dean.

Sam pulled up his laptop then froze when he saw the angel in the window. It had it's head in it's hands, but it was definitely there.

Dean followed the line of sight to a stone statue outside the window.

"What the hell?"

Sam was so freaked out (and more than a little drunk) that he passed out from fright. The stone angel vanished without a trace, though Dean would swear that he heard someone laughing outside.

When he looked he saw a weird trashcan with a pole and antenna rolling away.

"What the hell is going on?" said Dean.

He went to kick the can over, only for the 'eye' thing to swivel around to meet him.

"_Human detected! Prepare for extermination!"_ it said in a weird voice.

"What the..."

There was a flash of light and Dean yelped when he felt something hot breeze past him from the hand.

He bolted into the room and slammed the door shut. He looked outside the window...only to find the weird trashcan gone.

"It said what now?" said Sam.

"'Human detected. Prepare for extermination.' I swear it looked like some sort of freaky trashcan, or some warped idea of R2D2," said Dean.

Sam blinked...then pulled up the Doctor Who official fan site. He found the entry he was looking for and pulled up the picture.

"That's it!" said Dean.

"You came face-to-face with a Dalek...and it didn't kill you?" said Sam.

"A what now?"

"Dalek, as in one of the main antagonists and the immortal enemies of the Time Lords," said Sam.

"You've lost me," said Dean.

"I think we're being pranked," said Sam.

"Could you explain to me what the hell is going on? I mean we have a shapeshifter who's doing monster remakes and freaky trashcans from hell shooting at me!" said Dean.

"I think we should just deal with the shapeshifter first. I mean we're the only ones who've seen the weeping angel or the dalek and yet neither of us is dead yet," said Sam.

"Okay, but what the hell are these things from anyway?"

"Doctor Who, a British sci-fi show," said Sam.

"Dude, can you be any nerdier?" asked Dean.

* * *

><p>Sam and Dean dealt with the shapeshifter and were about to leave town (Sam couldn't find any trace of the TARDIS after the first time) when he found something in his seat. It was a long box with a ribbon on it.<p>

He picked up the box and read the words on the bottom.

_'Congrats on killing the shape shifter, consider this my gift to you. It works exactly like the one you're familiar with. P.S. Turn around and don't blink. Doctor.'_

Sam turned around and came face-to-face with a weeping angel within reaching distance with it's scowling face right there. He would deny it vehemently later, but he actually jumped in fright and fell over with a loud yelp.

Dean saw what was going on and was about to shoot the weird statue thing when he heard loud laughter.

Sam and Dean turned to find someone who looked like Matt Smith, complete with fez and red bow tie holding onto the T.A.R.D.I.S. laughing his sides off at the look on Sam's face. He spotted them and waved before he went into the box and it vanished with a familiar wheezing sound. Sam turned to find the angel gone, but the box remained.

Inside was Matt Smith's sonic screwdriver complete with instructions on how to use it. Too bad Sam didn't see the camera that the 'Doctor' had in his hands.

* * *

><p>"Oh god that was too rich!" said Gabe, leaning against the console.<p>

He had the film developed and was currently letting the pictures soak in the potion that would allow them to move while he got his laughter out over Sam's reaction to his prank.

This was going in his scrapbook. But first...

* * *

><p><em>In Gabe's alternate, in Bobby's house with Castiel, Anna and Gabriel...<em>

Gabriel heard his phone ring with a message and pulled up the pictures that were sent to his inbox.

In two seconds he went from worried to howling with laughter.

"What?" asked Dean. He was leaning against Cas at the moment.

"I think you're going to want to see this Sammy!" cackled Gabriel.

Sam looked at the photos and blinked.

"Is that...me?" he said.

"Bree's in another alternate and he just pranked you two good! Check out these pics!" chortled Gabriel.

"Isn't that the town with the shape shifter who was obsessed with the old school monster movies?" asked Dean, recognizing it.

"I think so," said Sam.

He flipped through the pictures and scowled. Bree had certainly pranked his alternate self good, using his love of Doctor Who against him.

_Back with Gabe..._

Gabe grinned as he got the message back.

_'Love the prank, send more pictures! Love dad.'_

Gabe clapped his hands with glee. Perhaps he should have the Winchesters 'hunt' the fake Doctor?


	27. Fourth Alternate, Ep Yellow Fever

_**Fourth Alternate, Ep. Yellow Fever**_

Gabe was enjoying a cup of poorly made mass-manufactured tea when he noticed something off about Dean.

He pulled up the bio and grinned when he realized what was going on.

So Dean had Ghost Sickness? This could be entertaining...

* * *

><p>"Dude, I'm telling you we're being followed!" said Dean.<p>

"And I'm telling you that's the ghost sickness talking," said Sam patiently.

"It's not... Is that John Wayne?" said Dean, noticing someone odd.

Sam blinked, then turned to where Dean was facing.

"Why is John Wayne in this town? Isn't he dead already?" asked Sam highly confused.

John Wayne walked past them, but neither Winchester noticed his smirk as he swapped out the batteries in the camcorder on Hunter's back.

No way was he missing a moment of Dean's panic attacks.

* * *

><p>Gabe frowned. Dean's panic attacks had ceased to be amusing while he was being chased by that little frou-frou dog. So he walked outside of his house, patiently waited for Dean to pass him...then stuck out his arm and knocked Dean out by causing him to fall onto the road. The dog whimpered and licked him, but ran when Hunter came round.<p>

Gabe hauled Dean off the ground and back into the house, and force fed him some Draught of the Living Death. Dean's body went into a state of coma and his heart slowed down to reasonable levels. He was alive, but he wouldn't be dying of a heart attack if his body never became agitated enough.

He left a note on the Impala for Sam to find.

* * *

><p>"What do you mean Dean's missin'?" demanded Bobby.<p>

"I mean he left after a massive panic attack and later I found this note on the dash of the Impala," said Sam.

_'Sasquatch, you have six hours to find and deal with this ghost otherwise I will be forced to step in and deal with this mess myself. Dean will be returned to you alive once the ghost sickness is dealt with. Doctor.'_

"Who's the Doctor?"

"I think it's something inhuman who has a real love of the _Doctor Who_ series. He pranked me and Dean a few weeks back," said Sam.

"And he has Dean?"

"From what I can tell he's in league with Loki...but last time he had a chance to kill Dean and he didn't. Somehow I get the feeling he's keeping Dean alive in case we can't handle this ghost."

"And if he's using Dean?"

"Then we'll kill him when we catch up to him."

They went quiet all of a sudden when they heard a growl. It was definitely a dog, but they couldn't see one.

Suddenly a wolf shimmered out of nowhere and tackled Sam. Bobby was about to shoot it...until he realized the thing was licking him to death.

"Get off!"

Sam noticed another note in the collar.

_'His name is Hunter. Despite his breed, he will help you catch this ghost. Oh, and he likes bacon. Dean will be kept unconscious to prevent his death from the ghost sickness, so move your ass already!'_

Sam blinked.

"Your name is Hunter?"

Hunter barked. Then he vanished from view and reappeared to steal a half eaten piece of jerky from Bobby's pocket that had been sticking out.

"Hey!"

* * *

><p>"This is a terrible plan," said Bobby.<p>

"I know," said Sam.

"I know I said we had to scare it to death, but this?" said Bobby.

"What other choice do we have? Dean only has a few hours before his heart stops," said Sam. Hunter barked.

"Well according to that note, he should be fine," said Bobby sarcastically.

"Well if we can't make him scared, I suppose we'll have to make him angry," said Sam.

* * *

><p>Dean woke up with a start. He was on a soft bed and no idea where the hell he was. Last thing he remembered was being chased by that stupid little dog.<p>

"Oh good, you're awake," said the guy with the hat.

"Where am I?"

"My house. Well it's less of a house and more of an expanded box with a lot of fun extras but it's still a house. Anyway I knocked you out while you were in the throws of a really funny hallucination and made sure you lived long enough for Sam and Bobby to deal with the ghost. If I hadn't drugged you, you would have likely dealt with a hallucination of Lilith by now."

"Who the hell are you?"

"Me? I'm the Doctor. Well in this form anyway. My name is Gabriel Evans. I'm a hunter like you," said the man with a mock bow.

"Where's Sammy?"

"He's in the Impala with Bobby, heading back to the hotel. You might as well eat something before you go," said Evans.

Dean didn't look like he trusted Evans one bit...until he saw the fresh pie waiting. He wasn't saying no to free pie.

He didn't noticed Evans' smirk as he laid a time-release prank spell on Dean. He was sure Sam would get a good laugh out of it.

* * *

><p>"Dean!"<p>

"Sam!"

Bobby watched as the two hugged...then noticed something.

"Dean, what in god's green earth are you wearing?" he asked.

Sam looked at Dean's clothes and started laughing. Hard.

Clearly whoever rescued Dean had a sense of humor and knew Dean far too well...because he was dressed exactly as Captain Jack Harkness from _Doctor Who_ and the spin-off _Torchwood._

Sam noticed he had been hit too, because he was now dressed as Matt Smith, complete with the fez on his head. Sam looked at Bobby and tried not to laugh.

Bobby was dressed as Donna Noble's grandfather, the only one to remember the Doctor when the world nearly fell to the Master's plans.

Sam heard the wheezing groan and saw David Tennant popping out his head with a grin and a wave before vanishing...along with the hellhound that they had taken with him.

* * *

><p>Dean looked at Sam.<p>

"Seriously? Why are you watching that?" asked Dean.

"Come on Dean, this is twice we've run into this guy, and twice he's pranked us good. He has a hellhound for a pet! Don't you think we should find out _why_ he keeps coming after us?"

"No, and frankly I could care less!" said Dean irate.

He was not happy with whoever this Gabriel Evans was. His pet dog shit in the driver's side seat before he left! Dean sat in hellhound crap for two hours before they found a car wash to get it out! Sam still couldn't stop laughing about it.

So yes, he was less than happy that Sam had decided to catch up on the latest episodes of _Doctor Who_.


	28. Fourth Alternate, It's the Great Pumpkin

_**Fourth Alternate, Ep. It's the Great Pumpkin Sam Winchester**_

Dean and Sam were investigating a man who died by eating razor blades hidden in candy. They had no idea what was to come.

Sam was the one to spot it first.

"Dean, he's here," said Sam.

"Who... Oh hell no. Not him again!" said Dean.

Strangely enough, he wasn't wearing his Doctor costume...but an angel one. Though he didn't look like any saintly angel they had ever seen.

He looked like a living weeping angel and he was freaking Sam out a bit.

He spotted them around the same time they saw him.

"Sam. Dean."

"What's with the getup?" asked Sam.

"Have to be ready. Samhain might be raised in a few days," said Gabriel.

"Samhain?"

"The demon behind the Halloween tradition. They have to kill two more people in order to raise him. Now if you excuse me I have a party to get to," said Gabe smirking.

"I'll come with you," said Sam immediately.

"Uh, yeah, you're too old. I at least look around eighteen. You look around thirty," said Gabe. Dean snorted. Then Gabe turned to him.

"You look around 39," he said flatly. Sam smirked.

Dean stopped laughing.

"Ta boys!"

He vanished with a crack.

* * *

><p>Gabe walked into the rather boring party and waited. He had already found the witch, but didn't want to alert her to his presence. He wanted to piss off Uriel first.<p>

He watched as the girl died, but her fate was already sealed anyway. He stuck around for the cops and when he saw the Winchester brothers, he came close.

"Two words, Jail, Bait."

"Two words, old hag," corrected Gabe.

"What?" said Dean.

"Slutty cheerleader? Is one of two witches in the town. Gank her once you can lead her away and I'll find the second one. We kill them before midnight and Samhain will be unable to rise," said Gabe.

Dean waited in front of the house where the first victim was, and followed the cheerleader back to a secluded area. He killed her and drove off once he was sure she was dead.

"One witch down," said Dean, walking into the hotel room...and pausing when he saw who was there.

Castiel and Uriel.

"What are you doing here?" demanded Dean.

"You need to leave, now," said Castiel.

"Why the hell should we listen to you?" asked Gabe.

"Who are you?" asked Castiel. He was confused by Gabe's nature.

"Name's Gabriel Evans. I'm a hunter. Anyway I already know who the second witch is...the issue is finding and catching him. Shouldn't be too much trouble."

"What are you, abomination?" hissed Uriel. Gabe looked at him with a lazy eye and said something that really pissed off the angel.

"_Why don't you jump into the pit with Lucifer, you sanctimonious prick?_" he said with a drawl.

Uriel's breathing changed and Castiel looked rather surprised. The only reason he wasn't angry was because the remark hadn't been directed at him personally.

"Who or what are you?"

"_Does the walker chose the path, or the path the walker?"_ he asked in return. Castiel noticed something on his waist...a real arch angel blade.

Castiel and Uriel left when Dean told them that they could handle it. They weren't going to challenge someone with an arch angel blade.

"Dude, what the hell?" asked Dean.

"Angels are dicks with wings...but they don't challenge those higher up the food chain. All they needed to see was this blade and they'll back off pretty damn quick," said Gabe smirking.

"So what did you say to that other guy?" asked Dean.

"Why don't you go jump into the pit with Lucifer you sanctimonious prick? Best of all it was in their language, which is why you didn't understand me," said Gabe.

"What language?" asked Sam.

"Enochian. Let's just say I dislike angels, because most of them are real pricks...particularly if their name is Uriel, Zachariah or Micheal. If you meet someone named Zachariah, do me a favor and give him a swift kick in the balls."

"So how come they left?" asked Dean.

"As long as we can stop this witch from dying or killing until midnight, the ritual is a bust. Besides, they were a bit intimidated by me I think."

"So what do we do?"

"We find that teacher and I lock his ass up in a way he can't do anything. They have to sacrifice in a specific ritual in order to raise Samhain. So let's get going," said Gabe.

* * *

><p>Gabriel found a piece of cloth belonging to the teacher and immediately hooked up Hunter.<p>

"Hunter, seek," said Gabe.

Hunter took a deep whiff of the scent and immediately started racing. Gabe ran alongside him while Dean and Sam followed in the car. Once he found the witch he put him under a full body bind and threw him into one of his spare rooms under heavy wards.

If he could get out of a body bind placed by the Elder Wand, he would be very surprised.

"So why exactly do the angels have such a fixation on us?" asked Dean.

"You're vessels. Specifically the ones for Micheal and Lucifer. Lilith breaks the seals, Lucifer rises, and you two poor bastards will be right in the heart of the mess."

"What?" choked Dean.

"Angels are dicks with wings. And God? God is stuck with a rule he left when he vanished during the middle ages," said Gabe, leaning against his console.

"What rule?" asked Sam.

"No direct interference. If Lucifer rises, then he can't do anything to help. You would be on your own," said Gabe.

"So what sort of seals are there?"

"Death of a reaper, death of at least two angels, the death of Lilith at the hand of a righteous man sent to hell. The problem is that some of the angels? They want the apocalypse to start. They want Micheal and Lucifer to duke it out once and for all. So they aren't exactly _trying_ very hard to stop it from happening. Well, except for Castiel. He seems to be the only decent one I've met in a long time," admitted Gabe.

"Woah, woah, woah. What was that last seal you mentioned?" asked Dean.

"The final seal is Lilith. The specific seal states that 'the first born will die at the hand of a righteous man'. When Castiel dragged you out, he broke the first seal in the process."

"How am I a righteous man? I mean I went to hell, I made a deal!" said Dean.

"Yes, but you made a deal not out of greed or malice, but out of love. You may have tortured sixty-six souls, but the ones they gave to you were all people who never made a deal but were sent to hell anyway. Plus you never go after the innocent, but after monsters who harm the innocent. In a way you are a righteous man."

"Why are you telling us this? I mean most of the monsters we've hunted stay tight lipped about this sort of thing," said Sam.

"One, I'm three-quarters angel. Most monsters would kill me on sight, including other angels like Uriel. Two, I'm on your side and _not _knowing this information will have consequences later. And three, I was sent by Fate to clean up the mess made by those idiots with wings. Thanks to the fact you two were never told the full story, Lucifer was constantly set free and the world reset to the night your mother was killed. This is actually the fifth time I've done this, though one of the alternates ended rather badly."

"How so?" scoffed Dean.

"I stop you from making the deal by saving Sam's life after that soldier stabbed him in the back, and when you retrieve the Colt a few hours after you left the devil's gate Azazel killed you two, Bobby and Ellen on the way out. After that the world ended but Lucifer was never set free," said Gabe bluntly.

Dean and Sam winced.

"So what's with the hellhound?" asked Dean finally. He wasn't entirely comfortable with the hound around him.

"Hunter? Well in one of the alternates I was Sam's roommate. And when I found Hunter I adopted and raised him when he was a pup. Should have seen your face the first time Hunter stole your pie off your plate...or heard Bobby cuss him out because he kept stealing off his table and he couldn't see him," chuckled Gabe,

Sam spotted a rope toy and picked it up. Hunter perked at that and they soon had a tug-of-war game going on.

"That reminds me! Hey Sammy, want to see something funny?" asked Gabe smirking.

"What?" he asked, scratching Hunter's ears.

Gabe hit play and soon Sam was laughing while Dean scowled. It was a video of Dean running from a toy dog because of the ghost sickness...and of him screaming like a little girl from Sam opening a locker...and of him sitting in hellhound crap.

"You were recording that?" said Dean.

"Not just that... check out these copies I made," said Gabe smirking.

Now it was Dean's turn to laugh as he saw the 'weeping angel' prank Gabe had played on Sam, including his brother's reaction to the one that was directly behind him.

"Why have you been pranking us anyway?"

"I'm Gabriel's son. Pranks are in my blood."

"Gabriel, as in the arch angel Gabriel?" said Sam.

"Yup. See Gabriel left roughly after God did, so they don't know where he is. Both of them were tired of all the fighting between Mikey and Lucy so they left heaven for a while. At some point in time during _my_ alternate, Gabriel landed in my dad's body as a vessel and eventually had me."

"So what's the deal with the sword? And why did Castiel freak out about it?" asked Dean.

"It's an arch angel blade. One stab of this and an angel dies. It was made during the civil war in heaven and it's strong enough to kill another arch angel. Gabriel gave it to me during another alternate because he didn't want Kali stabbing him. As long as I have this and the wings, they won't even try to challenge me because they'll think I'm a higher angel," said Gabe.

"Wings?" perked up Sam.

Gabe released his wings. Though half of them were gray in color for some reason.

"Why are half of them gold and the other gray?" asked Dean.

"What? I hit the top half with a color changing charm hours ago. It gives my Weeping Angel costume some major authenticity points. Did you know that the basis of the weeping angel came from the creator of _Doctor Who_ seeing an actual angel sending some poor soul into the past as punishment? He mistook it for a stone angel and now everyone knows about that power," smirked Gabe.

"Wait, weeping angels are real?" said Sam.

"Ask Dean. Castiel did dump his ass in the past back when your parents were still dating after all."

Sam looked at Dean.

"How the hell do you know about that?"

"I also know that your mom kicked your ass until you realized she was a hunter as well," snickered Gabe. He remembered something and went back into the room to recast the body bind. He had a rather amusing idea of what to do with this witch once midnight hit.

Gabe offered them suckers, cherry for Dean and an angel blood pop for Sam.

Sam didn't even noticed the flavoring until after he finished the treat.

"Ugh...what's with this weird aftertaste?" asked Sam.

"Try a different one. That one might not have come out right," lied Gabe.

By morning his demon blood would be gone and Ruby would have to start from scratch.

Sam took a second sucker, this one normal flavored, and Gabe told them about the fun fact that they could have summoned the house any time by using the sonic screwdriver Gabe had given Sam when he first arrived.

When the clock said it was well past midnight, Gabe grinned.

"Want to prank the angels?" he asked.

"How?" asked Dean.

"By seeing the look on their face when they realize that my wings are real," said Gabe.

"Dude, count me in!" said Dean eagerly.

* * *

><p>Castiel and Uriel were both in shock when Gabe did his weeping angel trick by sending the witch into the past after binding his magic permanently. No demon deal would be able to break it, since chances were pretty high that he would be snuffed out by the time paradox anyway.<p>

Sam was still creeped out that Gabe was an actual weeping angel though.


	29. Fourth Alternate, Ep I know what you di

_**Fourth Alternate, Ep. I know what you did last summer/ Heaven and Hell**_

Sam and Dean were heading out on a hot tip from Ruby...only to find Gabe had beaten them first.

It had taken some time to figure out Anna was in her father's church.

"Anna?" called out Dean.

"Close the door you moron! It's bad enough that demons are already after her!" shouted Gabe.

Anna for some reason was staying behind him. She seemed to treat him like an old friend.

"Gabe? What the hell are you doing here?"

"Trying to give her real memory a damn kick start. The last thing I need is for a damn angel to be in the hands of a demon," said Gabe grumpily.

"Angel?"

"Anna's a rogue angel, one who fell deliberately. Her human memories are clouding over her real ones. Which means if Uriel or Castiel find her first, she's screwed."

"What?" said Sam.

"Look, we need to go. There's a demon heading our way and I sure as hell don't trust that bitch Ruby."

Gabe dragged them to his 'box' as Dean called it.

"Alright, so what the hell is going on?" asked Dean.

"Stay here while I grab the Impala," said Gabe.

A few moments later he came back with a miniature version of Dean's car.

He started flipping switches and pressing buttons. The console started to whirl and hum in response.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting us out of dodge. Now hold on!" said Gabe, flipping the last switch.

There was a small rumble and they felt the box settle.

"Everybody out, unless you want to stick around," said Gabe.

Sam opened the door first, eager to see if they really had moved. He stopped cold in the door.

"What?" asked Dean.

Sam moved to the side and Dean realized why he was surprised.

"Isn't this Bobby's? How did we get all the way here?"

"I transported us here. All I have to do is set the TARDIS to one of the locations, and it takes us there. Still haven't gotten the hang of time travel though...I keep missing a few years, give or take."

"Why did you bring us here?"

"Panic room, ya idjit! Now move!" said Gabe.

Once they were safely in the panic room he locked the door. He then breathed a sigh of relief.

"Neither side will find us for a while. I already laced the room with an Enochian sigil to hide us from the angels for a while."

"What the hell is going on?" demanded Dean.

"Want the quick and sloppy version or the detailed one?" asked Gabe.

"Details!" said Dean.

"Okay, long story short, Anna here is a rogue angel who wanted to be human for a while. Her memories are being clouded by her humanity, which is why she can hear angels without going insane. She can also see demons and an angel's true form. The problem is that most angels are total pricks, so they aren't exactly _happy_ with Anna abandoning her grace to become a 'lesser' being in their words. If they find her like this they will kill her without hesitation. Fortunately there is a few alternatives. One is that I give her back her Grace, which I already picked up a few days ago. Two, I find Gabriel and drop her on him. And Three is I find the Prophet and see if he knows where God went off to. If anyone knows where God went to, it might be him. I am not letting Anna hang around me forever, because I might end up in another alternate and I don't want that headache," said Gabe bluntly.

"Anna's an angel?" said Sam.

"By most terms she's a _fallen_ angel because she doesn't have her grace anymore. Be glad I'm the one who has it or we might have to deal with Uriel."

"So why is she only now starting to get on everyone's radar?" asked Dean.

"Angels are more active on earth. Had the seals remained intact she would have remained unnoticed until her mortal death and she remembered who she was long enough to find her Grace," said Gabe looking at Dean.

"So what do we do?"

"_We_ are going to keep Anna out of the hands of both sides while we figure out what to do. She can't stay here forever."

Anna tilted her head.

"It's weird. The angels are talking again..."

"Oh for crying out loud. Are they trying to bluff or what?" said Gabe, also listening.

"What are they saying?"

"The Winchester hands over Anna or we hurl Dean back into damnation. Which I seriously doubt, because they need you to act as Micheal's Vessel for later. Hang on while I go outside and call their bluff," said Gabe annoyed.

Gabe went outside the house and sent a message back. He probably gave the angels a heart attack, or at least a good scare.

_'Go ahead and try you self-righteous hypocrites. The Micheal Sword and the Innocent Sent To Hell will be here waiting. I know your game, and I know you're bluffing.'_

He ran back downstairs before they could locate where he was. He was back in the panic room while the angels got all stirred up with his reply back. He was grinning like a loon.

Anna gave him an odd look.

"The angels are freaking out. What did you say to them?" she asked.

"I told them that the Micheal Sword and the Innocent Sent to Hell would be here waiting for them," said Gabe grinning evilly.

"Innocent Sent to Hell?" said Sam.

"There's a prophecy, one that was never completed until now. Basically it states that an innocent soul would fall into hell and dragged the soul of the damned while saving the life of the condemned. The Angels are on the lookout for whoever fills that particular slot because it's said that the soul would have the power to kill Lucifer."

Anna winced as she heard what the angels had to say back.

"What?" asked Dean.

"The angels aren't happy. They're freaking out right now, screaming in all sorts of voices," said Anna.

Gabe leaned back with a smirk.

* * *

><p>Gabe went looking for Chuck first. He wanted his autograph anyway.<p>

Gabe was about to ask Chuck for his autograph when he noticed something. Since when did the Prophet have a divine glow around him?

"Um, hello?"

"What are you? I know you're not an angel, and you're definitely no demon with that aura," he asked in confusion.

"Come on in," said Chuck nervously.

Once the door closed he was faced with a surprising change.

"So who or what are you?"

Chuck sighed.

"I'm actually God."

"As in Gabriel's dad? The Christian/Catholic god?" said Gabe.

"Yes. How did you find me?"

"I originally came to ask for an autograph and to see if you knew where God was. I'm not hiding Anna in my house, and I don't feel like dealing with my own dad. I still owe him a punch for putting me in a position to drink that awful demon's blood."

"Anna? I thought she was with Sam and Dean?" said 'Chuck'.

"I grabbed her first, and her Grace. My name is Gabriel Winchester Evans, and I'm the Walker. This is the fifth alternate scenario I've been through. I come from alternate 135," he said simply.

Chuck winced. He hadn't know that the retry method had gone on over a hundred times. It normally took twenty, if that.

"So what do you need?"

"I was hoping that you could hide Anna here with you. That way she won't get into trouble for trying to understand humans better. I mean she is technically following your last request to the angels by loving humans...even if she did take it a little too far."

"And what of her Grace?" asked Chuck.

Gabe held up a Grace Vial. Chuck stared.

"I knew where it was already, so I beat Uriel to it."

* * *

><p>"Good news everyone! I found a place to stash Anna without having to worry about either side grabbing her first. You might have to change your looks a bit though," said Gabe. Then he noticed a new addition.<p>

"Who are you?" asked Ruby.

Gabe hissed at her.

"Begone, deceiver! I know what your plan is, and I won't let you lead Sam down that path. Tell Lilith to go screw herself," he hissed.

Dean and Sam looked at Ruby, then at Gabe.

"What's with you?" asked Dean.

"This bitch is Lilith's spy! She is making sure that you two kill Lilith later and that Sam has a demon blood addiction that the demons can use against you! She's preparing Sam for Lucifer!"

Ruby tried to deny it, but inwardly she wanted to rip him to shreds.

"Who are you?" she snarled at him.

"I am the Walker, hell bitch and I side with the humans," said Gabe, drawing a familiar looking gun.

Ruby paled when she saw the Colt staring at her in the face, and she ran.

"Where did you get the Colt?" asked Dean.

"The Colt isn't what kills demons, it's the bullets. All that's special about this gun is that it can open a demon's gate made by the same man who made the Colt."

Suddenly Gabe froze.

"Anna, come with me. I have to hide you now so I have time to punch Uriel in the face," he said, grabbing her hand.

They vanished and Gabe reappeared without the Grave Vial around his wrist.

"Where did you take her?" demanded Ruby.

"Her father might be pissed at her for denying what she is, but he's even more ticked off at some of the other angels for the moment. Let's just say I put her on probation and she has to re-earn her wings."

Chuck had agreed to take Anna in. If she wanted to return to heaven with a clean slate, then she had to help the Winchesters out later. She would be his hand in the human world later, when Gabe went to the next alternate.

Should be fun to see the angel's faces when they found out where she was.

* * *

><p>Uriel and Castiel appeared in the Singer Auto Yard, just in time for Gabe to slam his fist into Uriel's face with his right hand.<p>

Uriel had a bloody nose.

"Sorry boys, Anna's gone and she is well aware of what she is again. She just got put on probation by your father," said Gabe far too cheerfully.

"God has been missing for centuries," said Uriel, stemming the blood.

"Not missing. Hiding. And I found him entirely by accident. He wants you to know that he has Anna and she is going to be working off her crimes until she returns to heaven. You can't touch her," said Gabe with a sing-song voice.

Uriel snarled when he saw Ruby come out. Gabe looked at her with a cold eye.

"I thought I said to get lost, demon-whore," snarled Gabe.

"How do we know you really found him?" asked Castiel.

He was willing to work on faith at the moment.

Gabe took something out of his little pocket dimension. Uriel hissed and Castiel stared.

It was a single key, made of white gold and literally dripping with Grace.

"What is that?" asked Dean.

"Back door key to heaven. Allows me to go in without dying or using a Grace Vial and keeps the angels from harassing me. God gave it to me when I dropped off Anna. He said since I was working around his no direct interference rule, then I should have something to prove I have met him."

"That is God's Key to heaven. He took it with him when he vanished," said Castiel.

"Now, if you don't mind, I have to make sure that the apocalypse doesn't happen...again...for the fifth time..."

"So you've met God. The actual god?" said Sam.

"Ran into him by accident. He's hiding as a human at the moment, but he's aware of what's actually going on. He can't help because he swore not to directly interfere in the world of the mortals so long as it was possible for humans to deal with things on their own terms. However, that doesn't mean he can't have an intermediary work for him, I/E. Though technically I'm Fate's pawn."

"And what about Anna?" asked Dean.

"She's on probation. God wasn't happy she tore out her grace, but he's willing to let it slide as long as she agrees to work as his hand in the mortal world later."


	30. Fourth Alternate, No Episode

_**Fourth Alternate...no episode**_

Gabe was out and about in England again. He was bored, so he went to see what happened to this alternate...and he nearly gagged.

Dear lord, who the hell convinced him to pair with Draco of all people?

He walked past that Harry Potter, who went by Harry Black in honor of Sirius, and stole the Resurrection Stone off his hand. He was _not_ getting in the middle of that.

He was about to leave England when he saw a hellhound nearby. It was still a puppy. He scooped it up and was back in his house before the demon who was trying to control her vessel had noticed it gone. The mother was less than pleased that one of her pups was missing.

Gabe looked at the hellhound pup who was sniffing Hunter curiously.

"Who's a good girl?" he cooed. She was eating puppy chow that he had made for Hunter when he was that little.

* * *

><p>His house shuddered before it vanished and reappeared near some no-name motel at the side of the road.<p>

"What's up boys?" he asked.

"What, we can't call up to chat?" asked Dean.

"Not normally, no. So what... Sammy, what have I told you about demon's blood?" said Gabe looking up.

Sam blinked. How did he know?

"Your aura is positively reeking of Ruby's demon taint. We'll have to wait a day or two before he can purge the demon blood from his system. Sam, I hate to say this, but you're going back to psychic boot camp. Ruby is only using you so you two muttonheads can kill Lilith and break Lucifer's seal. Demon's blood leaves a weakness that they can and will exploit once Lucifer rises."

A few days later he tricked Sam into eating another angel blood pop. Sam almost gagged, as the sugar was barely enough to hide the taste.

"What is this?"

"Counter to demon's blood and from what I've been told it's better than trying to shoot the counter straight up. Now, are you going to sit down and learn willingly or am I going to have to get rough with you?" said Gabe.

"Will I be able to exorcise demons again?"

"We'll have to build up those mental muscles, but we should be able to get you back up and banishing demons. Ruby made you take the crash course to give those powers a bit of a kick start. It's why you were unable to deal with Alistair before. However we're working from the ground up, meaning it should be a lot stronger later."

He paused when he heard a little bark. He grinned and picked up the hellhound pup. Unlike Hunter this little one was a pure breed.

"Where did you find that?" asked Sam.

"Her. It's a female. I found her on a brief stop to London a few days ago. Her mother torn that demon apart when she realized one of her pups was missing. Who knew hellhounds were territorial around their pups?"

"Don't tell me you plan to train her!" said Sam.

"Why not? Hellhounds are a little more intelligent than normal dogs and I know how to handle them. I'm thinking of calling her Spica, or maybe Hati."

"Dean will freak when he finds out you have another hellhound..." grinned Sam.

"I know. He already hates the fact Hunter steals his pie off his plate," chuckled Gabe evilly. Sam chuckled with him.

* * *

><p>Dean walked in on Sam and Gabe meditating in his zen garden...which was in the middle of a pool.<p>

"Why do you have a pool in your house?"

"Why not? I get bored," said Gabe not opening his eyes.

When Gabe got bored, he often modified his house. He added the pool last week, and put his zen garden in the middle along with a pair of really high diving boards.

Dean looked at the bottom and blinked.

"Are those crosses all along the boarders?"

"Holy water pool. Like I said, I get bored and I modify the house. We have three different libraries, two kitchens, a full potions lab, fifty bedrooms, two different laundry rooms, and multiple rooms to lock demons, witches and angels in. Oh, and I finally found a way to avoid going to the grocery store."

"You need to get laid," said Dean flatly.

"I don't know, I think it makes this place like the real T.A.R.D.I.S.," said Sam.

"How old are you?" asked Dean.

"Well if you count the multiple repeats and the fact I can reverse my physical age...around a hundred easy. Never been on a date though," said Gabe, opening the bridge to the floor. He wasn't in the mood for a swim today.

Dean turned to him, then dragged him out of the house.

"We are getting you laid dammit. No man can go a hundred years without getting his cherry popped!" said Dean.

"I go to nude beaches all the time," said Gabe flatly.

"And you never pick up a hottie?!"

"Why should I?"

Gabe was able to lock his house up and put it on his key chain bracelet before Dean dragged him to the first bar he could find.

Dean later found him in bed with Sam, both drunk off their ass. Closer inspection revealed no clothes on either of them.

Meh, he always knew Sam was gay.

"What the hell did I drink last night?" asked Gabe, holding his head and wincing.

"Vodka," said Dean grinning.

"What the hell are you so smug about?"

"Well considering how I found you and Sammy last night..."

"Dean, shut the hell up. Or at least kill me so I can get out of this damn hangover," groaned Sam.

Gabe took a long drink of something before he handed it over to Sam. Sam didn't think about it, but drank it anyway. He nearly choked on the taste alone.

"What is _that_?" he asked gagging.

"Hangover potion," said Gabe.

Once Sam got over the taste he blinked.

"My migraine's gone..."

"And the sun isn't too loud anymore," said Gabe, then he looked at Dean, "And what do you mean the state you found me and Sammy in?"

"Dude, you were both naked and in the same bed. What else am I supposed to think?"

Gabe blanched. Sam didn't seem to worried about it.

"He was too drunk to actually do anything and we both fell asleep," said Sam. He remembered last night better than Gabe did at the moment.

"Damn, and here I was hoping we managed to get a hundred-year-old virgin laid," said Dean disappointed.

Gabe would have said something, then had a better idea.

"Uh, Dean...is Loki around?"

"Why?"

Gabe pointed outside, and Dean looked. Then screamed like a little girl and ran outside.

Someone had turned his car a most girlish pink and had even turned it from a manly car into something some pampered princess with daddy's credit card who loved frills into.

It was pink. It had lace. It smelled of things that reeked of flowery perfume. There were overly cute bobbing dog heads that upon closer inspection looked exactly like a cuter version of hellhound. And all the music was girl-crap like love songs that any normal man would cringe upon listening to.

In short Dean fainted when he realized what happened to his 'baby'.

Gabe took pictures with his phone and sent it to 'His' Dean in his alternate...and everyone else.

* * *

><p><em>In Retake 134, back at Bobby's house...<em>

Gabriel took one look at the Impala and cracked up. Because he had modified the phone it went to his first, then spread like a virus to everyone else's phone.

Dean swore upon sight of his baby turned into...that. Everyone else laughed, even Castiel. Dean ran outside to assure himself that his car was still manly and not frilly or pink.

_Back with Gabe.._.

Dean cried at the sight of his baby.

"I am going to kill Loki!"

Gabe could only last so long as he leaned against his house. He burst out laughing his ass off.

"Serves you right, Dean!" he sniggered.

Dean looked at him in realization.

"You did this?" he said with a roar.

Gabe laughed harder. Sam winced. Before Dean could strangle him, Gabe vanished into England.

It took three days before his prank on Dean ended, and Dean swore then and there he would shoot Gabe the next time he saw him.

* * *

><p>Gabe was in a predicament. The puppy he had taken from the demon apparently had a mother who was very, very pissed off. And since she had caused so much trouble the demon had set her loose in England with no intention of retrieving her later.<p>

So when he walked in to get his usual treacle tarts, he found himself with a rather angry hellhound mother who wanted to rip him to shreds.

He immediately locked her in a room and then brought Hunter in with him as back up, along with the pup he had named Spica.

Which meant he now had _three_ hell hounds to deal with, one of which wasn't trained just yet. She was more feral than Spica and Hunter, so he wouldn't be bringing her along on any hunts.

He named the new hell hound Lucy as a bad joke.


	31. Fourth Alternate, It's A Terrible Life

**Fourth Alternate..._It's A Terrible Life, When the Levee Breaks, Lucifer Rising_**

Gabe took one look at Dean and Sam and grimaced. This had Zachariah written all over it.

He cornered the two morons, locked the room in a way the angels couldn't get in without divine intervention (not happening) and broke the memory spell.

"Zachariah?" asked Dean, when the pain faded.

Gabe nodded, then handed him a pair of steel-toed spiked boots.

"When he shows up, and he will, I'll distract him while you bust his balls with these. Be sure to put as much strength as you can behind the kick," said Gabe smirking. Dean looked far too eager for his continued existence to agree to this.

Zachariah, having sensed his spell being broken was too distracted by Gabe flaring his wings to notice Dean's presence behind him until it was too late.

He went down like a sack of bricks, a red stain forming where his crotch was.

"Fucking asshole," spat Gabe, making sure to aim in Zachariah's direction. It landed on his face, to his delight.

Dean looked equally pleased.

"Now, where did Captain Asshole abduct you from?" asked Gabe.

* * *

><p>Gabe managed to knock out the two angels who had Anna, though why she was there he had no idea.<p>

"What the hell is going on with you? If Sam stays locked up, then the seal never falls!" he said angrily.

"I had orders," said Castiel uncomfortably.

"I just hope Sam had enough common sense to swipe a box..." said Gabe.

Gabe had left a box of fifty suckers for Sam, so he would be able to counteract the demon's blood on his own.

* * *

><p>Gabe found the idjits in a far too familiar church. Lilith was there, and she was trying to trick them into killing her.<p>

Instead he tricked Ruby into doing the deed by switching Sam with the bitch. Lilith's expression upon the magic taking hold was priceless...unfortunately because she had died because of his actions, the seal fell.

"Move!" shouted Gabe, trying to break down the door. Dean had already shot Ruby on principle.

Even with the combined efforts of Sam, Dean and Gabe, the door stayed firmly shut. Gabe closed his eyes, not wanting to break a Grace Vial just for this mess. He felt God's power kick in, sending them away.

Sam and Dean ended up on a plane about to pass over the spot...while Gabe ended up in another time, but in the same alternate.

"What happened?" he asked.

"You were about to die, and I figured I could use you for something," said Chuck.

Gabe blinked.

"Hey Chuck. See you got Cas out of your hair," said Gabe.

"Har, har. And here I was about to offer you the chance to ruin one of Zachariah's plans and end that annoying future where the virus was set loose," said Chuck.

"You had me at ruining Zachariah's plan."

"I want you to take Dean's place when Zachariah sends him into the 'future' and end Lucifer's reign. I'm tired of seeing that one play out," said Chuck.

"A little polyjuice and some draught of the living death...doable. Is Harry even alive during that 'future'?"

"No, he died at the hands of Ginny. The Stone is in the Forbidden Forest where he dropped it, and he snapped the wand. The cloak was burned with him. You'll have to make a portkey, because if Zachariah realizes that he sent the wrong person, he'll force you back."

"Easily done. I'll hand Dean a portkey, and take it off him when I swap places. What else?"

"I am tired of seeing Castiel's Grace muddled. Think you can clean him up and keep him alive?" asked Chuck.

"Would a super-charged baptism work?"

"Possibly. Though I have to warn you, you're close to falling if you keep bleeding in order to 'purge' the demon blood from Sam."

"Would breaking a Grace Vial work?" asked Gabe.

Chuck shook his head.

"You've used up too much of your divine blood for that to help. You would have to find another way to purge the blood. Using that 'super-charged' holy water is acceptable enough, but making candy from your blood is a bad idea. You'll have to abstain for the next few alternates while your natural Grace equalizes the missing pieces."

"I wasn't aware that it was so bad," said Gabe frowning.

"You do know that Sam accepted Lucifer's offer in that future, correct? It would take more than diluted angel's blood in order to cleanse that taint from his soul in order to enter heaven."

"What if he worked it off?" asked Gabe.

"It would take a lot for him to work it off," said Chuck.

"But it's still possible right? I mean even if I did fix Cas' so he could re-enter heaven, he would be as welcome there as I would before I'm done cleaning up this mess. What if they traveled with me for a while and we cut off that future?"

"Possible..." said Chuck, thinking about it. Cleaning up Castiel so he could return to heaven would take more than a baptism and making him sober. Having him work off the humanity he had gained would go a long way to redeeming him...the same for Sam, after he accepted Lucifer's offer.

"And it's getting kind of boring just traveling alone."

"How do you plan to avoid the paradox effect?" asked Chuck.

"Animagus forms. I can turn Castiel into a cat and call him Yrael or Mogget. Sam could become Saraneth, and take the form of a hellhound."

"Having an animagus ability would differentiate the two enough that they could slip past any paradox effects, especially if we close off that particular route. And you have been successful in reforming those hellhounds. Hunter and Spica are acceptable enough to enter heaven without setting off the alarms," said Chuck.

"Plus it fits with the theme I have going. Saraneth is the Binder, and I can give Sam the ability to bind demons or the lower angels long enough to make them 'walk' back to whichever side they came from. And Castiel's future self fits the form of Yrael, who was bound by the Seven because he refused to get involved and was made to serve their descendants as penance."

"Wouldn't that fit Gabriel better though?"

"Castiel is a good second choice. What happened to him in that future anyway?"

"I have no idea," admitted Chuck. Gabriel pretty much fell off the radar the second the virus was set loose. He couldn't have become infected, and he definitely hadn't died. Which suggested he was waiting for the end or until things settled down.

"So the plan is I take Dean's place in the future, clean up Cas and hopefully save Sam?" said Gabe.

"Pretty much. I'm fairly sure the horsemen were in that building when Dean stormed the place."

"Do I get to stab Lucy?"

"Go for it."


	32. Fourth Alternate, In the End

_**Fourth Alternate...Ep. In the End**_

Dean was easily knocked out by Gabe, who stole a few hairs and tossed them into the polyjuice before taking a swig. He dropped Dean into his room and dosed him with some Draught of the Living Death so he wouldn't wake up and ruin this.

He left Dean a portkey to the Forbidden Forest as an emergency thing, and another for Sam that would drop him in Bobby's safe room. He just lied about where Dean's went.

Taking Dean's place was easy...not kicking Zachariah again in the balls when he touched his forehead and sent him to the 'future' was something he wasn't happy about.

Still, he played the part of Dean rather well until his portkey went off. He grabbed the stone when he finally found it, and Zachariah, irritated beyond belief that Dean had somehow managed to 'escape' to the wrong damn continent, bodily hauled him back to Bobby's house. He knew that Gabe had something to do with the magical transport, but he didn't know why it had gone to that particular place in England and not to Bobby's house.

Reading "Dean's" mind revealed no answers, only confusion about why he was in a place with a ruined castle. The Dean of this alternate was a muggle, so he couldn't see Hogwarts.

Gabe smirked at having played Zachariah like a fiddle.

_'Step two, retrieving the stone and returning without drawing suspicion, complete. Now to find 'my' future self.'_

It took Gabe a day to find his future self, having taken the pill form of polyjuice, having 'stolen' some painkillers for his dislocated arm.

They were spelled with a time delay to release just enough polyjuice to keep him looking like Dean for twelve hours. Once he had Castiel cleared up, he wouldn't need the potion to hide, as a simple glamour would do the same thing and Zachariah wouldn't be paying him any attention at that point anyway.

* * *

><p>Gabe felt like shit, and it didn't take a brain surgeon to figure out why.<p>

"How the hell did you end up here?" demanded Dean.

"Zachariah," he said, spitting out a small measure of blood.

Dean moved to leave, since Gabe had fooled him well enough to trick his 'double' to believing he was his past self.

Grabbing a small paperclip, he picked the locks on the handcuffs Dean had used.

"Freaking ass," muttered Gabe.

It took him all of five minutes to locate Chuck, having run into him.

Once he confirmed that yes, he was allowed to beat the ever-living shit out of Zachariah for forcing Dean to go through this nonsense repeatedly and the agreement to make Sam a magical so he could switch between hellhound and human, he went to find out where Dean vanished off too.

Seeing Dean about to shoot a man, he slapped him upside the head.

"Drink this, and no arguments," he said flatly.

Dean recognized it as holy water, but wasn't expecting what happened next.

The poor idiot who got infected started screaming before he vomited out something brackish and foul smelling.

"What the hell?" demanded Dean.

"Holy water mixed with angel's blood and stirred with untainted unicorn horn. Super-charged holy water basically. The angel's blood counteracts the virus, while the properties of the unicorn horn purify the taint and charge up the holy water. It's the only known counter-agent for the Croatoan virus that actually works, though the real bitch is getting angel's blood."

"How did you know it would work?"

"Because I've used it before idjit. Wait until he's done throwing up and give him a second dose to be sure. Besides, angel's blood is a known antidote to demon's blood," said Gabe.

"Angel's blood works against demons?" demanded Dean. Why hadn't Castiel mentioned that sooner? He could have saved Sam!

Gabe gave Dean a flat look.

"Did you even try to seal Lucifer back in the pit, or did you just leave Sam behind after River Pass?" he asked.

"Sam and I split up at River Pass. I haven't seen him in years," said Dean.

"No wonder things went to hell. Have you located the other three horsemen?" demanded Gabe.

"They follow Lucifer around," said Dean. They were back in the camp and at a table. The 'infected' man was waiting for that second dose, but even so they weren't entirely sure that the holy water had cleared him out.

"Do you still have War's ring?"

Dean put it on the table.

"Right. Here's the deal, though why none of the angels bothered to tell you this I have no idea. You need all four horsemen's rings in order to seal Lucifer back in the pit and the Resurrection Stone which was in England."

"Was?" said Dean.

Gabe put a white stone on the table.

"This allows any who know what they're doing to bring back a shade of someone who's died...or to touch souls. If you can get the other three rings and put this in Death's ring, then you can seal Lucifer permanently in the pit. The Colt doesn't do shit against him because he's a former Arch Angel and not a demon."

"The Colt is supposed to kill anything that it shoots," said Dean.

"It was made by human hands, not divine. Besides, Lucifer is an arch angel...a fallen one of course, but still an angel. The Colt was designed specifically to kill _demons_...and the actual gun itself was made to keep a hell gate in Wyoming closed. Aside from that they only thing special about it is the specially treated bullets which react negatively to anything that isn't divine in nature. If you don't believe me, look at one of the bullets," said Gabe.

Dean pulled out the Colt and unloaded one of the bullets. Gabe helpfully handed over a magnifying glass.

"Try looking at the bottom."

"Son of a bitch...this bullet's mass manufactured?" he said in shock.

"Like I said, specially treated bullets. Still haven't found the original recipe just yet. So far the only thing I've narrowed down is that you soak the gunpowder in holy water and mix it into a paste before letting it dry and grind it back up, and then use holy oil to keep the outside cool while you engrave the Enochian inscription into the bullet's shell."

Dean suddenly looked at his 'past' self with suspicion.

"Who the hell are you really? There's no way you're my past self."

"Obviously. The ass known as Zachy got the wrong hunter...probably because I already knew he planned to drop Dean here in the first place and I had a request to change things. I happen to know where God buggered off to, and he asked that I get Castiel back on track and if I felt like it save Sam from Lucifer. Heaven knows that arrogant asshole wouldn't hesitate to make Sam share the same body just to make him suffer. Once I leave this future timeline gets cut off from angelic influence and you lot can get back to fixing this mess on your own terms."

Dean raised an eyebrow.

"Who are you really?"

"My real name is Gabriel. I'm not the arch angel, but I am related to him. All you really need to know is that I was asked by God to help clean this mess up without breaking the 'no direct interference' law that anything of sufficient power and influence have with humans. It's why Castiel couldn't find him...he couldn't do anything even if he did locate God."

"So how do we gank Lucifer?"

"We find him, you lot get the other three rings and put this in Death's ring, and combine the four so that the cage comes back open. I kick Lucifer's ass back into it, and God goes back to heaven to give the angels an asskicking for allowing him to get out in the first place," said Gabe.

"What about Cas?" asked Dean.

"I'm taking Cas with me. God sent me partly to fix this mess and close off this future from angel influence, but also to give Castiel a second chance at earning his angel privileges back."

"I guess you better get started then," said Dean, leading him to Castiel.

* * *

><p>Castiel took one look at Gabe without the potion hiding his true form, and did two things.<p>

Wince and go wide-eyed in shock.

"Gabriel. You're alive."

"Wrong Gabriel, Castiel. God sent me with a message."

If Cas wasn't already sitting down he would have fallen over in shock.

"What?"

"He wants you to know that he's sorry he had to hide from you, and since you did at least _try_ to help the humans solve this on their own he's willing to put you on probation and earn your wings back. He's also said that I can give Sam Winchester the same deal, but you would have to give up your current rank first."

Castiel looked more sober than Dean had seen in a long time.

"What do I have to do?" he asked.

"First we're going to have to clean off a lot of the humanity you have clinging to you. You can't be human and an angel at the same time unless you were born like that."

Gabe brought out his house, without the noise, and opened the door.

"You can watch if you want Dean."

Dean shook his head.

"I have to get everyone ready to storm Lucifer's base."

* * *

><p>Gabe lead Castiel into the house. Once he found the larger of the three bathrooms, he had Castiel put on a robe.<p>

It was going to take some serious work to baptize an angel back into Grace.

He filled the tub with holy water, threw in a few spare unicorn horns and phoenix feathers before he added the final ingredient...his own blood.

This would strengthen the holy water past it's limits as well as bind Castiel to him later.

The outside of the tub became laced with Enochian glyphs the moment he stirred in the blood with the water, which was glowing gold from how strong it was.

Symbols for purity, cleansing, healing, light and of course, binding.

"I hope you're ready for this Castiel. There's no going back once you get in this water," said Gabe.

"I don't deserve a second chance, but if he's willing to give me one I will not fail him twice," said Castiel shaking his head.

"When you enter this water, you leave behind the name Castiel. My magic and blood will bind you to me as a soldier. None of the other angels will be able to command you without my permission. You will be an outcast until the name of the Walker is no longer needed. Are you prepared for that sacrifice?"

Castiel didn't say anything. He could live with being bound to another angel so long as he was allowed back. The pain of humanity was too great for him to stand, and he would kill to become an angel again. To feel his Grace once more.

"Then enter the water Castiel, and be reborn."

Castiel entered the water, which was warm. It felt like being in His presence again. Gabriel chanted over the water in Enochian, not that he could hear it. He could feel the humanity falling off like chains and his Grace slowly returning. His powers became bound in a new form as did his body. He shrank into the form of a pure white cat. There was the sound of a pure bell from above and his head broke through the water.

Around his neck was a golden collar with a tiny bell around it.

He could feel his Grace once more, as well as a connection to Gabriel.

"_Until this task is done, your name will be...Yrael,"_ intoned Gabriel.

It was unlikely Yrael would get the significance of his name until he read the third book of the trilogy.

He meowed pitifully, soaking wet.

"Kitten, if you want to walk on two legs again, merely focus on being in human form."

Yrael meowed, before he focused on his humanity. Nothing happened.

"I said human form, not humanity's form. Try imagining your former vessel," suggested Gabriel in amusement.

He blinked, then imagined the long dead Jimmy. He could feel himself shift into that form, though something was different about it. Gabriel handed him a small mirror.

His hair was now bone white in color, and his eyes were still their blue only now they had a light behind them that made them glow.

Gabe hit his hair with a color-changing charm to avoid awkward questions from Dean.

* * *

><p>Gabe ran into Chuck again, and he seemed rather happy that Castiel was back to normal...well, as close as a half-angel could make him.<p>

"Now, about Sam..."

"I don't know what to tell you. Maybe if you tried to exorcise Lucifer and felt for the human soul of Sam?" asked Chuck.

"That might work. Or I could summon Sam's soul and stick it into a hellhound pup until it's old enough..." said Gabe.

"We have a location. Gabe, you'll go with Cas," said Dean.

Gabe shrugged.

* * *

><p>Gabe swiped the pills from Yrael.<p>

"You don't need those anymore," he said firmly.

"It is hard to ignore the addiction," he said.

"Try one of these," said Gabe. Yrael popped one in his mouth and his eyes widened comically.

"I got into trouble for making them, so until we get rid of that addiction you'll have to make due for a while."

Yrael nodded.

* * *

><p>Gabe ended up finding Lucifer before Dean did, though they did run into the other three Horsemen.<p>

Dean had the stone, so all he had to do was find Lucifer to kick his ass back into hell.

The angel in Sam's body chuckled when he saw 'Dean' standing there looking annoyed. He let Lucifer speak, idiots like him always had _something_ to say, while he searched for the last spark of humanity hidden by Lucifer's power.

When Lucifer finally shut up and actually looked at him, he finally found what was left of Sam's soul.

It was torn to hell and in bad shape, but it was still human in nature. He smirked and reached into his back pocket (in reality he was reaching for something in his house) and pulled something out.

It was a stillborn hellhound pup. One he had risked great personal injury to retrieve before Lucy ate it.

"What do you plan to do with _that_?" asked Lucifer both surprised and amused.

"Nothing much...just this," said Gabriel...and he reached past Lucifer's powers and soul to grab what remained of Sam Winchester. The look of shock on Lucifer's face was evident as Gabe held Sam in the palm of his hand before shoving it into the dead pup.

"You're not Dean Winchester," said Lucifer accusingly.

"No shit Sherlock. I'm the innocent who fell into hell dragging the damned in order to save the condemned. I am the Walker. Now Dean!" shouted Gabe, dropping his illusion.

Dean Winchester put all four rings and the stone together before he dropped it on the ground. Gabe took out the Colt and shot Lucifer right in the face.

Lucifer stumbled and fell right back into the pit...and this time his cage would _stay_ closed.

The seal absorbed the stone and all four rings.

Dean looked at the puppy, which was now very much alive and breathing.

"What do you plan to do with that?" he asked.

"What's left of Sam is inside of this hellhound pup. God said if I could manage it, he would give Sam a second chance like he did for Castiel. So I'm going to keep him with me so he earns that second chance."

Dean waved him off.

"He's better off with you. I just messed things up," said Dean.

"Have fun fixing things," said Gabe, entering his house. Yrael was already in his room adjusting things to his preference.

"Thanks...for saving him," said Dean.

Gabe waved him off before he closed the door. God made sure to drop him off in the hotel so he could insure the future he was in would be closed off indefinitely.

He retrieved the Impala, then dumped it and Dean at Bobby's house with a firm note to call Sam otherwise he would lose his precious car.


	33. Fourth Alternate no episode

_**Fourth Alternate...no episode**_

He was warm and safe for the first time in years. He didn't feel the ever present shredding of his mind. He was too weak to open his eyes, but he did enjoy listening to the voice. It was gentle and warm. Occasionally he heard another familiar voice, one he couldn't recognize. His mind had been nearly destroyed from the pain alone.

Sometimes warm hands would pick him up and give him something to drink. He knew it was from a baby bottle, though he didn't care. All he knew was that he was safe...and that Lucifer wasn't in control of his body anymore.

Eventually he was able to open his eyes, though his vision was too unfocused and it made him dizzy.

He slept long and deep, secure in the knowledge he wasn't in pain anymore.

* * *

><p>"He's asleep again," commented Mogget, his tail moving idly back and forth.<p>

It had taken him all of a week since leaving that desolate future to figure out how to talk as a cat, and ever since then Gabe had taken to calling him Mogget. Since he was also recovering from the purging of his humanity, he was often put in charge of watching Saraneth sleep.

He never got the significance of the names until he read the books Gabriel gave him until his form settled. He didn't mind staying in the library as it meant he could avoid running into his past self.

After two months had passed, during which time Gabe had great fun in poking at Sam and Dean through his father who had recreated the whole warehouse scene (and recording their shocked looks at the fact Loki, the same trickster who had killed Dean repeatedly and traumatized Sam for months was a father to the guy who pranked them) and he managed to relocate Jesse without forcing him to chose a side. Jesse was currently living with Anna as part of her punishment for trying to deny what she truly was...and she had to teach him to control his powers.

When Saraneth was finally old enough to start eating solid foods, Gabe decided he was old enough to take outside the house...along with Mogget, who seemed to enjoy riding on his shoulder like a parrot.

* * *

><p>"Hey Gabe," said Sam, finding an old episode of <em>Doctor Who <em>playing on the TV.

"Hey runt," said Dean, cleaning his gun.

Bobby made a noise indicating he saw the kid, but didn't care to actually talk.

"Hello boys. Sam, mind holding Saraneth for me while I get started on the food?"

"Saraneth? As in the Binder?" said Sam in surprise.

"Yup."

"Sure. Where is he?"

Gabe carefully placed the puppy in Sam's hands, and the pup curled up in his lap. He did stay up long enough to watch the episode though.

"Who's the cat?"

"This is Mogget. Oh, and could you do me a favor Dean?" asked Gabe.

"What?"

"Don't shoot at him," said Gabe. The cat jumped off his shoulder and sat at the table. He stared at Dean with electric blue eyes.

"Off the table furball."

Mogget flicked his tail at him, sending a few bullets to the floor. He took a swipe at Dean when he tried to pick the cat up.

"Unhand me now Winchester or I swear to Father I'll bite you," growled Mogget.

Dean dropped the cat in shock.

"Cas?" he asked in confusion.

"Not anymore. His name is now Yrael, or Mogget if you want. He lost the name Castiel when I purged all the humanity that kept him human out of him."

"What happened?" asked Sam, petting the puppy.

"Long story short, God asked me to take Dean's place when Zachariah sent him to a future where Lucifer forced you to say yes and where you never made up. In exchange I had to bind Castiel to me and possibly save you in the process. So I decided to turn the two of them into my Companions," said Gabe.

"It was you! You're the ass who knocked me out for a week and cut my hair!" said Dean.

"If I hadn't, then that future would still be open for Zachariah to dump your ass in! God wanted me to save Cas and to lock that future away from angelic influence!"

Mogget jumped back onto Gabe's shoulder.

"So why did you hand me the dog?" asked Sam.

"That would be because that's your future alternate. He's still recovering from Lucifer riding his body without releasing his soul. The reason I handed him to you is so that it would speed up. He still has trouble staying awake for over a few hours."

Sam looked at the hellhound pup, which had curled asleep. Then back at Gabe.

"Seriously?"

"It was either stick him in a body that would suit his nature or leave him with Dean's future self...and considering that moron was willing to kill someone in cold blood simply because they were infected and wouldn't hesitate to kill you if given half the chance in the past, it was the easiest chose to make," deadpanned Gabe.

"Will he be able to talk?"

"Once he pulls himself together or that body matures enough to handle the strain, he'll be able to switch from human to hellhound. As an apology for the angels, god made him magical and hellhound is now his animagus form."

"Animagus?" said Bobby.

"It means he can take animal form. For example, Yrael here is a white cat."

"And what's yours?" said Dean.

"No way in hell are you finding that out," said Gabe flatly.

Dean suddenly grinned, sensing something amusing.

"Oh now I _have_ to know," he said.

"No way in hell," repeated Gabe, suddenly backing up. Mogget, sensing that Dean wouldn't leave Gabriel alone until he knew, jumped off his shoulder and sat next to Sam and the pup. Gabe bolted.

Fifteen minutes later they heard Dean laughing his ass off. Sam and Bobby went to look.

Standing there, looking extremely pissed off...was a bi-winged unicorn with gold coat. He looked tempted to kick Dean...but settled for kicking over a car instead. Dean winced and started to back off.

Gabe lowered his head until his horn was level with Dean's ass...and charged. Dean narrowly made it to the door before the horn speared the screen.

"You're fixing that," said Bobby.

* * *

><p>He could think in complete sentences again. How long had it been since he could think of anything other than the pain and horror?<p>

The warm hands were back, and they brought food.

Here was another big change. He could feel and enjoy the act of eating again. His eyes locked onto the one who reminded him of someone. Who, he had no idea, but he didn't like that person. But the man had warm hands, and he was gentle. He knew that this was the one who saved him, who was putting his mind back together slowly so he could adjust.

So he trusted him completely.

There was another feeling he wasn't used to...not in a long time anyway.

Trust. Ever since Dean...who was Dean again? He felt as if he should know who Dean was, but it eluded him like his own name. The man called him Saraneth, so he decided he would remember that as his name. He knew it started with an S and an A, but that was it. Once his belly was full, he curled around the white cat the man called Mogget and slept. He could think later.

"Well Gabriel?" asked Mogget. Sam's broken soul curled around his feline body again.

"It's better. Letting him near his past self sped up the process quite a bit. He knows the name Dean and most of his name, but he doesn't know why. He also recognizes this face, but knows that he can trust me completely," said Gabriel, having read the pup's mind.

He was as tall as an old CD boombox, but his mind was still healing.

Yrael had stabilized, but he actually preferred being a cat so he rarely changed into his human form.

"How long until he's able to remember?"

"If we leave him near Sam more, he should start to remember more and more. Like I said, leaving him with his past self seems to help him absorb his old memories."

* * *

><p>Gabe was torn between going to the fan convention and staying home.<p>

He decided to go, if only to expose Saraneth to his past again.

Sam kept the pup in his pocket under a notice-me-not charm and when the ghosts were put to rest (Gabe told them to burn the children, not the woman) he handed the puppy back to Gabe.

Saraneth barked and hobbled over to him, wagging his tail.

Being around Sam for a prolonged period and during a hunt seemed to have accelerated the recovery process. He was able to stay awake longer.

* * *

><p>Gabe was back. He was able to remember the name now, and he found thinking easier. Mogget curled around him while he ate, and this time he was able to stay awake after eating. His body was a lot stronger now, though he found it strange that he was so short that he couldn't clear the first level of the bookcase. The bookshelves were barely over a foot tall.<p>

Eventually Gabe turned on _Doctor Who_ and he managed to jump onto the couch. Mogget joined him on the top, and curled up for a nap. Watching the familiar adventures of the time traveling mad man in the blue box, he remembered something important.

Sam. That was his name, a long time ago.

"You okay Sammy?" asked Gabe.

Sammy...that was his nickname a long time ago. Dean used to...who was Dean? He struggled to remember. Dean was important, or he used to be. Dean had that big black car and played the same tapes over and over again. He always followed John's orders...who was John?

No, he had to remember Dean. Who was Dean? Why did he feel very important to him? Why did he feel a sharp pain in his heart when he thought of the name Dean?"

Gabe paused the show and looked at him in the eyes.

"Sam, listen to me. The memories need time for you to adjust to the new body you're in. Relax. The more you try to force them to come, the longer you'll be recovering. I had to patch your soul back together just for you to be able to survive this long. If the memories come too quickly then you might die."

Sam wanted to remember. Suddenly Gabe picked him up and petting him behind the ears. He started to hum a song and Mogget's voice sang with him. He struggled to stay awake, but it was no use. Once he was sound asleep, Gabe turned off the TV and let Mogget curl up next to him on an extra pillow. For some reason the angel liked sleeping next to him.

Hunter and Spica were on either side of Gabe, and Lucy was on her own personal doggy bed. Sam was sleeping in Gabe's arms, snuggled into a warm spot.

* * *

><p>Gabe dropped Saraneth with Sam again. He would continue to leave the pup with him four times a week for the next month, and after each visit the broken soul's memory seemed to increase in leaps and bounds.<p>

Castiel seemed rather shocked to feel Sam's soul twice, even if one was broken.

After the seventh week since his soul was place into a hellhound pup, Sam remembered Dean. And that opened up an entirely new set of problems.

Hunter and Spica kept Sam inside the house and wore him down long enough for his memories to calm.

Once the snarling was over, Gabe peaked in.

Sam looked pitiful. Dean had been the breaking point for all his memories to come pouring back.

Gabe gathered the hellhound pup in his arms, soothing the betrayal, the hurt, the grief, the self-loathing he had once he remembered his past and how he ended up saying yes to Lucifer.

Dean turning his back on him had been the last straw. Sam had been feeling like he wasn't worthy of redemption since the seal broke, and Dean giving up on him at that critical point had sent him into a spiral of despair. All Lucifer had to do was break Sam's spirit, and he could claim the body.

He seemed to enjoy the feelings of betrayal and absolute sorrow each time he confronted Dean with Sam's face.

Gabe sang to him softly, letting Sam exhaust himself.

* * *

><p>The next morning Sam attempted a shift. If Mogget hadn't been watching him, he might have gotten himself killed.<p>

It took everything Gabe had to keep Sam from committing suicide. He gently sang Sam's body to sleep.

"_Weep not for roads untraveled_

_Weep not for paths left alone_

_Cause beyond every bend_

_Is a long blinding end_

_It's the worst kind of pain I've known_

_Give up your heart left broken_

_And let that mistake pass on_

_Cause the love that you lost_

_Wasn't worth what it cost_

_And in time you'll be glad it's gone_

_Whoa, whoa, whoa _

_Whoa, whoa, whoa_

_Weep not for roads untraveled_

_Weep not for sights unseen_

_May your love never end_

_And if you need a friend_

_There's a seat here alongside me."_

**(Linkin Park, Roads Untraveled from their _Living Things_ CD.)**


	34. Fourth Alternate

_**Fourth Alternate, no episode**_

Sam woke up and knew.

He was alive and free of Lucifer. The panic he had felt when he realized why his eyes weren't as high as they were supposed to be had nearly forced a change he wasn't ready for. He smelled something yummy cooking and fell off the bed. It almost felt like he was crawling on all fours and he didn't know why.

He looked down and saw paws. He panicked. What was going on with him?

"Calm down Sam. Your true body was sent down with Lucifer into the Pit forever, so Kibeth gave you a new one. Once you can handle the strain, he'll help you gain a human form," yowled a white cat. Mogget, his mind told him. Seeing a mirror nearby, he looked into it.

He was a hellhound! It took all he had not to break down and panic by running.

"He's awake is he? Good. It's about time he understood what was going on," said a voice. He knew this voice.

It belonged to the one who saved him...Gabe. He had cared for him while his mind repaired itself and kept him warm during the many, many nightmares.

Gabe leaned down and picked up the puppy-Sam. Once he was on the table and near a plate of food, Sam looked at him.

"The steak is yours, I've already fed Hunter and Spica. Oi Mogget, do you want to eat your fish or not?" called Gabe.

The cat known as Mogget (and why did those names sound so familiar?) jumped off his spot and _changed_.

Wasn't that Castiel with white hair? Why did his hair change color and since when could he turn into a cat?!

"Calm down Sammy. Once you eat we'll explain everything."

Sam looked at his plate. The steak _did_ look really good and he was hungry...

He saw how Hunter and Spica ate their meat, and leaned down to eat his own. It was easier than trying to use a fork and knife like he was used to.

Once he was done and the food cleared, Gabe looked at him.

"Okay, first thing you have to know is that your timeline and your body are officially sealed off. When Dean learned that I was giving you a second chance, he willingly allowed me to take you with me. Also, the Dean you'll be seeing a lot more of is aware that you are not the same Sam he is used to, and he has only been given the bare basics of what happened. He won't shoot you on sight."

Who was this guy?

"My name is Gabriel Evans, but the angels know me as Kibeth, or the Walker. Mogget here was originally Castiel from your timeline, but he bound himself to me so he could have a chance to reenter heaven without getting into trouble from the higher ups. As you can tell, the binding gave him a new form and turned his hair white. His Grace has diminished quite a bit, so he has lost most of his powers."

Kibeth? Mogget? Aren't those names from that fiction book?

Gabe chuckled.

"I took my angel name from the books. Your name, for example, is now Saraneth, the bell of Binding."

Could Gabe read his mind?

"Yes, I can read your mind. I _am_ the one who bound what was left of your soul into that body after all. Now before you get too confused, let me explain about your new body. When I saved your soul from Lucifer, I had to bind it to the hellhound pup you're now in. Once you can handle this new situation and are able to deal with seeing Dean without mauling him, I'll teach you how to shift between the form of the hellhound and your new human form."

Sam felt more regret than anger towards Dean. It was his fault for believing in that damn Ruby and for letting Lucifer free.

"Don't you dare blame yourself! Demons blood is extremely addictive, and she's had _centuries_ of experience convincing people to fall for her. She knew when and how to hit you so that you couldn't help but trust her! Dean was an idiot for not trusting your bond enough to try and save you! And the angels are partly to blame for Lucifer getting free...if they had told you _what_ you needed to know, he would still be in the damn pit where he belongs!" said Gabe, grabbing his scruff firmly.

Sam stared into Gabe's emerald green eyes. They were so warm and kind...he didn't deserve kindness. Not after he gave into Lucifer of all creatures. Gabe smacked his head a little...it stung but didn't hurt.

"You are worth saving Sam. If I didn't believe that, then I wouldn't have dragged what remained of your soul out of that cursed body before we threw Lucifer back into hell."

Sam felt a warm hand scratching his ear. It felt really good and his back leg started kicking.

Yrael chuckled in amusement.

"Every human deserves a second chance Sam. I had fallen so low that I was nearly human and my Grace was all but gone. Gabe found me and gave me the choice to serve under him and redeem myself or to die a human and end up an outcast in heaven. You have no idea how low I sank in my despair. If I can find peace, then so can you," said Yrael.

Sam whimpered. Was it possible? Could he be forgiven and make up for his mistakes? Gabe gently picked him up and scratched his head. Sam nuzzled into his arms, basking in his warmth and the security he felt. This was the feeling he had latched onto...this was the one who saved his soul when he had forgotten what it meant to be himself.

He closed his eyes...and hoped that maybe, just maybe, he could be saved too.

Gabe held the sleeping pup and looked at Mogget, who had taken cat form again.

"He needed that," said Mogget, his tail curled around his legs.

"Even the most pitiful of humans are deserving of redemption...and I'll see to it that he has his best shot, even if it means shoving the truth down his Dean's throat to do it."

* * *

><p>Sam and Dean looked up when they saw the puppy, walking a little less awkwardly than before.<p>

"He's remembered who he is. This is a big test, so don't be surprised if he has trouble being around Dean," explained Gabe.

The puppy sniffed Bobby and even wagged his tail when the man gruffly scratched his ears. He didn't know how to react to Sam, but he let the man pet him without trying to maul him. It was because of Sam he had recovered as much as he had, even if right now his soul was still repairing the damage done. Being around his past self was a big healing factor, since it gave the broken parts an idea of what was needed and how to repair the shattered bits.

It was Dean that was the deciding factor though.

Dean carefully picked up the hellhound, who curled his tail between his legs as if afraid of being hit. He whined and didn't dare look Dean in the eyes.

Dean however, looked at the pup right in the face and made him look at the human in the eyes whether he wanted to or not.

After a good five minutes, Dean put him down.

"It's Sammy alright."

The puppy blinked then slowly wagged his tail.

Gabe grinned.

"Told you Dean wouldn't hate you for what happened," said Gabe.

The pup barked. He seemed to become more like a puppy when Dean even shared his pie with him.

Dean and Bobby both chuckled at the sight.

Gabe gave the pup the choice to travel with Sam and Dean for a month uninterrupted or to travel with him. If he went with the brothers, his soul would mend all the faster. If he chose Gabriel, then his mind would heal. Either way he would be mending.

He chose Gabe.

* * *

><p>"Heya kiddo! What's with the Sasquatch in the hellhound?" asked Loki.<p>

"He's from that alternate future where Lucifer ran rampant. God asked me to redeem Castiel and if I wanted to, Sammy. Cas is now Mogget and he seems to prefer his cat form. What's left of Sammy's soul is now in the hellhound."

Loki leaned down to look at Sam. Sam blinked back...and growled.

"He remembers you. He still hasn't forgiven you for that Mystery Spot incident...I dare say it only made things much worse."

"You do realize his attachment problem is still there," said Loki.

"I'm fairly sure he's broken apart from Dean and is slowly latching onto me instead."

"Don't you view the muttonheads as your older brothers?" said Loki, raising an eye.

"Most of the time yes, but it's different with this one. I couldn't stand Dean's self-righteous attitude...he was about to kill a man in cold blood Dad! If I hadn't given them the cure the man would have died...and Death knows what he might have done had I not told him how to deal with Lucifer and helped him! I wasn't about to leave what was left of Sam's soul trapped in that nightmare until Lucifer tired of torturing him or had killed Dean. He was barely there when I saved him!" said Gabe.

"Is that why he's so broken? I was wondering why he felt like half a soul," said Loki.

"Sam's soul is healing. If he chooses to bond to Gabe like I did, it might heal naturally and be more solid than it was before. Both Sam and Dean have defective souls," said Mogget from Gabe's shoulder.

"Dad decided to let you bond to Gabe here in exchange for paying penance for nearly falling?" asked Loki, quirking an eyebrow.

"Yes," said Mogget.

Mogget actually purred when Loki petted him.

"Your Grace is pretty small for one of your station, but I can feel it steadily rising in minor increments. You might even make Seraph hanging around the idjit," said Loki, his eyebrows rising.

Mogget blinked.

"I could care less what the others would think of me rising that high."

Gabe suddenly chuckled.

"What?"

"It's nothing, just...well I really have become the angel version of the Doctor now haven't I? I've even gathered a couple of companions to go along for the ride!" he said laughing.

The puppy blinked, before it started wiggling on Gabe's lap. His eyes were laughing as he processed that statement.

"I'll never understood this obsession with _Doctor Who_ that you have," said Loki, shaking his head.

"I'm British, and the Doctor's luck was far too much like my own," chuckled Gabe. He sympathized with the Doctor. That was why he loved to watch the show.

* * *

><p>Sam snuggled up closer to Gabe. He felt at home with the cambion, which was more than could be said around the Winchester brothers.<p>

Gabe didn't mind if Sam lay next to him, in fact he often opened a spot around him so the puppy could jump onto his lap. When Gabe woke up, he smiled at the tiny hellhound.

Today he was going to show Sam how to shift from his current form to something a little more familiar.

"Time to wake up," he said gently.

The pup chuffed.

_Don't want to,_ he said in Gabe's mind.

"Then I guess I won't show you how to shift like Mogget can," he said teasingly.

The pup's eyes flew open wide and he looked at Gabe, his tail wagging like crazy.

"Your soul is solid enough that you can handle the change, and your mind is finally able to deal with the shift. Once you get the hang of that I'll teach you magic."

_Why is there a field inside here?_ He asked.

"So Spica and Hunter can go to the bathroom without me having to let them out. Besides, I had room," said Gabe.

Mogget chuffed from his spot on Gabe's shoulder.

"As far as I've been able to tell, this place is infinite. So the idea that you 'had room' is laughable at best," said Mogget.

Gabe flicked him on the nose.

"No comments from the peanut gallery!" said Gabe.

He barked in amusement.

"Now the big thing about changing is that you have to focus on your human form. Normally it's changing into an animal that's hard...in your case it will be the opposite. Now, I want you to focus on how you looked before. Focus on Sam as he is now," said Gabe.

He scrunched his puppy face. He knew what Sam of now looked like, having spent hours around him and Dean so his soul could patch itself back together.

"To shift, you have to let yourself fall into that image and allow the changes to take place. I want you to fall into the image of Sam Winchester and let the changes happen as they will. Your form will be similar, but there will be some minor changes."

He chuffed, and let his soul fall into that pattern. His mind and soul knew what it was supposed to be like, but his body had to follow suit. He took a step forward...and found grass at his nose.

His nose twitched...it was a lot less powerful than normal. He opened his eyes to find that he could see colors better too.

"You had an easier time than he did. Then again he tried to fall into his humanity the first go around," snorted Gabe.

He put his front half on the ground and tried to rise. He found it a bit awkward, yet familiar at the same time. Gabe looked a bit surprised, but handed him clothes.

He finished with the familiar act of putting on pants, shirt and underwear. He had no shoes.

"Now for the fun part!" said Gabe. He conjured a mirror, and he looked at his image.

He looked like Sam Winchester, but he definitely _wasn't_ that Sam in the same sense.

For one thing, his eyes were now blue and green in color. His hair was black, but with red streaks throughout it, mainly at the tips. His nose wasn't broken in, and he was still taller than Gabe.

His hands were a bit bigger than he remembered, and so were his feet. His hair reached his ears, which was a bit longer than he was used to.

He tried to speak...but found he couldn't.

_What's wrong with my voice?_

"Looks like your mind is recovered enough to talk, but your soul still needs time to recover."

_So I can't speak?_

"You'll be a mute for a little while. However your psychic ability seems to have shifted from telekinesis to telepathy to compensate. We can hear you just fine, and that's all that matters."

_Will I have to see Dean and Sam like this?_

"You don't have to...besides, my gut tells me we'll be off to the next alternate pretty soon anyway."


	35. Fourth Alternate End, Fifth Beginning

_**MERRY CHRISTMAS!**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Fourth Alternate End and Fifth beginning...no episode<strong>_

Gabe couldn't believe that Dean wanted to test the Colt against Lucifer, despite the knowledge that it wouldn't even work. So he gathered with the boys for one last strategy session. Mogget and Touchstone (he didn't want any confusion when he took human form, so he chose to be called Touchstone as a joke) were inside the house. Gabe would shift to the next alternate relatively soon, and as long as they were in the house they would be taken with him.

Gabe had given them all he knew, how to stop the apocalypse and that agreeing to either brother was a monumentally idiotic idea.

Dean was also told to avoid a hotel called Elysian Fields under pain of a humiliating death and watching his Impala ripped to shreds and burned bit by bit. Sam seemed highly amused by that particular part of the threat.

Once they had left and went to challenge Lucifer, Gabe followed but kept quiet. Lucifer was too amused at the attempted attack to kill them outright, but he did try to kill Gabe.

Gabe used his powers as Walker to vanish from that alternate and into the next, allowing Lucifer to believe he had 'died'.

He landed somewhere near the hotel Sam had stayed in during the time the bitchy daughter of Azazel had possessed him. He looked through the window where he sensed Sam, and reeled back in disgust.

There was no way in hell he was hanging around this particular Sam and Dean without a lot of scotch. Why in Death's name did this alternate have a pair of Winchester brothers into incest?!

He headed to England instead.

Touchstone and Mogget came out. They couldn't sense Lucifer, and there weren't any angels around. Clearly they had 'slided' into the next alternate.

"Hand me that liquor bottle will you?" he asked Touchstone.

"Why?"

"Wincest..." said Gabe in disgust.

He blinked, processed that statement, before he took a pull of the bottle himself.

"So what do we do?"

"Same thing I did before I went into the game personally. Research Monkey on speed-dial. I already checked England and apparently my alternate is currently about to start his fifth year. I plan to misbehave and avoid the Winchesters completely until needed," said Gabe.

"How do you plan to misbehave?" asked Mogget, his tail twitching. He seemed to really enjoy being a cat for some reason.

Gabe smirked.

"Tell me Stone, how would you like to become an assistant teacher for a while?" he asked mischievously.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe you're making me wear this... It's a damn dress!" said Touchstone with complaint.<p>

"It's a robe," corrected Gabe, not even bothered by the outfit.

Mogget seemed a mite smug, because his animal form was at least normal enough that he could pass off as an odd kneazle, whatever that was.

Gabe was already cackling at the idea of playing him off as some sort of freaky love child of McGonagall and a kneazle.

"Why are we going to some castle in Scotland?"

"One, it will kill time and give you a crack at their library. Feel free to raid the place if the books haven't been opened in a while, you can usually tell by the small amount of dust left behind and the restricted section is open to the teachers. Two, it will give me a chance to train you in magic. And three, it gets us all away from _that_...(he shuddered) in America."

Stone and Mogget both shuddered. The Winchester brothers actually into Wincest, yeah, they weren't touching that with a ten yard pole!

"And why are we here in some stone bank?"

"Gringotts, and so I have a chance to find a decent book for Defense," said Gabe.

Thank god the goblins were aware that he already had an active account.

"Next! Reason for visit?" demanded the goblin.

"Withdrawal."

"Key?"

"No key, but a passphrase to be said in front of vault," said Gabe.

"Take the third door from the left. Next!"

Gabe rode down to his vault, and spoke the phrase.

"The Monkey with the Magic is back in business," he said bluntly.

The vault swung open, revealing more gold than most purebloods had. There were also gems, and what appeared to be scrolls and books. The goblin, a minor one from a noted clan, stared at the wealth inside.

"Huh, guess he decided to leave me a few things to read," said Gabe. He promptly took all the books and scrolls and had them sent into his house. Then he loaded up three bags of gold and closed the door.

A note floated down on his head and he smirked.

_'Here's a list of books that would do nicely as your Defense book. ~Fate.'_

Gabe left the bank and immediately looked up the list. Three of them suited his immediate needs, the rest he bought for himself.

Since he had applied for the position (and had been immediately accepted, to his amusement) he had to assign a book for the entire school. He then sent a cheap owl to the headmaster with his course books, and a few days later the book lists were sent out. There were three different books, depending on the year. Fourth years and below were given relatively new books, fifth and sixth years had one that was slightly more expensive and seventh years had the most advanced one he could find that they could reasonably understand. He was going to prepare them, dammit, and it didn't matter that it made it slightly more confusing for those who bought in bulk for more than one year.

* * *

><p>"Welcome to Hogwarts Mr. Evans. Who is this fine gentleman?"<p>

"His name is Saraneth Singer, though he'll answer to Touchstone if that helps. He's an apprentice of mine. And this is Mogget," said Gabe.

"Ah, that clears things up. Apprentices are allowed within reason," said Dumbledore jovially.

"He's more likely to be in the library than in class. He seems to be a Ravenclaw personality with Gryffindor courage and Hufflepuff loyalty," said Gabe.

"It would be interesting to see which house he would be sorted in, if he were," said Dumbledore.

Gabe laughed.

"Perhaps we should let him try the infamous Sorting Hat just to see where he would have landed," he chuckled.

"These will be your quarters for the year. I do have to ask why you assigned three different books though. Normally the teachers just pick the one."

"I want to prepare them, and the children are not all at the same skill level. Hence why the fifth and sixth years got the intermediate and the seventh the most advanced one I could pick. That should prepare them well enough," said Gabe.

* * *

><p>Gabe watched the children file in, his eyes glinting evilly. He had already warned Touchstone of several students who would need careful handling, and that when he spoke to Harry Potter to just treat the kid like another hunter. In other words, don't sugar coat the real details.<p>

When he finally located his alternate, he had to avoid wincing. The poor kid looked like death warmed over, and his shoulders were hunched like he expected to be hit!

He was so bored.

Touchstone however was having fun talking about runes with Babbling and having an interesting conversation with Flitwick about charms.

Mogget just sat on his shoulder like a parrot and seemed to be having a staring contest with Snape.

Suddenly an idea came to him, one that would amuse him greatly.

He discreetly leveled his wand at the Slytherin table, and sent off a hex. It took five minutes for it to kick in.

Suddenly any of the kids who actually agreed with Voldemort started singing arias in front of the whole school. Seeing the look McGonagall shot the twins, he grinned evilly.

Every student looked at the staff table when Gabe laughed openly.

"You should always be aware kids! If there's one thing ol' Mad-Eye got right, it's that you should always exercise a little constant vigilance!"

He then removed the hex, noting that some of the kids had figured out who pranked the snakes. He could see Fred and George grinning outright at him.

* * *

><p>He had the seventh years first. Touchstone was sitting to the side reading a book, and Mogget...well he was off annoying Mrs. Norris.<p>

"Right, everyone here? Good. First off, I'm sure we're all aware that this is your NEWTs year. And knowing the other teachers, they have likely told you a thousand times the same speech. Well I'm not like McGonagall or Flitwick. If you've made it this far to NEWT-level DADA, then you should be preparing for the real world, and not some stupid test. I'm also sure you've probably noticed that there are three different books depending on what year you're in. That is because I know you all have different levels of skill. Hence why you seventh-years have gotten the most advanced book I could use."

Seeing he had their attention, he continued.

"Now, I don't give a damn what the Ministry tells you is light or what is dark. Light spells can be used for dark purposes, just as dark spells can be used for good ones. For example, a basic levitation spell can be used to kill someone if you dropped them from a great enough height, and the killing curse can be used to end someone humanely. The thing I will be drilling into your heads isn't magic, but the _intent_ of the magic you plan to use," he said.

Fred raised his hand.

"Yes Weasly?"

"Sir, isn't the killing curse classified as illegal?"

"Yes it is. However the thing about the killing curse is that it is intent based. For example, what if someone was being tortured and their mind about broken. Would you rather use a spell such as the cutting curse to kill them which would cause pain, or the killing curse which is instant and causes minimal pain?"

"The killing curse sir," said Fred.

"Now I don't condone murder, let's get that clear right now. However I do believe that ending a threat to the innocent before it become worse is acceptable. If say, you had the choice between killing the Dark Lord from the last war or attempting to rehabilitate him which would be considered idiotic, which would you choose? Killing him would mean that he would no longer be able to harm another. Rehabilitating him would mean that he regrets what he has done, but can still harm others."

"I would prefer to kill him and not have to worry about him coming back after my family," said George.

"Twenty points to Gryffindor. That is exactly the point I will be drilling into your skulls. You already have the skills to pass your NEWTs, it just that you need to learn how to use them _properly_. Now let's have you open your books to chapter two..." said Gabe.

Fred and George spoke highly of the new professor. Gabriel Evans didn't care one whit about the Ministry but rather about insuring his student _knew_ what they were doing without a lot of nonsense in between. Plus he seemed to have an impish side, as shown by the fact his odd cat Mogget had spoken to him during the class, giving everyone a good scare and he had snickered while writing something on the bored.

Harry just hoped that this new professor wouldn't expect him to be perfect.

* * *

><p>"Welcome to Defense! As this is your OWL year, I'll be bringing all of you up to speed on this subject so you had better get good grades or I'll set the twins on you," joked Gabe.<p>

A few of the students cracked a grin, not realizing he was being entirely serious about that. Malfoy just sneered at him.

"Now just to make sure you ghosts and ghouls know what to do, we're having a pop quiz!" he said far too cheerfully.

They all groaned.

"Mogget, you pass out the papers with Touchstone," said Gabe.

Malfoy didn't bother to pick up his paper, looking at the white cat in disgust.

"Is there a problem Mr. Malfoy?"

"I refuse to touch a paper dirtied by a filthy animal," he said haughtily.

Mogget walked right back up to him...and slapped his face with his tail. Most of the Gryffindors snickered loudly.

"If anyone here is filthy, it is you, inbred brat," said Mogget with a glare.

Draco _jumped_ when Mogget spoke.

"Now, now, Mogget. No need to make the pampered pureblood brat piss himself," said Gabe grinning evilly.

He noticed Granger raising her hand.

"Yes Ms. Granger?"

"Sir, how can your cat _talk_?" she asked.

"Hmm... Mogget is a rather unique circumstance, though I myself like to think he's some sort of crossbreed between Professor McGonagall and a rather intelligent Kneazle," he said with a laugh, indicating that it was a joke.

Several of the Gryffindors and quite a few Slytherins snickered at the idea, though some looked rather green at the idea. Harry was among those who snickered though.

"Right, let's see those quills move!" he said clapping his hands.

It took him all of ten minutes to grade the papers.

"And the winner is...Harry Potter and Hermione Granger. Well done, both of you. Ten points to Gryffindor. I like the diversity in your test Ms. Granger, and the practical approach you took Mr. Potter. Now that I have a decent idea of what the base skill level is for this class, I can create a lesson plan for this particular grade. Those of you who scored higher will receive tougher homework, but that only means I expect you to stay at such a high standard," said Gabe, looking at Harry pointedly. He got the message.

The teacher expected him to do his best, but wasn't going to pressure him.

Gabe looked at his watch and an idea came to him.

"Now, seeing as how we only have ten minutes and I'm not entirely heartless...Class dismissed early for lunch. Now scat," he said with a wink.

Touchstone watched the kids leave chatting excitedly about their fun new professor. Clearly he had won their approval.

"You get along good with kids," he said surprised.

"Kids are more fun. Besides, I'm bored."

Touchstone rolled his eyes.


	36. HP Year Five part one

_**Fifth Alternate... Year Five of HP**_

Dolores Umbridge, the toad hag of the Ministry, showed up a month into term under the new heading of Hogwarts Inquisitor.

The students unanimously hated her on sight.

She was annoying, she treated everyone like five-year-olds, and she seemed to thrive in making them absolutely miserable.

It was with great surprise to Filch that the students actually started to be nicer to him once Professor Evans convinced him to trip the woman, claiming she was the one to kick his beloved cat down the halls. Even Snape had a more responsive class when he introduced a poison and many of the fifth year lions started contemplating adding it to Umbridge's food discreetly.

The fact he was actually giving them tips on how to do just that only made him more popular, to his amusement.

Finally the confrontation between Umbitch (as her official nickname went) and Professor Evans and his assistant happened. During fifth year DADA with the lions and snakes no less.

It was one of Harry's more memorable classes.

"Hem, Hem!" coughed Umbridge.

Gabe didn't even look at her. She coughed again, this time tapping her ever present clipboard impatiently.

"I'm sure Madam Pomphrey has something for that cough," he said blandly, ignoring her.

"Mr. Evans, did you not get the notice I handed you this morning about Ministry standards?" she asked.

"You mean that load of tripe I used to roast my marshmallows?" he countered.

Several students snickered.

Umbridge bristled.

She was about to let loose a load of Ministry-driven nonsense...but Gabe drew his wand and hexed her voice away. She kept opening her mouth and no sound came out.

"And that children is what is known as a cone of silence. No sound can leave the cone, and nothing can get in. Great for Binns class or when people are annoying you greatly. Who wants to learn the incantation?" he asked.

Without hesitation, everyone raised their hands.

Gabe cheerfully gave them the words and the wand movements...and the permission to use it on Umbitch as often as they liked. He even added the spell so that it would stay localized to Umbridge to their amusement.

It took her ten minutes to figure out that he had spelled her openly before her face turned red and she started shouting.

Gabe had an evil look in his eyes.

"Right. Who wants to learn prank spells today?"

The students cheered.

Fred and George were most put out when they heard that the entire fifth year Gryffindor and Slytherin class had learned prank spells that day.

However they got something just as good when Touchstone, the mysterious assistant, ended up teaching them during their lesson.

"Right, Gabe is currently out with a nasty hangover and Madam Pomphrey wasn't feeling too sympathetic so I'll be teaching today."

Said professor was on a couch in the corner groaning in pain. The twins snickered.

"Those of you who know how to prank people, you are free to toss any relatively low-level fireworks you have on you," said Touchstone, carefully avoiding the Weasly twins.

Fred and George grinned evilly and tossed a few wet-start firecrackers at the professor. He swore like a sailor before he shot a stinging hex at the one teaching them today.

"Now today I'll be showing you how to cast what is known among certain wizards in America as the 'flash-bang' spell, which is very popular among the armed forces..." said Touchstone, ignoring Gabe's cussing.

Gabe blearily looked at Touchstone and said with a slur "Bitch."

"Jerk," said Touchstone in reply without hesitation.

* * *

><p>"He actually told you to throw fireworks at the professor?" said Hermione incredulous.<p>

"He gave us five points for our good aim," said George.

"Why was he drunk though?" asked Harry.

"We asked that, and apparently he had a run-in with Umbitch who started hassling him again. He had such a headache that he kept drinking high-end liquor without realizing it. Professor Touchstone wasn't too happy about the mess he left, hence why he told us to prank Professor Evans," said Fred grinning.

"I still can't believe he actually gave us prank spells," said Ron.

Hermione huffed.

"At least he actually knows what he's doing. Remember Lockhart?" snorted Harry.

Hermione blushed. They still teased her about that.

"So what did Professor Evans have to say to you Harry?" asked Ron.

"He said that if I needed someone to talk to that his door was always open. I like him..." said Harry.

* * *

><p>Gabe was grading papers in the class when he heard the door open.<p>

A scruffy looking black-haired boy with emerald eyes peaked in.

"Come on in Potter."

Harry looked around and was mildly surprised that he wasn't in the man's office.

"Why are you grading papers in the classroom? Isn't your office just up the stairs?" he asked.

"I find that allowing a student to stay with me in the classroom while I answer questions is less likely to result in people assuming that there is an illicit relationship going on. Plus I really don't enjoy enclosed spaces that much," admitted Gabe. It was why his house was in fact a pocket dimension with a near infinite space to it and he had to conjure doors to whatever room he wanted to go to, since it would take him hours to go from one end of the house to the other.

It was just that big.

Harry sat awkwardly in one of the chairs.

"Now, what did you need Harry?"

"Sir, do you believe me when I say Voldemort is back?"

"Mold and shorts? Who the hell names their kid that?" he asked.

Harry snickered.

"But yes, I do believe you. Just because everyone else has their head up their ass about this issue doesn't mean I won't at least listen when a student brings up a sensitive issue. I would much rather learn that the student is over exaggerating about something like a death than to dismiss it out of hand and find out I was wrong."

Harry seemed to relax at that.

Gabe put down his pen.

"Harry, just because you stopped him once does not mean you are the one to end him permanently. You are a young man with your life ahead of you and there is no reason that a boy your age should be forced to fight in a war that Dumbledore started because he was too damn hypocritical to fight fire with fire."

"Sir?"

"Did you know it took them five years before people finally started using equal force against the Death Eaters? Before then all they did was stun and imprison them. In war there is no place for stunners, not unless it's to get noncombatants out of the way. It's kill or be killed, and personally I would rather see you end the threat against your loved ones than to try and talk it out unless the person is reasonable enough that it's a viable option."

Harry looked uncomfortable with the idea of killing.

"I'm not saying you should go out and kill Malfoy or Snape, but the main idea behind the death penalty in America is to put a permanent end to the threat. Now, tell me Harry do you have any hobbies? Anything to take your mind off things?"

"I talk to my owl," he said.

"A good hobby, and very therapeutic since your owl can't repeat anything you say. But if I were you I'd invest in a cone of silence next time you talk to the owl...it deters listeners. Now, what do you have an interest in?"

"Music and maybe art. But I don't have any time because it's OWL year."

"And because Ms. Granger would have your head if you tried to find anything not school related?" he said knowingly.

Harry nodded.

"Then my assignment for you is to find something new to enjoy. And you have to actually_ enjoy_ it, not go through the motions just to kill time. I find archery to be an interesting past time, and I'm an avid Sci-Fi fan."

Seeing an odd blue pen thing on his desk, Harry grinned.

"You're a mad man in a blue box aren't you?"

"Got it in one," grinned Gabe back.

"Doctor Who is great," said Harry.

"And that right there can be your hobby...want to help me prank some other Whovians later?" he asked mischievously.

Harry leaned in interested. Gabe told him what they would be doing and he started laughing. It this didn't out the Who fans, nothing would!

* * *

><p>Gabe was nowhere to be seen during lunch, though rumor had it he was up to something to cheer up the unhappy children.<p>

Suddenly there was a grinding sound in the middle of the Great Hall, and Touchstone rolled his eyes...though they were glinting in amusement.

Without warning large metal things started rolling in and crying about extermination before Professor Evans appeared out of the odd blue box in the middle of the hall and started fighting them off with what some pure bloods thought was a very odd looking wand.

Most of Ravenclaw however knew different, and were cheering on the Professor. Even Hermione was cheering.

Suddenly the entire show ended, and Gabe took a bow.

To the shock of the students, Harry popped out of the 'lead' metal thing with a grin.

"May I ask what that was about Mr. Evans?" asked Umbridge angrily.

"What, you've never heard of _Doctor Who_? Blasphemy!" he said.

He popped into the box again, then came out looking like some sort of stone angel with it's hands over it's face.

He was later mobbed by a good portion of the school for sci-fi paraphernalia.

Gabe just grinned, and promised to give the twins his contact list for more items once he was gone. They walked off with two costumes each...one for the Princess Leia's slave girl, and the other which was a credible recreation of Naga the White Serpent's usual outfit.

Strangely, one Luna Lovegood came in for that particular outfit and a twinkle in her eye when she asked for it. Since Gabe had seen her looking at Harry a few times across the great hall, he had an idea of why she wanted it.

He wished her luck. And reminded her that age-advancing potions were a great way to get over those pesky complaints from a certain boy hero.

"Yes Ms. Granger?" he asked.

"Sir, I was wondering if you would sponsor a Defense club here at the school..."

"Stop right there. Is this an attempt to get training for the war before it officially breaks out?" he asked.

She stared, surprised he had seen through it so fast without being told.

"I will allow it, but only if Madam Pomphrey agrees to be there to back us up. I want to get some of the people in this school into basic healing classes anyway," said Gabe.

As was becoming standard, Gabe hexed Umbitch into silence. Most of the school had figured out how to cast the cone of silence as it was now called.

Despite her efforts otherwise, it was too late to get the spell banned as the only person who was hit with it with any regularity was Umbridge herself.

And since Gabe clearly didn't _fear_ the Ministry's wrath at thwarting her, there was literally nothing she could do. The one time she attempted to hex him, he had defended himself without actually retaliating.

Not even Lucius was about to ban such a useful spell...even if he had no idea how to cast it and for some reason Draco had been unable to tell him how to use it.

"Alright, now as you know, Ms. Granger has asked me to start up a proper defense club. Before we start, I want Madam Pomphrey to help us set up some ground rules. Anyone interested in learning basic healing spells are free to join her half of the club."

"Rule one is that no malicious spells will be cast or taught in this club. I don't want the extra work of healing just because you lost your tempers. Rule two is that if you are caught using any of the battle spells outside of sanctioned practice, you will be given detention unless you can prove that it was cast in _defense_ only. Rule three is that while you are in the club, disagreements between the houses will stay_ outside_. We do not care if you are a Gryffindor, Slytherin or Ravenclaw. You are all equal students and if you try to bring house rivalries into here you will been banned for two meetings at the minimum," said Pomphrey.

"Another rule is that any of the moves Touchstone over there will be teaching you had better not be put into use outside of self defense. He is going to make sure you survive in the event that your wand is taken from you," said Gabe.

And with that, he started them on battle basics. Namely casting a spell without shouting to the world what you were using.

He had noticed a rather annoying habit of magicals to shout their spells as if that would help them cast it.

He invested in ear plugs and learned to read lips rather early on.


End file.
